Friday, August 29, 2008

So what if I'm an anachronism?

I wear ties to work almost every day, rain or shine. I also can’t bring myself to enter a church or go to a wedding or funeral without at least a jacket and tie.

Mona’s uncle passed away recently and we attended his funeral. I wore a dark suit, ironed and starched long sleeve shirt, conservative tie, leather belt and polished leather shoes. I was one of the few men who did.

A couple of guys had on short sleeved shirts and ties, one had a suit on with work boots. There were a couple of guys in golf shirts and Dockers and a few showed up in shorts! I was appalled, simply appalled.

The women weren’t much better. I’ll leave the rules for women to a woman, but I’ll make some “suggestions” for the guys.

There's a good reason that I dress up. It’s about respect. Respect for the people I am working with, celebrating with, worshiping with or mourning with. I show my respect by being freshly showered, shaved, and dressed as well as I can be.

Sure, sometimes I would be more physically comfortable in lighter weight clothing, but not everything is about how I feel. It’s about letting other people know that they are important enough that I would dress up for them.

Mona laughs at me, and asks if I want a black tie funeral. I think that’s a bit much, but have requested business attire.

If you want to know how a suit should fit, take a look at old tapes of Johnny Carson, or any member of the Rat Pack. Those guys were perfectly tailored at all times. And a good tailor can do more with a $150 off the rack suit than you can imagine. You don't need to spend a lot to look good.

Here are a few rules I follow. Even if you don’t wear suits to work, every guy should have at the very least a decent navy blue suit. Charcoal suits are a good second choice. Pinstripes are generally more conservative. Black suits should only be worn by funeral directors. Brown, tan or olive suits can only be worn in the Midwest and states where cowboy hats are appropriate. If you're not from a state where everyone wears hats and boots, don't try it.

Tuxedos come in one color. Black. White dinner jackets are only to be worn if you're James Bond. Tails are only worn on very formal occasions, as are white ties and white vests. Stripped pants are appropriate before 6 PM.

A suit should be made of 100% worsted wool and fully lined. If you can afford it (I can’t) you can wear silk suits. Silk is very comfortable in the heat and sits and moves beautifully. (I have a pair of silk pants from Nautica that I found at TJ Maxx. They were originally $125, I think I got them for $20 or $25.)

The bottom of the jacket should hang about to your knuckles when your arms hang naturally. Sleeves should be about even with your wrist bone in order to show a little of your shirt cuff. Single, double or unvented jackets are basically a fashion decision, but your body type may dictate one or another. Jackets are never buttoned when a vest is being worn. When not wearing vest the lowest button on the jacket should remain unbuttoned. Jackets are to be unbuttoned when sitting and re-buttoned upon standing. Always button the inside button when wearing a double breasted jacket.

Pants should sit at your natural waist. Pockets should lay flat and not bulge or pull. Cuffs are optional, and pants without cuffs are generally thought of as more formal. Pants should rest lightly on the top of the instep and have one single, slight break about 4 inches above the hem. The pant should never touch the floor, nor should it puddle around your ankles.

Belts or suspenders are a personal choice, but must never be worn simultaneously. Belts should be leather and not worn or damaged. Suspenders should be cloth and buttoned to brace buttons in the waistband of the pant.

Shirts should be pressed and starched. Collars should fit comfortably around the neck, neither pinching nor gapping. If your shirt has a place for collar stays you can purchase brass stays that hold the points flat all day. French cuffs are a matter of personal preference.

Neckties should be silk and clip-ons are only acceptable for police officers as a safety precaution. The size of the knot is determined by the distance of the collar points from one another. A wide collar needs a full Windsor. Button downs seem to work best with a half Windsor. Forehand knots are for narrow collars. The point of the tie should just meet the belt buckle. Never use a tie tack, they damage the silk.

Vests should be tailored to fit as well . The vest should button comfortably without pulling. The bottom button should be left unbuttoned.

Socks should be darker than your shoes, not see through and not falling down. White socks are never acceptable.

Shoes should be the same color as the belt. They should be lace ups, with polished leather with leather soles. Rubber soled shoes are for the gym. Plastic shoes are just an abomination.

I don’t expect to expire anytime soon, but if I should, please be dressed appropriately when you come to pay your respects.

3 comments:

h.h. aspaspia said...

Short sleeved shirts & ties?
Ugh.

Anonymous said...

You definately hit a peeve of mine. When did dressing appropriately for an event (wedding, funeral, whatever) turn into casual day all day, every day?
To tack on one more item: Sneakers as footwear to go to these same functions. WTF people? I'm all for dressing comfortably, but there IS a line.

Alex.

Nob Hill Omnivore said...

I was with you all the way down to the shoes, I do believe loafers can be acceptable although purist go with the lace-ups.