Wow, its been a while, hasn't it...

First of all, I apologize to everyone who I've been neglecting for a while. I do still stop by your places, but I generally do it on my mobile device and don't have much time for commenting. But I'm lurking and one day plan to get back to being the old, pre-nursing school me.

Yes, I'm still here. Everything is as good as can reasonably be expected and a little stressful. It's manageable, but man, am I busy. I'm also dumping a lot of stuff on Mona because I'm always at the books. She's holding up, but it's tough on her too.

School is ok, grades are generally good with one test that was a B- (I contend the test was poorly written, my grade was top 7 or so) and a lot of busy work and more studying than I care for.

I'm at a local Panera and am taking a break right now from reading for a test on Monday. I'll pass, it's just annoying.

Clinicals are good. I'm on a medical/surgical floor on Wednesdays and doing labor and delivery on Thursday and Friday. Classes are Monday and Tuesday. Med/Surg is what it is. A couple of weeks ago I had a patient poop on the floor after telling me he didn't need to go when I asked him 3 minutes earlier. Then he pooped again. And again. The last 2 times we got him on the toilet. Oh, the glamour.

I am really liking labor and delivery. It's a good atmosphere and the nurses and the doctors all work well together. That's not really the case on most hospital floors. I hear ER is a similar environment in that regard, but I don't think I'll get to find out (long story) while I'm in school. Right now, if given a choice, I would happily go to work on L&D.

In two weeks we leave L&D and go to pediatrics. I think at least some of my time might be in the peds ER, but it's more like urgent care. Trauma and really serious stuff goes to the children's hospital at the big university 10 minutes away. That might be cool. I hear from the others that most of what they are getting is simple stuff and a fair amount of swine flu.

I took a break and went to a nursing message board and read a story about an older student who graduated and then took her Nursing Board (called the N-CLEX) exam. It's something that every graduate nurse and student fears and dreads. And I'm sure it's the same for every profession that requires a licensing exam. I've heard more than one person say they leave the testing center and vomit in the parking lot.

Anyway, I read the little story and a few of the comments and found myself starting to tear up. And then I started laughing at myself. Right in the middle of Panera. Luckily there aren't many people in here.

But that little episode tells me I might be feeling a little more stress than I'm willing to admit. Which is why I'm taking a few minutes to write this all down. Hopefully I can get at least a little of this off my chest.

I am easily in the top third of my class. I am good on the floor and in front of patients. My instructors like me, as do the nurses I work with (I'm basing this on the feedback I get from the clinical instructors).

Intellectually I know that I am going to pass all my classes and I'll pass my boards. As much as there is to know, it's not rocket science. But I still get a little freaked out from time to time. I'll be OK. Really I will.

This semester ends in mid-August. They say the third semester is a lot easier. Right now I just need to make it to August. I will make it to August.

Holy crap, why isn't it August yet??!!

Here's my nursing self diagnosis: Impaired coping related to educational and family stress as evidenced by simultaneously crying and laughing in Panera.