Time to put on My Pseudo-Intellectual Hat

First of all, full disclosure and a disclaimer.

When I leave my job in December money will be tight enough for us to qualify for food stamps. Under the Obama tax plan (should it go through in time to be used for 2009 Tax Returns) my family would probably benefit directly.

What I’m about to say is meant to be a philosophical argument. Ultimately taxation is not really theft, and the fact that one chooses to live someplace with a representative government where taxes are levied and collected does imply consent to be taxed.

But here’s the thing.

Taking something that I haven't earned is stealing.

Taking something that someone else took from somebody who earned it is receiving stolen goods.

The tax plan that the blue states are voting for will result in, according to a report on NPR this afternoon, a "direct payment" to roughly the bottom third of tax filers (people who right now get pay no tax and get full refunds at the end of the year). That's right, 30 to 40% of people who file tax returns pay no income tax at all.

The "refundable tax credit" means they (and probably I) get a check that contains more than what was withheld in taxes. Sure I can use the money, but taking it is wrong.

That extra money came from someone who might not have been willing to give it up. Someone who spent roughly 2 1/2 hours a day, every day, working to do nothing more than hand those wages over to me.

That's the problem I have. To me, this tax plan looks like the government is brokering stolen goods.

Also at the core of the argument for me is the question “Why should I work hard if I’m not going to be any better off than I am now?”

After all, what's easier (and for that matter which do you value more)- working hard and earning an extra three, four or five thousand dollars or just having faceless donor write you a check?

That ends the philosophical portion of today’s discussion.

Just Exactly How Freakin' Small is the World, Anyway?

I have an interesting story, but first you’ll need some background.

My brother Juan has a best friend I’ll call Pepe. They’ve been best friends since first grade. Both Juan and Pepe know each others families and extended families quite well. In Juan’s case he even knows some of Pepe’s relatives who live in England and Australia. I’ve met some of them as well.

And now the story.

Last night I went to the airport to pick up Juan and his wife, Juanita. They were returning from their 2 week Mediterranean cruise honeymoon. They started out in Turkey, cruised to some Greek islands, then Egypt, more islands, and ended up on the Greek mainland.

During one of their last days in Athens they were walking around in some sort of plaza that Juan describes as kind of a giant flea market when he saw a guy who looked familiar. So my brother went up to him and called him a dirty name. The guy looked at Juan, paused long enough for Juan to worry that he had just called the wrong guy a dirty name and was going to get punched in the mouth, and said “What the f*&k are you doing here, mate?

Yep. It was one of Pepe’s cousins from Australia. In freaking Athens. How in the hell is it possible for 2 people from 2 different continents who happen to know one another to bump into each other on a 3rd entirely separate continent?

Now you many know Juan and you might know that he is a congenital liar. But this time he has photographic evidence. I saw the picture (still in the camera and unedited) of him and Pepe’s cousin standing around in Greece! He’s got indisputable proof.

I keep hearing that there are something like 5 or 6 billion people on this planet. If that was true a coincidence like this should not be possible. I’m going to need some proof that there are that many people. Otherwise there’s got to be something going on.

Anyone out there good at figuring out probabilities? Juan is from Michigan. Pepe’s cousin is Australian. They met up in Greece with no planning or forethought. It was entirely coincidental. Seriously, what’s the statistical probability of that happening?

Lots of Little Things

I have a few things today.

First.

We took The Peanut to swim class yesterday. She asks about it regularly during the week and wants to go. Since it’s a parent and tot class I get in with her and she asks about games that we’ll play. One she asks for is called “Bouncy Bouncy”. Basically I bounce up and down while holding her and moving in a circle with the other parents in front of the water slide while saying “bouncy bouncy”. When we get in front of the slide I put her on the last two or three feet and pull her to me.

The thing that gets me is when we get there after being asked about it for a while she says she doesn’t want a turn on the slide. She got one anyway, and enjoyed it, but there was definitely some nervous anticipation there.

I really, really want her to be good in the water. He mother is afraid of anything deeper than a bath tub. I fear big water (the Great Lakes, seas and oceans) just enough to keep from doing anything stupid. But I’m very, very at home in the water. I’m not Michael Phelps, but it’s just because I’m shorter, fatter and lacking in his natural talent and drive. But I bet I’m just as comfortable in the pool. I want that level of comfort for The Peanut. Ultimately I want her to be my dive buddy and take her (and her potential sibling, or siblings if Mona has her way) on SCUBA trips. My biggest fear is that my desire for it will turn her off completely.

How do you balance that?

Second.

My boss has had some family issues lately and has been somewhat absent from the office. He’s told me what they are and I fully understand and support his decision. I think I’m turning into his wise older guy employee who can help him with what I’ll call for lack of a better word and with honest humility, my “wisdom”. Truthfully if I can give him the benefit of my experience then I’m glad.

But lately he’s also leaning on me to fill in for him when he’s out. Again not something I mind doing. I don’t want his job but I am a team player and if I can help him out I’m glad to do it.

The problem I have is this- I only have 38 more working days left at this job. The more he comes to lean on me the worse I fear having to quit. I know he’ll be fine and so will the company and my customers. I have no illusions about being indispensible. It’s just that the thought of letting this guy down really bothers me. Which is also a very new experience. I think I need a hug.

Third.

We’ve taken The Peanut to a couple of Halloween events this year. One at Greenfield Village (which I really liked) and one at the Detroit Zoo. We put her in a little bumblebee outfit which is very cute but she doesn’t really seem to dig the whole Halloween thing yet. Mostly she just rides along in her stroller and gets tired and cranky by about 7:30.

I’m sure it will be better next year. Halloween is my favorite holiday, followed by the Fourth of July. If only there was a way to incorporate explosives into Halloween it would be perfect. Costumes, free candy, anonymous giving and guilt free taking. What could possibly be better?

Fourth.

I just recently figured out how to explain my views on taxation and the concept of “fairness”. I think it’s only right that I get to keep what I earn. And that other people should get to keep what they earn. I don’t believe I have a right to the fruits of the labor of anyone who isn’t me.

So let’s look at it this way. Imagine life is a classroom. A few people who are really smart or very driven to study get A’s. A few more people get B’s and the largest chunk of students get C’s. D’s should occur about as often as B’s and F’s, Incompletes and Drops should about equal the number of A’s.

I tend to get A’s. If the Dean came down to a class I was in and told everyone with a C or below that he would be giving them some extra points to bring up their grades by taking a few points from the A and B students I would be furious. And if you added up all those points taken away and redistributed you would find that they aren’t really enough to change the grades of the people who got them in the first place. So now we end up with a system where no one is better off. How is that a good idea?

In order to go further with this example we’d have to start a very long discussion about the nature of money and wealth. My view is that it is unlike matter and energy in that it can be created where it had not previously existed. Therefore wealth has, or can be, infinite, whereas matter cannot. And if the amount of wealth is potentially unlimited we can’t punish the very rich for having a lot of it. They can’t really have more of infinity. And their share of infinity does not restrict me from getting the largest share possible. Does that make sense?

Last.

I have more stuff, but the dogs are wrestling, The Peanut is getting up and I really ought to get Mona up before the whole day is gone.

Hasta la bye bye, for now.

Let me tell you how I really feel...

Originally what follows was meant to be a comment on Alex’s blog. But it kind kept growing and I just couldn’t bring myself to post this as a comment.

She was talking about some instructors at her university who were, in effect, offering bribes for good evaluations. She then asked if anyone had any experience with such a thing.

Here’s my answer, along with some stories about my own college experiences.

How does one go about offering a bribe in exchange for a good evaluation?

Ultimately an instructor offering a bribe suggests one of two things to me. Either the instructor is a complete idiot, realizes it, and hopes to keep the students from spreading it around "officially" or he or she just really insecure and mildly paranoid.

Either way I don't believe I would accept a bribe, but it may lead me to go a little easy on them out of pity. Unless it was done in a way that I felt was offensive, in which case I'd have no problems crushing them.

I have no experience with any sort of academic in all of the classes I've taken.

The last few evaluations I've done have been at a community college where I was taking some pre-reqs for the program I'm starting in January.

Both times the instructors conducted a full class and with 5 minutes or so left announced that they were passing out evaluations.

They asked for a volunteer to collect them and handed that person a manila envelope to seal after they were collected.

Then the instructors left the room and we were free to evaluate away.

All in all I there two things I think about evaluations. One is that they seldom ask the right questions and two is that they are never handed out by the instructors who need to be evaluated.

Both of these stories are true and unembellished.

There's only been two times when I wished that I could fill out an evaluation, The first was for a Humanities class. The instructor was a total idiot and really should have retired.

The tests were all true and false and the instructor was fond of telling us that he didn't even know how to write a trick question. And to a certain extent he was telling the truth. But here's an example. He referenced one of his lectures and referred to a photo of a kid being handed a horn to play in a marching band. The image was not on the test, you had to go from memory.

The question was: The boy in the picture was going to play trumpet in the marching band. True or False?

Now I spent several years in marching band and played in college for a while too. I remembered that picture and recalled noticing that the horn was a coronet.

So I asked if he was making a distinction between a trumpet and a coronet and he said yes, of course, they're two very different instruments.

I knew from years and years of playing that in a whole lot of bands coronets and trumpets play from the same music. In the same key. With the exact same fingerings. And if you can play one you can play the other with no changes in proficiency. It's like switching from an electric guitar to an acoustic guitar. The sound might be a little different (barely) but the guy who's playing it won't do a single thing differently.

No trick questions my ass. All his tests were like that. I would have evaluated the crap outta him.

I was so pissed when I walked out of that final that I told my parents if I got less than a B in that class I was going to the Dean.

The second was in a psych class. The instructor there liked to rant about stuff.

One day he came in griping about “kids today” and asked if anyone could tell him why it was that students today didn’t take their academic careers seriously.

And the idiots in my class who had apparently never been yelled at by an annoyed parent tried to answer! One kid said something like “Ummm… peer pressure?” Which of course only led to more ranting.

After about 5 minutes I finally got tired of it an raised my hand. I was a senior at this point and pretty salty. When he called on me I said “Why don’t you tell us? Surely this isn’t a phenomenon that began with people born after 1970!”

He came down the aisle, glowering all the way, stood next to my desk and told me “The only reason I’m standing here today is because I had a 3.X as an undergrad and a 4.0 in my post grad program!”

I replied “That’s great. I have a 3.8 in a business curriculum and I’m being recruited by Fortune 500 companies like Dow Chemical!”.

(OK, so I lied a little there. The truth is that I had done a ride along with a Dow rep a few months earlier as part of a class project.)

But that was enough to stop the rant and get on with the class, which was my goal.

After that I was just irritated by the guy. And if I had been able to evaluate him I would have had some things to say. None of them would have been complimentary.

The last time I checked ratemyprofessor.com that nut was still teaching.

This is one of the reasons that I rather dislike the whole idea of tenure. When accountability is removed wisdom often succumbs to hubris.

Any thoughts?

Never a Dull Moment

I have a sore throat. Yesterday I had a fever to go along with it, but that seems to have passed. Mona wasn’t well either.

We decided to hit the sack at about 9 PM. After some tossing, a few drinks of water to wet the sore throat and then some turning we drifted off somewhere around 10.

At 2:30 it all went to hell.

Mona and I were awakened by lots of sirens in the back yard. I thought it was the bank alarm.

Mona looked out the back window while I looked out front. Police cruisers were whipping down the street and stopping 3 or 4 doors up. Then a couple of cops came running by. Then another.

All the time- Sirens.

Mona said someone ran through the neighbor’s yard to the north.

I turned on the exterior lights and heard the police yelling. The only word I heard clearly was a compound word that started with mother.

I decided to stay inside and wait until it was light to see what had happened.

After about 45 minutes or so it was all over. Mona went back to sleep but I couldn’t. So I watched TV until it was time to get going for the day.

Once it was light out I went out and reconstructed the crime scene. Below is a satellite picture of my house (with the little A). The top of the photo is North.


It looked like the Police chased someone who tried to turn into the eastbound side street. He didn’t make it. Judging by the oil streaks and bits of engine left this morning he hit the northeast curb at a 45 degree angle, curved a bit, went over the first parking island and came to a complete stop when he hit the southwest corner of my fence. He bent the chain link post and crushed one of the 4x4 posts on the privacy fence. Then a little further north the privacy fence was broken in a bit, I’m guessing from being climbed over.

In the back yard our one remaining garden bed had the copper tubing that the tomatoes climb up crushed, probably from being landed on. Our back gate was left open.

I have some estimators coming out to look at the fence and the insurance company has been notified.

I know that people have come over the fence after robbing the bank, but this is the first crash. Interstingly enough, I've talked with the neighbors in both houses south of me and they both missed the whole thing. Both have dogs who also missed it. It's a good thing I have Mona, a damaged fence and a police report to prove I was telling the truth.

This is my second experience with a police chase. My first was riding along with a friend who is a cop.

How about you?

I think I need a hug.

We’re doomed. I wish it weren’t so, but I’m afraid that it’s no longer possible to pretend otherwise. I have always operated under the cynical premise "People are stupd." Today I learned just how stupid they are.

Mona and I were watching some TV after we put The Peanut to bed when the phone rang. It was a new kind of political phone call. I was conferenced in to a “Town Hall” call with a local congressman and a bunch of my fellow citizens in the district.

Normally I don’t go for such things, but it seemed like a neat idea so I decided to give it a listen. I was told at the beginning of the call that I’d be given the opportunity to ask the congressman a question if I chose.

Now I’ll tell you, this is a guy I’d voted against. Repeatedly. I figured I’d listen for an opening and pounce on him like a starving Cheetah on a ham sandwhich.

Then I started listening to the questions that were coming in. Holy crap. The best of the bunch was clueless and the worst was barely coherent. I heard one guy who was unemployed ask about the cost of his medical care. The congressman suggested he look into COBRA. The question was worthless and the answer showed just how disconnected the congressman was. He’s obviously never seen what COBRA costs.

The next guy, another auto worker, this time retired, rambled about foreign companies coming over here and buying our infrastructure and golf courses with the money they make by not paying their labor what we do. He wanted to know why all foreign imports weren’t considered luxuries and subject to luxury tax. Seriously? The answer is apparently socialized medicine. That will make us more competitive. Riiiiight.

The next guy, also unemployed, was concerned that the second extension of his unemployment was about to run out and was there any way they could come up with another extension in the next week or two instead of waiting for the next session of congress.

And this is when I finally understood that we’re doomed. I hung up because in a flash of clarity I knew that no matter how clever or well constructed my argument was it was highly unlikely that my fellow citizens would understand it. Cast not pearls before swine. I might not have had pearls, but heck even if I was casting nickels it would have been the same thing.

Clearly if these guys are voters we have no hope. The level of ignorance was just staggering. I started thinking about the Lincoln Douglas debates. I fear that were those two men to arrive from Heaven speaking the vernacular of the 21st century to debate the issues of the day the general public would by and large be completely incapable of understanding their arguments.

I am not talented enough to fully describe what I heard. But if what I heard was really a representative sample then we are truly doomed. Lord help us, we're doomed.

Where can I go to find a population of free thinking, independent, and self reliant people who are interested only in making their own way in the world without the need for or expectation of the warm, fluffy and ultimately suffocating blanket of parental government?

My Green Mile

I was supposed to have a meeting with my boss this morning. He had to reschedule (I wasn’t surprised, he’s a great boss but has time management issues) to Wednesday.

When we finally do meet he’s going to put me on a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP). I’m going on because my sales have been poor lately. It’s no surprise and it’s happened before, but it still sucks.

PIP used to be worse in the old days because it would cost you stock options and limit your ability to take time off. Both of those things are gone now, so the only downside is the prospect of getting fired.

And don’t think it doesn’t happen. There have been a dozen people or more that I’ve seen it happen to. I was almost one of them in July of 2007. I was within 8 hours of getting fired and got lucky at the last minute.

This month I get the verbal warning. In November I go on written. Technically if they wanted to get rid of me my last day could be November 28th. I don’t think it will happen, but it’s possible.

I have a countdown going in my head. 53 more working days as of today. I should be able to last until then.

I plan to give notice on December 8th anyway so if they fire me I can get a month off with my vacation pay and a month of unemployment. If they don’t I’ll get paid through the 19th and my vacation pay (close to 4 weeks). Either way I won’t be here in January.

My boss once mentioned that people don’t quit companies, they quit managers. I fully understand that, but I don’t feel like I’m doing that. If I was still working for the guy I was when I made the decision to return to school I think I would. But I will make it a point to thank this boss for everything, assure him that there are no hard feelings and wish him success with complete sincerity.

One of the things I feel bad about is quitting on him. Like I said he’s a good guy and I really believe that he’s interested in my success. Last week I accepted his invitation to his Christmas party (the managers here are encouraged to host parties for their teams in their own homes). The party is the 12th. So that Monday I quit, Friday I go to his party and spend the next week just getting things ready for my departure. Is attending the party a way to say thanks or is it a kick in the teeth? How do you see it?