The little rant below is something I wrote but did not send in response to some name calling that got out of hand.
My Dad has a habit of sending lots of political email and spam and he doesn't think before he sends it. Most of the people he sends stuff to have differing opinions and spend most of their time waiting for the grim reaper.
They don't really understand all this new-fangled inter-mail thingy stuff. That's why they feel no shame in hitting "reply to all" when they feel like telling Big Lou what an idiot he is.
And then someone who agrees with Big Lou also replies to all and the next thing you know my inbox starts filling up with crap.
I wanted very badly to send this to Big Lou and a couple of idiots who were flaming each other but then good sense kicked in and I decided to just post it here. This is what I almost said:
OK gang,
Let's talk a little about email etiquette.
Here are some helpful hints that might just put an end to this kind of thing.
Rule 1: Always remember that Email is just like regular mail, only faster, much easier to track and it never, ever, goes away.
Rule 2: In view of rule number 1, never send unsolicited, potentially inflammatory, or pornographic material to anyone. Ever. Leave that to teenagers who don't know any better.
Rule 3: If someone sends you something that violates rule 2 you have several options. You can
A. add them to your blocked sender / spam list and keep their messages out of your inbox permanently,
B. delete whatever they send unread or
C. start what's called a flame war and respond via email. A or B are the best choices. C, again, is the option for teenagers.
Rule 4: If you feel absolutely compelled to choose option C and call the sender a slack-jawed fathead you can do it in one of the following ways:
A. Get in your car, drive to their house, knock on the door and say "You, sir or madam, are a slack-jawed fat head. Good day."
B. Pick up the phone, call the sender and say "You, sir or madam, are a slack-jawed fat head. Good day."
C. Select the "Reply to sender" option on your email and reply TO THE SENDER ONLY, telling him that he's a slack-jawed fat head.
Rule 5: IT IS NEVER, EVER ACCEPTABLE TO SELECT "REPLY TO ALL" AND DRAG PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT INTERESTED INTO AN ARGUMENT FOR SLACK-JAWED FAT HEADS!
Keep these rules in mind and we'll soon realize Rodney King's dream of all getting along.
Good day.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
One More Try
I already posted a favorite fish recipe and didn’t get a single response, but I still haven’t learned my lesson.
Yesterday I got a text from my sister in law telling me that she and a cousin had dcided that in addition to the other food we're taking to Mona's family Christmas that I should also bring this.
This is one that I adapted from a cookbook I found, and so of all the food I’ve ever served has to be the biggest hit. Basically I substituted smoked salmon for poached and shallots for green onion. I think mine has a much fuller flavor. So here goes.
Smoked Salmon Pate’
2 Packages of cream cheese
6-8 Oz smoked salmon
2 to 3 medium shallots
3 Cloves of Garlic
½ cup Fresh Parsley
¼ stick of butter
1 Tsp dried Thyme
½ Tsp salt
½ Tsp coarse ground black pepper
Set cream cheese and butter out to soften.
The rest can be done by hand, but if you’ve got the appliances, I say use ‘em.
In a food processor finely chop the parsley, then peel shallots and garlic and chop until diced. (Warning, too much chopping will liquefy the shallots, so be careful).
Add Cream cheese, butter, parsley, shallots, salt, pepper and Thyme to mixing bowl and mix slow to medium to combine.
Remove any skin and bone from the smoked salmon, cut into one inch cubes and place evenly in the food processor. Chop until fine, again being careful not to do it too much. Too little is OK, the mixer is going to help out in a second.
Fold the salmon into the mixer slowly. Once everything is combined mix on high until smooth and a little fluffy.
Chill for 10 minutes (or more) and serve with water crackers.
For larger amounts use the following ratios of Cream Cheese to Salmon:
3 packs to 12 Oz
4 packs to 16 Oz
5 packs to 20 Oz
Everything else increases by about a third, but do it to taste and trust your judgment.
Try this one at your next get together. I swear it’s a crowd pleaser.
Yesterday I got a text from my sister in law telling me that she and a cousin had dcided that in addition to the other food we're taking to Mona's family Christmas that I should also bring this.
This is one that I adapted from a cookbook I found, and so of all the food I’ve ever served has to be the biggest hit. Basically I substituted smoked salmon for poached and shallots for green onion. I think mine has a much fuller flavor. So here goes.
Smoked Salmon Pate’
2 Packages of cream cheese
6-8 Oz smoked salmon
2 to 3 medium shallots
3 Cloves of Garlic
½ cup Fresh Parsley
¼ stick of butter
1 Tsp dried Thyme
½ Tsp salt
½ Tsp coarse ground black pepper
Set cream cheese and butter out to soften.
The rest can be done by hand, but if you’ve got the appliances, I say use ‘em.
In a food processor finely chop the parsley, then peel shallots and garlic and chop until diced. (Warning, too much chopping will liquefy the shallots, so be careful).
Add Cream cheese, butter, parsley, shallots, salt, pepper and Thyme to mixing bowl and mix slow to medium to combine.
Remove any skin and bone from the smoked salmon, cut into one inch cubes and place evenly in the food processor. Chop until fine, again being careful not to do it too much. Too little is OK, the mixer is going to help out in a second.
Fold the salmon into the mixer slowly. Once everything is combined mix on high until smooth and a little fluffy.
Chill for 10 minutes (or more) and serve with water crackers.
For larger amounts use the following ratios of Cream Cheese to Salmon:
3 packs to 12 Oz
4 packs to 16 Oz
5 packs to 20 Oz
Everything else increases by about a third, but do it to taste and trust your judgment.
Try this one at your next get together. I swear it’s a crowd pleaser.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Cold
It is cold here. I mean really cold. This is the coldest December I can recall. We got to zero last night. That means it was so cold that there was no temperature. It means that when the Mercury hit 2 Fahrenheit that the temperature had actually doubled since the last reading.
I've come up with a new scale for cold.
First we have crisp. Then comes brisk, followed by bracing. Next we have cold, really cold and holy crap. Then we get to where we are now, which is areyoufreakingkiddingme. The last bank sign I saw actually said that.
It's so cold..
(This is the part where you say "How cold is it?)
It's so cold that Brass Monkeys are leaving town by the busload.
It's so cold that dogs are getting stuck to fire hydrants.
This morning when I let the dogs out I found the corpse of an Eskimo that appeared to have been half eaten by a polar bear.
It's so cold there are penguins in my birdbath.
It's so cold Al Gore is changing his PowerPoint slides.
It's so cold that cows are giving Ice Cream.
It's so cold that people are warming their hands on witches hooters and well diggers asses.
The Iditarod is now coming through South East Michigan.
Even the fat guys have stopped wearing shorts.
It's so cold people are drinking cups of liquid Nitrogen to stay warm.
I saw a bird take off, get hit by a strong gust of wind, freeze solid while in flight and explode into a thousand pieces when it hit the ground.
It's so cold the Abominable Snow Man showed up in a warming shelter downtown and now refuses to leave.
There's been some wild talk around here about finding that "F&*@*ing groundhog and water boarding that little furry b@#%*rd until he admits that he's never, ever seen his M@#^&er F$%*(ing shadow and hopes he never does." Let's hope it's just talk.
Last night The Peanut's rubber ducky sank after hitting an ice berg in the bathtub.
The farmers market has been closed. It has been replaced with an open air meat locker.
It's so cold Molasses is wishing it was January.
It's so cold that it's now possible to walk all the way across all 5 Great Lakes. Lake Erie, the shallowest of them, is now one soild block of ice and is not expected to fully thaw until October 2009.
There's more, but I think you get the idea.
I've come up with a new scale for cold.
First we have crisp. Then comes brisk, followed by bracing. Next we have cold, really cold and holy crap. Then we get to where we are now, which is areyoufreakingkiddingme. The last bank sign I saw actually said that.
It's so cold..
(This is the part where you say "How cold is it?)
It's so cold that Brass Monkeys are leaving town by the busload.
It's so cold that dogs are getting stuck to fire hydrants.
This morning when I let the dogs out I found the corpse of an Eskimo that appeared to have been half eaten by a polar bear.
It's so cold there are penguins in my birdbath.
It's so cold Al Gore is changing his PowerPoint slides.
It's so cold that cows are giving Ice Cream.
It's so cold that people are warming their hands on witches hooters and well diggers asses.
The Iditarod is now coming through South East Michigan.
Even the fat guys have stopped wearing shorts.
It's so cold people are drinking cups of liquid Nitrogen to stay warm.
I saw a bird take off, get hit by a strong gust of wind, freeze solid while in flight and explode into a thousand pieces when it hit the ground.
It's so cold the Abominable Snow Man showed up in a warming shelter downtown and now refuses to leave.
There's been some wild talk around here about finding that "F&*@*ing groundhog and water boarding that little furry b@#%*rd until he admits that he's never, ever seen his M@#^&er F$%*(ing shadow and hopes he never does." Let's hope it's just talk.
Last night The Peanut's rubber ducky sank after hitting an ice berg in the bathtub.
The farmers market has been closed. It has been replaced with an open air meat locker.
It's so cold Molasses is wishing it was January.
It's so cold that it's now possible to walk all the way across all 5 Great Lakes. Lake Erie, the shallowest of them, is now one soild block of ice and is not expected to fully thaw until October 2009.
There's more, but I think you get the idea.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Learning the Hard Way
Sometime in the early summer my neighbors Ed and Debbie put their house up for sale. Debbie had been offered a job on the east coast and they were moving. The real reason for the move was so that they could be closer to their children, both of whom are grown and getting ready to start families.
They were simply fabulous neighbors and we miss the heck out of them.
Because their house was so very nice it sold quickly to another couple with older children. Dan and Stephanie moved here from Tennessee when Stephanie was transferred by her company. Dan has a job that allows him to live anywhere. Their children had remained in the south.
After they settled in a little I went over and introduced myself and chatted for a little while. They were born and raised in the Volunteer State and had never experienced a northern winter.
I told them to buy a snow blower and that they wouldn't regret it. They told me that other people had told them the same thing and that if they waited for the snow it would be too late.
On Friday we got our first real snowstorm of the year. We'd had other snow fall, but not much more than two inches or so. We got around 10 inches of powdery snow in about 8 hours and it was really cold and windy, which lead to blowing and drifting.
Mona and I went to work together and when we got home I went outside to fire up my snow blower and clear the driveway.
Most of the other neighbors were already cleared out. But when I went outside I saw Dan in his back yard. So I figured I'd head over there just to say "Welcome to Michigan." And that's when I learned just how little they know about snow.
When I got to their fence I saw Dan shoveling. But he wasn't using a snow shovel to plow the snow out of the way. Nope. He had a coal shovel and was using it to fill up a wheel barrow! Then he was dumping the snow in his back yard. It was funny and sad at the same time. If I was a southerner I think the expression would be "Well bless his heart!"
I didn't have the heart to tell him "I told you so" or to offer shoveling tips, but I told him that I'd come over with my snow blower and finish up. Stephanie came to the door and we talked for a bit. They were both a little shell shocked. I told them that this was a pretty good snow but that it wasn't a crippler. We'd be fine by today.
We've got another inch or two tonight and more coming on Tuesday. Not much, maybe 4 inches all in all. The upside is we're guaranteed a white Christmas.
I hope Dan and Stephanie go out and get themselves a snow machine. They're good investments if you're over 35 and live anyplace that gets real snow.
My snow blower is freaking awesome. I shoveled for seven years, but after ending up in the E.R. on the morning of my wedding getting shot up with Morphine and ending up stoned on Vicodin and muscle relaxers for the rest of the day because I blew my back out shoveling, Mona let me get this.
I've got the biggest one on the block. I do my house, 2 others neighbors driveways and the sidewalks for 5 houses. I'm pretty sure all the neighbor ladies think "Wow, what a stud- His wife is so lucky!" when they see me skillfully controlling such a powerful machine.
Oh yeah.
They were simply fabulous neighbors and we miss the heck out of them.
Because their house was so very nice it sold quickly to another couple with older children. Dan and Stephanie moved here from Tennessee when Stephanie was transferred by her company. Dan has a job that allows him to live anywhere. Their children had remained in the south.
After they settled in a little I went over and introduced myself and chatted for a little while. They were born and raised in the Volunteer State and had never experienced a northern winter.
I told them to buy a snow blower and that they wouldn't regret it. They told me that other people had told them the same thing and that if they waited for the snow it would be too late.
On Friday we got our first real snowstorm of the year. We'd had other snow fall, but not much more than two inches or so. We got around 10 inches of powdery snow in about 8 hours and it was really cold and windy, which lead to blowing and drifting.
Mona and I went to work together and when we got home I went outside to fire up my snow blower and clear the driveway.
Most of the other neighbors were already cleared out. But when I went outside I saw Dan in his back yard. So I figured I'd head over there just to say "Welcome to Michigan." And that's when I learned just how little they know about snow.
When I got to their fence I saw Dan shoveling. But he wasn't using a snow shovel to plow the snow out of the way. Nope. He had a coal shovel and was using it to fill up a wheel barrow! Then he was dumping the snow in his back yard. It was funny and sad at the same time. If I was a southerner I think the expression would be "Well bless his heart!"
I didn't have the heart to tell him "I told you so" or to offer shoveling tips, but I told him that I'd come over with my snow blower and finish up. Stephanie came to the door and we talked for a bit. They were both a little shell shocked. I told them that this was a pretty good snow but that it wasn't a crippler. We'd be fine by today.
We've got another inch or two tonight and more coming on Tuesday. Not much, maybe 4 inches all in all. The upside is we're guaranteed a white Christmas.
I hope Dan and Stephanie go out and get themselves a snow machine. They're good investments if you're over 35 and live anyplace that gets real snow.
My snow blower is freaking awesome. I shoveled for seven years, but after ending up in the E.R. on the morning of my wedding getting shot up with Morphine and ending up stoned on Vicodin and muscle relaxers for the rest of the day because I blew my back out shoveling, Mona let me get this.
I've got the biggest one on the block. I do my house, 2 others neighbors driveways and the sidewalks for 5 houses. I'm pretty sure all the neighbor ladies think "Wow, what a stud- His wife is so lucky!" when they see me skillfully controlling such a powerful machine.
Oh yeah.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
The Interview
I had hoped for some more feedback on the previous post, but since there was praise from the master I'll deal.
As near as I can tell this started with Evil Twins Wife. These questions were submitted by Alex.
1. You have just made a huge career change. What got you interested in nursing?
I don't know if interested is the right word. Nursing kind of fell into place. In late 2006 I could see the handwriting on the wall at my current job. The wireless industry is becoming more and more commoditized and Michigan has had a shrinking economy for a while now. Mona and I knew that I was not in a long term job.
We thought about relocating and me staying in sales. I also started thinking about other fields, since sales can be a tough gig sometimes. A friend who was in hospital administration told me 6 or more years ago that I should go to Nursing school. My Mom used to tell me that if I wanted to quit my job and go to school to become a speech therapist that I could move back home while I was in school. I leaned heavily towards becoming a dentist.
Before this job I was in the dental industry. I spent 5 years calling on 26 of the most prestigious universities in the world, mostly in their Endodontic (root canal) clinics. I got to know some incredibly smart and in some cases famous (one guy is mentioned in Finding Nemo) dentists. And because I was so fascinated by the field I learned a lot. I used to sit in on post-doctoral seminars just for fun. 90% ore more of it was over my head, but what I did pick up helped me to have conversations at a near peer level with a lot of the residents and department chairs.
I have lots of stories about some of the people I met, and I have a great deal of respect for them and what they do. One in particular is Dr. E. He runs a program in another state and I called him when I was considering going to dental school. He and I talked and he gave me some advice an suggestions. Based on my age and family status dental school was possible, but it would be tough.
Nursing just kept bubbling to the surface. Mona and I saw these accelerated 2nd degree programs and she decided one day to see how long it would take to complete a program, pre-req's included. She worked up a schedule of pre-reqs at the local community colleges and did all the leg work.
Once I saw the plan and after we talked it over, nursing seemed like the best return for the investment of time and money. I expect to end up in administration or sales again, but the sales gig would have to be in the medical device or equipment line and the money would need to be big.
If I can get a masters in health care paid for by the hospital I work for then I might do that. A small part of me things a PhD in Nursing might be cool. And I have heard from some people that if I did that I might be able to get a significant break on tuition for The Peanut if she attends someplace I teach at. That would be helpful too, since I've only approved the Ivy schools, MIT or Stanford for her.
Anyway, once Mona and I talked it over, I registered for a couple of classes and a year and half later (seven months behind the initial time table) here I am.
2. Congratulations! You have won the 10 million dollar jackpot in the lotto! What are your plans for the money?
Is $10 Million enough to have some people whacked and not go to jail? If not I would use it to fund my campaign to become Emperor. I would be Emperor Jorge the Terrible, benevolent despot.
Seriously though, $10 million is enough to get some security, but not enough to join the ranks of the uber-rich.
With that money I'd need to do some stuff. First, get The Peanut into one of the schools mentioned above. Second I'd start looking for businesses to get into. Ideally it would be something that I could do more or less for fun that would also turn a profit. The idea of buying a really, really nice boat, hiring a crew and running it as a live aboard SCUBA charter appeals to me. I'd let it more or less run itself and book a trip a few times a year just to go diving.
I'd also have to use about half a million for go nuts money. My dream has always been to own and fly a P-51D Mustang. I'd have one built while I was learning to fly and spend the time I wasn't diving flying around with the Yankee Airforces B-17 doing airshows around the country. I know, I'm a dork. But in this fantasy I'm a dork with $10 Million in the bank. So there.
I've also promised to hire my best friend, Jefe. Jefe's job will be to be my watch. It would be his job to tell me the time whenever I ask. "What time is it Jefe?" "9:58, Jorge." "Good work, Jefe."
3. What is the last white lie that you told? Why did you tell it?
I kind of danced around the question "When did you check out?" that Ajax asked me today. I just couldn't tell him it was pretty much December 1st.
4. Tell us one odd or interesting thing about yourself that not many people know.
This is a difficult question. Sure there are things that not many people know, but darn few of them are interesting. And the interesting things are the things that most people do know about. And I am a collection of oddities, but I've never taken pains to hide them.
How about this. What if I told you I killed a hippie in the mid seventies and got away with it? Not buying it? What, just because I was born in 1970 doesn't make it impossible. OK, fine. You got me. I've never killed a hippie.
OK, maybe this. I have always felt a little out of place. I am kind of an anachronism. I really feel that I would have fit in well with "The Greatest Generation." I really identify with that cultural ethos. I could see myself enjoying old time comedy on the radio; Bob Hope, Jack Benny, Burns and Allen, Abbott & Costello and all the rest. I wouldn't be at all uncomfortable in suit and tie at a baseball game in the spring or fall. And I love to wear hats. With the exception of the war, I love the whole idea of the 40's, back when men were men and women were glad.
Otherwise how many people know I'm a SCUBA instructor? I've been diving in the following bodies of water: Atlantic Ocean, Pacific Ocean, Gulf of Mexico, the Caribbean, Lake Huron, the St. Clair River, the Niagara River (above the Falls, thank you) White Star Quarry, Portage Quarry, the Detroit River (one of the few civilians to do this legally from the US side) Spring Mill Pond (for fresh water jellyfish) a lake who's name I don't recall and one rather large aquarium.
5. What was your worst customer service experience? (This can be a restaurant, store, etc.) What did you do about it?
Oh I don't know. I've had a few and I generally do something about it. The one that still makes me laugh was at a TGI Friday's in Rochester, NY. I went in there for dinner and the place was dead. I was seated and then ignored. Luckily I had a newspaper with me, so I read for 30 minutes. After that I took one of those little plastic stands with the drink special cards in it and tapped it a few times on the brass rail by my table.
When the server showed up I invited him to sit down. Then I told him that since he kept me waiting for a half an hour that I would keep him waiting for half an hour. I gave him the sections of the paper that I was done with and we sat together and read for a while.
He tried to get me to order a couple of times and I just told him that it hadn't been 30 minutes yet. Some of his friends walked by and laughed at him. The manager may or may not have come by. We waited 30 minutes and when we were done I placed my order.
My suspicion is that my food got spit on, but I was ammused and what are you gonna do? I still left him a 20% or so tip.
So that's it. It is supposed to be a chain thing, so just comment "interview me" and I will e-mail you questions for your blog. Please leave your email address if I don't have.
As near as I can tell this started with Evil Twins Wife. These questions were submitted by Alex.
1. You have just made a huge career change. What got you interested in nursing?
I don't know if interested is the right word. Nursing kind of fell into place. In late 2006 I could see the handwriting on the wall at my current job. The wireless industry is becoming more and more commoditized and Michigan has had a shrinking economy for a while now. Mona and I knew that I was not in a long term job.
We thought about relocating and me staying in sales. I also started thinking about other fields, since sales can be a tough gig sometimes. A friend who was in hospital administration told me 6 or more years ago that I should go to Nursing school. My Mom used to tell me that if I wanted to quit my job and go to school to become a speech therapist that I could move back home while I was in school. I leaned heavily towards becoming a dentist.
Before this job I was in the dental industry. I spent 5 years calling on 26 of the most prestigious universities in the world, mostly in their Endodontic (root canal) clinics. I got to know some incredibly smart and in some cases famous (one guy is mentioned in Finding Nemo) dentists. And because I was so fascinated by the field I learned a lot. I used to sit in on post-doctoral seminars just for fun. 90% ore more of it was over my head, but what I did pick up helped me to have conversations at a near peer level with a lot of the residents and department chairs.
I have lots of stories about some of the people I met, and I have a great deal of respect for them and what they do. One in particular is Dr. E. He runs a program in another state and I called him when I was considering going to dental school. He and I talked and he gave me some advice an suggestions. Based on my age and family status dental school was possible, but it would be tough.
Nursing just kept bubbling to the surface. Mona and I saw these accelerated 2nd degree programs and she decided one day to see how long it would take to complete a program, pre-req's included. She worked up a schedule of pre-reqs at the local community colleges and did all the leg work.
Once I saw the plan and after we talked it over, nursing seemed like the best return for the investment of time and money. I expect to end up in administration or sales again, but the sales gig would have to be in the medical device or equipment line and the money would need to be big.
If I can get a masters in health care paid for by the hospital I work for then I might do that. A small part of me things a PhD in Nursing might be cool. And I have heard from some people that if I did that I might be able to get a significant break on tuition for The Peanut if she attends someplace I teach at. That would be helpful too, since I've only approved the Ivy schools, MIT or Stanford for her.
Anyway, once Mona and I talked it over, I registered for a couple of classes and a year and half later (seven months behind the initial time table) here I am.
2. Congratulations! You have won the 10 million dollar jackpot in the lotto! What are your plans for the money?
Is $10 Million enough to have some people whacked and not go to jail? If not I would use it to fund my campaign to become Emperor. I would be Emperor Jorge the Terrible, benevolent despot.
Seriously though, $10 million is enough to get some security, but not enough to join the ranks of the uber-rich.
With that money I'd need to do some stuff. First, get The Peanut into one of the schools mentioned above. Second I'd start looking for businesses to get into. Ideally it would be something that I could do more or less for fun that would also turn a profit. The idea of buying a really, really nice boat, hiring a crew and running it as a live aboard SCUBA charter appeals to me. I'd let it more or less run itself and book a trip a few times a year just to go diving.
I'd also have to use about half a million for go nuts money. My dream has always been to own and fly a P-51D Mustang. I'd have one built while I was learning to fly and spend the time I wasn't diving flying around with the Yankee Airforces B-17 doing airshows around the country. I know, I'm a dork. But in this fantasy I'm a dork with $10 Million in the bank. So there.
I've also promised to hire my best friend, Jefe. Jefe's job will be to be my watch. It would be his job to tell me the time whenever I ask. "What time is it Jefe?" "9:58, Jorge." "Good work, Jefe."
3. What is the last white lie that you told? Why did you tell it?
I kind of danced around the question "When did you check out?" that Ajax asked me today. I just couldn't tell him it was pretty much December 1st.
4. Tell us one odd or interesting thing about yourself that not many people know.
This is a difficult question. Sure there are things that not many people know, but darn few of them are interesting. And the interesting things are the things that most people do know about. And I am a collection of oddities, but I've never taken pains to hide them.
How about this. What if I told you I killed a hippie in the mid seventies and got away with it? Not buying it? What, just because I was born in 1970 doesn't make it impossible. OK, fine. You got me. I've never killed a hippie.
OK, maybe this. I have always felt a little out of place. I am kind of an anachronism. I really feel that I would have fit in well with "The Greatest Generation." I really identify with that cultural ethos. I could see myself enjoying old time comedy on the radio; Bob Hope, Jack Benny, Burns and Allen, Abbott & Costello and all the rest. I wouldn't be at all uncomfortable in suit and tie at a baseball game in the spring or fall. And I love to wear hats. With the exception of the war, I love the whole idea of the 40's, back when men were men and women were glad.
Otherwise how many people know I'm a SCUBA instructor? I've been diving in the following bodies of water: Atlantic Ocean, Pacific Ocean, Gulf of Mexico, the Caribbean, Lake Huron, the St. Clair River, the Niagara River (above the Falls, thank you) White Star Quarry, Portage Quarry, the Detroit River (one of the few civilians to do this legally from the US side) Spring Mill Pond (for fresh water jellyfish) a lake who's name I don't recall and one rather large aquarium.
5. What was your worst customer service experience? (This can be a restaurant, store, etc.) What did you do about it?
Oh I don't know. I've had a few and I generally do something about it. The one that still makes me laugh was at a TGI Friday's in Rochester, NY. I went in there for dinner and the place was dead. I was seated and then ignored. Luckily I had a newspaper with me, so I read for 30 minutes. After that I took one of those little plastic stands with the drink special cards in it and tapped it a few times on the brass rail by my table.
When the server showed up I invited him to sit down. Then I told him that since he kept me waiting for a half an hour that I would keep him waiting for half an hour. I gave him the sections of the paper that I was done with and we sat together and read for a while.
He tried to get me to order a couple of times and I just told him that it hadn't been 30 minutes yet. Some of his friends walked by and laughed at him. The manager may or may not have come by. We waited 30 minutes and when we were done I placed my order.
My suspicion is that my food got spit on, but I was ammused and what are you gonna do? I still left him a 20% or so tip.
So that's it. It is supposed to be a chain thing, so just comment "interview me" and I will e-mail you questions for your blog. Please leave your email address if I don't have.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Christmas memories and a new tradition
I have been planning to write this up and post if for a year now. I am also announcing that this post will be republished every year. You are now participating in the birth of a tradition.
Both of my parents were/are totally nuts. Not usually bad (although Big Lou had a temper and Mom could handle herself in a fight) but funny, and, if you were their kid, often embarrassing to some degree.
Everything I am about to tell you is true. I witnessed it first hand.
In December of 1993 my father, Big Lou, worked for an auto company which has recently requested a line of credit through the government.
One of his friends was given some tickets to the Kenny Rogers Christmas Spectacular which was playing at the Fox Theater in downtown Detroit. Three of those tickets found their way to Big Lou.
So I put the folks in my car and we went downtown to see the show. When we got there it turned out that we had front row seats. Big Lou sat on the left-hand end of the row, then Mom and then me.
The opening act was Shelby Lynne, who, despite having a Sinead O’Conner haircut was pretty cute and very enjoyable.
When the curtains opened up to start the main act the music started and out comes Kenny Rogers. He’s carrying a bunch of tambourines and he starts tossing them into the crowd.
My mother suddenly turned into Arnold Horshack, waving her arms in the air, bouncing half out of her seat and yelling Oooo! Oooo! Kenny (I call him Kenny) sees her, and sensing her desperation tosses Mom a Tambourine and goes on with his opening number.
Then he talks to the crowd a bit and tells the lucky few Tambourinists how and when to provide accompaniment and goes on with the show. He does a song or two and then stops. The house lights come up and Kenny starts to talk again.
He tells the audience how much he likes to watch the crowd as he performs. He can always tell who his fans are when he sees them singing along to every song in his repertoire. And he can also spot people who have been dragged in against their will. “People like this guy” he says, pointing to my Father.
The subsequent conversation went something like this:
Kenny: What’s you name?
Big Lou: Lou!
Kenny: Lou, tell me the truth now, you won’t hurt my feelings. Would you say you’re a big fan and you know all my songs, kind of a fan and you know some of the songs, or not a fan at all?
Big Lou: Kind of a fan.
Kenny: Kind of a fan. OK, Lou. Prove it. I’ll tell you what. For every one of my songs that you can name, I’ll give you $10.
Naturally, Big Lou freezes like a skinny dipping Inuit. Mom and I start trying to feed him answers. “The Gambler, Ruby, Lucile, Coward of the County...”
But we get shushed by Kenny. “No helping” he says.
Big Lou: The Gambler
Kenny: The Gambler. (Sighs and rolls his eyes) Fine. Here you go.
And he tosses Big Lou a ten spot!
But now Big Lou is out of answers and Mom and I are just dying because this is freaking great.
So Kenny say’s “Tell you what Lou. Every time you hear one of my songs you know just raise your hand and I’ll give you $10. But you have to be honest. I trust you.”
Big Lou: OK!
So the band starts up again and here we go with Coward of the County. After the first few bars up goes Big Lou’s hand and Kenny stroll over to the corner of the stage. Without stopping the song he tosses Lou another $10. He does two more songs and the same thing happens. So now Big Lou is up $40 on the free tickets he got.
The band starts up again and within a few notes his hand shoots up. He’s not going to miss any of this free money. Kenny starts singing Happy Birthday and Big Lou gets busted. But we all laugh, a fifth song starts up and bam, another $10 for Lou.
So now Kenny stops to talk again. He says that now is the time in the show where he asks for volunteers from the audience. He says that there are some rules. If you get picked you have to come up and you can’t volunteer anyone else. But he can.
Kenny: Lou, you have $50 of my money. Come on up here.
So up goes Big Lou and Kenny shows him where to stand. Then he asks for more volunteers.
Again, Mom goes into her Ron Palilo routine and again, sensing her need, Kenny points to Mom and up she goes. Ten more people get picked and they all form a line on stage with Big Lou at the far end of stage left and Mom right next to him.
Meanwhile I’m loving every minute of this, it’s a riot.
Now Kenny grabs a stack of what look like 8x10 pieces of poster board and hands one to each of the people on stage. He announces that they’re all going to sing The 12 Days of Christmas. Each person will sing the line on the card while Kenny sings the rest of the lyrics.
The music starts up and Kenny sings “On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me…”
Dads up first and even though he’s really a Baritone he’s always thought he was a Bass. In whatever the opposite of a falsetto is, he croaks out “…a partridge in a pear tree”.
Kenny stops.
The music stops.
Without a word he takes my father by the arm and moves him to the other end of the line, takes the last guys card and gives it to Big Lou and gives Big Lou’s card to the guy on the end. That guy gets moved up to the front to stand next to my Mom.
It’s a good crowd and they’re all laughing like hell and applauding. Big Lou is laughing along too. I’m in there in the front row and I must have been laughing harder than anyone else.
The music starts up again and Kenny sings “On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me…”
Now it’s Mom’s turn. She used to sing in the church choir. She sings “… a partridge in a pear tree.”
Kenny is shocked.
The music stops and he tries to tell her it’s two turtle doves but Mom isn’t having it! She starts arguing with the man on stage in front of a packed house! She knows the words, and it’s a partridge in a pear tree! He finally points to the card in her hand and eventually it sinks in. Vintage Mom. It was absolutely perfect!
The audience is howling and I am sprawled across all three of our seats, laughing hysterically, and hoping that if I do actually die laughing that someone will resuscitate me fast enough to see the rest of the show.
They try it again and this time Mom comes through.
Finally it’s Big Lou’s turn again, the crowd applauds, the song ends and my parents and the other 10 people on stage all shake Kennys hand and return to their seats.
Kenny does a few more songs, Shelby Lynn comes out and they sing a duet and then the show ends.
As we leave the theater people are calling out to my Dad and he’s waving back, loving the attention “yeah, I got $50” he tells people who ask. I just walk along with Mom and Big Lou, smiling and bemused.
That is probably my favorite Christmas memory. If I ever get the chance to meet Kenny Rogers I fully intend to thank him for the great time, the great show and the great memory.
If you live in a place where he puts on a Christmas show, go see it. Even if you don’t end up in the front row I expect you’ll still enjoy it.
Now please, share a fun and funny holiday memory of your own.
Merry Christmas.
Both of my parents were/are totally nuts. Not usually bad (although Big Lou had a temper and Mom could handle herself in a fight) but funny, and, if you were their kid, often embarrassing to some degree.
Everything I am about to tell you is true. I witnessed it first hand.
In December of 1993 my father, Big Lou, worked for an auto company which has recently requested a line of credit through the government.
One of his friends was given some tickets to the Kenny Rogers Christmas Spectacular which was playing at the Fox Theater in downtown Detroit. Three of those tickets found their way to Big Lou.
So I put the folks in my car and we went downtown to see the show. When we got there it turned out that we had front row seats. Big Lou sat on the left-hand end of the row, then Mom and then me.
The opening act was Shelby Lynne, who, despite having a Sinead O’Conner haircut was pretty cute and very enjoyable.
When the curtains opened up to start the main act the music started and out comes Kenny Rogers. He’s carrying a bunch of tambourines and he starts tossing them into the crowd.
My mother suddenly turned into Arnold Horshack, waving her arms in the air, bouncing half out of her seat and yelling Oooo! Oooo! Kenny (I call him Kenny) sees her, and sensing her desperation tosses Mom a Tambourine and goes on with his opening number.
Then he talks to the crowd a bit and tells the lucky few Tambourinists how and when to provide accompaniment and goes on with the show. He does a song or two and then stops. The house lights come up and Kenny starts to talk again.
He tells the audience how much he likes to watch the crowd as he performs. He can always tell who his fans are when he sees them singing along to every song in his repertoire. And he can also spot people who have been dragged in against their will. “People like this guy” he says, pointing to my Father.
The subsequent conversation went something like this:
Kenny: What’s you name?
Big Lou: Lou!
Kenny: Lou, tell me the truth now, you won’t hurt my feelings. Would you say you’re a big fan and you know all my songs, kind of a fan and you know some of the songs, or not a fan at all?
Big Lou: Kind of a fan.
Kenny: Kind of a fan. OK, Lou. Prove it. I’ll tell you what. For every one of my songs that you can name, I’ll give you $10.
Naturally, Big Lou freezes like a skinny dipping Inuit. Mom and I start trying to feed him answers. “The Gambler, Ruby, Lucile, Coward of the County...”
But we get shushed by Kenny. “No helping” he says.
Big Lou: The Gambler
Kenny: The Gambler. (Sighs and rolls his eyes) Fine. Here you go.
And he tosses Big Lou a ten spot!
But now Big Lou is out of answers and Mom and I are just dying because this is freaking great.
So Kenny say’s “Tell you what Lou. Every time you hear one of my songs you know just raise your hand and I’ll give you $10. But you have to be honest. I trust you.”
Big Lou: OK!
So the band starts up again and here we go with Coward of the County. After the first few bars up goes Big Lou’s hand and Kenny stroll over to the corner of the stage. Without stopping the song he tosses Lou another $10. He does two more songs and the same thing happens. So now Big Lou is up $40 on the free tickets he got.
The band starts up again and within a few notes his hand shoots up. He’s not going to miss any of this free money. Kenny starts singing Happy Birthday and Big Lou gets busted. But we all laugh, a fifth song starts up and bam, another $10 for Lou.
So now Kenny stops to talk again. He says that now is the time in the show where he asks for volunteers from the audience. He says that there are some rules. If you get picked you have to come up and you can’t volunteer anyone else. But he can.
Kenny: Lou, you have $50 of my money. Come on up here.
So up goes Big Lou and Kenny shows him where to stand. Then he asks for more volunteers.
Again, Mom goes into her Ron Palilo routine and again, sensing her need, Kenny points to Mom and up she goes. Ten more people get picked and they all form a line on stage with Big Lou at the far end of stage left and Mom right next to him.
Meanwhile I’m loving every minute of this, it’s a riot.
Now Kenny grabs a stack of what look like 8x10 pieces of poster board and hands one to each of the people on stage. He announces that they’re all going to sing The 12 Days of Christmas. Each person will sing the line on the card while Kenny sings the rest of the lyrics.
The music starts up and Kenny sings “On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me…”
Dads up first and even though he’s really a Baritone he’s always thought he was a Bass. In whatever the opposite of a falsetto is, he croaks out “…a partridge in a pear tree”.
Kenny stops.
The music stops.
Without a word he takes my father by the arm and moves him to the other end of the line, takes the last guys card and gives it to Big Lou and gives Big Lou’s card to the guy on the end. That guy gets moved up to the front to stand next to my Mom.
It’s a good crowd and they’re all laughing like hell and applauding. Big Lou is laughing along too. I’m in there in the front row and I must have been laughing harder than anyone else.
The music starts up again and Kenny sings “On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me…”
Now it’s Mom’s turn. She used to sing in the church choir. She sings “… a partridge in a pear tree.”
Kenny is shocked.
The music stops and he tries to tell her it’s two turtle doves but Mom isn’t having it! She starts arguing with the man on stage in front of a packed house! She knows the words, and it’s a partridge in a pear tree! He finally points to the card in her hand and eventually it sinks in. Vintage Mom. It was absolutely perfect!
The audience is howling and I am sprawled across all three of our seats, laughing hysterically, and hoping that if I do actually die laughing that someone will resuscitate me fast enough to see the rest of the show.
They try it again and this time Mom comes through.
Finally it’s Big Lou’s turn again, the crowd applauds, the song ends and my parents and the other 10 people on stage all shake Kennys hand and return to their seats.
Kenny does a few more songs, Shelby Lynn comes out and they sing a duet and then the show ends.
As we leave the theater people are calling out to my Dad and he’s waving back, loving the attention “yeah, I got $50” he tells people who ask. I just walk along with Mom and Big Lou, smiling and bemused.
That is probably my favorite Christmas memory. If I ever get the chance to meet Kenny Rogers I fully intend to thank him for the great time, the great show and the great memory.
If you live in a place where he puts on a Christmas show, go see it. Even if you don’t end up in the front row I expect you’ll still enjoy it.
Now please, share a fun and funny holiday memory of your own.
Merry Christmas.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
News Notes
This will be a quick one.
Mona did not get the job. We knew going in that she was an underdog, mostly because she just got past her 6 month anniversary. The person who did get hired has been there a few years and had been a supervisor for a time before taking a step down.
When you have an experienced candidate like that it's hard to reasonably promote the newbie, and Mona understands that. But we think that she did a good job with the interview and and got a little more visibility in the department, so we're not too dissapointed.
As soon as she called and told me I pulled Ajax aside and give him my notice. His first question: "Was it something I did?" We had a talk and I told him the whole story and that I knew this was coming for 2 years. And I also told him that I really felt bad about having to quit on him especially. His second question was "Are you still coming to my Christmas party?" How can you not like a guy like that?
Then he told me that he's concerned about how he'll do in the future too. For the last 2 years as a manager he as been at 100% or better in terms of his quotas and targets. This year he's worked harder and is at 78%. Then he told me in confidence that he applied for a recently announced buyout. He knows that Napoloeon dislikes him too (they're opposites in almost every way imaginable) but even so Nappie convinced him to withdraw his application.
But now Ajax is going back to school for a Masters in something that he really likes with an eye on doing something that he's passionate about long term. And I really hope he does it.
He asked me to try and stay focused, get my loose ends tied up and wished me luck.
Mona did not get the job. We knew going in that she was an underdog, mostly because she just got past her 6 month anniversary. The person who did get hired has been there a few years and had been a supervisor for a time before taking a step down.
When you have an experienced candidate like that it's hard to reasonably promote the newbie, and Mona understands that. But we think that she did a good job with the interview and and got a little more visibility in the department, so we're not too dissapointed.
As soon as she called and told me I pulled Ajax aside and give him my notice. His first question: "Was it something I did?" We had a talk and I told him the whole story and that I knew this was coming for 2 years. And I also told him that I really felt bad about having to quit on him especially. His second question was "Are you still coming to my Christmas party?" How can you not like a guy like that?
Then he told me that he's concerned about how he'll do in the future too. For the last 2 years as a manager he as been at 100% or better in terms of his quotas and targets. This year he's worked harder and is at 78%. Then he told me in confidence that he applied for a recently announced buyout. He knows that Napoloeon dislikes him too (they're opposites in almost every way imaginable) but even so Nappie convinced him to withdraw his application.
But now Ajax is going back to school for a Masters in something that he really likes with an eye on doing something that he's passionate about long term. And I really hope he does it.
He asked me to try and stay focused, get my loose ends tied up and wished me luck.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get me.
You might want to get comfortable, this one turned out a lot longer than I thought it would.
Mona had her interview yesterday and said it went well. She was in there for an hour and twenty minutes, whereas all the other candidates took about 40 minutes. She said both the guys interviewing her said it was a good interview.
She interviews very well, and she has a few techniques that seem to work for getting interviewers to think positively about her. When they ask “Do you have any questions for us?” she always has a couple prepared in advance. Her last question, in my opinion, is sheer genius. She asks “How do you see me fitting into this position?” It makes the interviewer imagine her doing the job and basic etiquette almost demands that they say something positive. And if you leave someone thinking about you in that job, you’re probably ahead of the game. It’s an awesome psychological tactic.
The decision will be made by Monday at the latest. We’re hopeful.
Also, yesterday was Mona’s birthday. We’ve been getting the Hammacher Schlemer catalog for a while now (I have no idea how we go on that mailing list) and she saw something that she really wanted. And when I say wanted what I mean is that she told me in terms that were just this of a demand that she wanted this thing. It’s called a jewelry armoire. It’s basically a wall mounted cabinet about four feet by one and a half feet that lets her hang and organize her jewelry. Of course it’s ridiculously expensive in the catalog, but there are deals if you’re willing to do a little internet browsing.
So I found one that I though she would like, had it shipped to our office and get it home secretly yesterday afternoon. My plan was to leave a little early, go home, and mount the armoire where she told me she wanted it.
I was delayed at the office and further delayed picking up The Peanut from daycare and buying cards and a cake. I was concerned I was going to run out of time, so I called Mona’s boss and asked him if he would do me a favor and delay her for a little while so that I could get everything setup. He held her up an extra 20 minutes and that was all the time I needed.
I got it mounted, cleaned up the mess I made, put my tools away, got rid of the box, changed a stinky diaper, hid the cake, signed the cards, cleaned the glass (the door is mirrored), got the mail, and put some of her jewelry in there just to show it off all before she came home.
She was very pleased and spent some time before we went to dinner moving her jewelry out of her jewelry box and out of some of the various boxes from stores that she has and into the armoire.
So Mona had a pretty good birthday.
Now, onto the bit about paranoia.
I’ve been working in this job since August of 2003. Since sometime in 2004 I have gotten the feeling that my bosses boss, our director, disliked me.
It was never overt, but there was always something of a coldness towards me that I didn’t see him have toward other reps. And then there were the occasional comments from my manager (I’ve had 4 in the last 5 years) that the director (let’s call him Napoleon) had asked about me in ways that made it seem like he wanted to know what I had screwed up lately.
I’d taken him on sales call with me that I felt went well. One in particular stands out in my mind. I had had good conversations with my customers, asked really on the nose questions that got responses like “That’s exactly what my people are asking for!” while he remained silent. After we left he and I talked and I had to explain some of the technology stuff to him, stuff like what a router was for. I also had an engineer with us who was there to gave a very technical presentation. I am very solid with the technology, probably one of the top few in terms of my peers, but I’m not an engineer.
When I got back to the office I asked my boss if Napoleon had given him any feedback. My boss told me that old Boney thought that I should have been able to do the technical stuff instead of bringing out an engineer. Grrrr.
I’ve also been on calls where I’ve taken his boss, an area VP who has authority for all of the company’s business in a third of the US. And I’ve overheard her telling Napoleon that I did a great job on the call (she didn’t know I was listening).
There are other examples of situations where I think I sense his dislike, but who knows, right? Maybe I am just paranoid.
However...
There’s one guy that I work with who knows I am planning to leave. He’s a friend and kind of a mentor and I learn a lot when we talk. He’s also a peer, but he works for a different boss and covers a different type of customer than I do, so we don’t really have a reason to interact on a professional basis. I bumped into him in the hall yesterday and we ducked into a conference room for a few minutes to chat.
We talked about my upcoming resignation, Mona’s interview, and his concerns for our struggling company as well as his plans for the future. We also talked about his wife’s job security as an elementary school principal and his daughters upcoming wedding.
While we were talking Napoleon walked by a couple of times and saw us talking.
Later in the day I had a meeting scheduled with my boss. It’s a standard thing we do here, the bosses sit down and just kind of get updated about what we’re doing and what help we need, if any. It’s called a one on one meeting.
When I sat down with my boss, lets call him Ajax, he told me that he had been chewed out by Napoleon earlier in the day. Ajax had been on customer appointments on Tuesday and then did a bunch of one on one meetings with some of my teammates who work out of our office in Lansing, about 80 miles from here. Yesterday Ajax was working at home while his family was out. He stayed home to get some peace and quiet to while he got caught up from a day on the raod.
Napoleon called and asked him where he was and what he was doing. Then Nappy pointed out that my performance has been subpar in some areas this year and how exactly did I have time to chat with a friend when I should be selling stuff.
Ajax pointed out that he can’t be everywhere at once and that some of Napoleons stats were wrong, but it fell on deaf ears. Then Napoleon told Ajax that if he sees me BS’ing like that again that I’ll be filing for unemployment.
The first question I asked was if it was me who was going to be fired or if it was me and my friend. The answer was it would just be me. In my fantasy world I love to be fired to talking. I’d leave quietly and then calmly drive to my attorney’s office thinking about how much I could get in a wrongful termination suit. But I know that Napoleon is smarter than that. He’d just micromanage me out of the organization by either making me so miserable that I quit or until he’d built a case that was strong enough to allow him to fire me according to policy.
If it wasn’t for the fact that Mona is waiting to hear about her interview I would have just quit on the spot. But now I have to hold out until we know whether or not she gets the job. Her relationship with the company is much more important than mine at this point.
But the whole thing pissed Ajax off. He’s now going to not change my probationary status (it could be advanced further) just to spit in Napoleons eye. I told him that it was OK with me if he needed to sacrifice me in order to make his life easier (Napoleon doesn’t seem to like him much either), but he won’t do that. He’s a good manager and he looks out for his people. If only I could have told him my plans then.
I’m going to quit next week for sure. Based on yesterday’s events I am pretty sure they’re going to decline my two weeks notice and walk me out. I’m thinking about asking Ajax if he wants to put on a show for Nappy, micromanaging me, sending me “serious” emails and hinting at how my job is in jeopardy if I fail to perform. Then at the end of a week or so of that I will just throw up my hands and quit, saying I’ve had enough. I’d do it if it gives Ajax a little break from Napoleon.
What do you think? Should I make that offer or just execute the plan that’s already in place?
And last, do you have any good stories about quitting jobs?
Mona had her interview yesterday and said it went well. She was in there for an hour and twenty minutes, whereas all the other candidates took about 40 minutes. She said both the guys interviewing her said it was a good interview.
She interviews very well, and she has a few techniques that seem to work for getting interviewers to think positively about her. When they ask “Do you have any questions for us?” she always has a couple prepared in advance. Her last question, in my opinion, is sheer genius. She asks “How do you see me fitting into this position?” It makes the interviewer imagine her doing the job and basic etiquette almost demands that they say something positive. And if you leave someone thinking about you in that job, you’re probably ahead of the game. It’s an awesome psychological tactic.
The decision will be made by Monday at the latest. We’re hopeful.
Also, yesterday was Mona’s birthday. We’ve been getting the Hammacher Schlemer catalog for a while now (I have no idea how we go on that mailing list) and she saw something that she really wanted. And when I say wanted what I mean is that she told me in terms that were just this of a demand that she wanted this thing. It’s called a jewelry armoire. It’s basically a wall mounted cabinet about four feet by one and a half feet that lets her hang and organize her jewelry. Of course it’s ridiculously expensive in the catalog, but there are deals if you’re willing to do a little internet browsing.
So I found one that I though she would like, had it shipped to our office and get it home secretly yesterday afternoon. My plan was to leave a little early, go home, and mount the armoire where she told me she wanted it.
I was delayed at the office and further delayed picking up The Peanut from daycare and buying cards and a cake. I was concerned I was going to run out of time, so I called Mona’s boss and asked him if he would do me a favor and delay her for a little while so that I could get everything setup. He held her up an extra 20 minutes and that was all the time I needed.
I got it mounted, cleaned up the mess I made, put my tools away, got rid of the box, changed a stinky diaper, hid the cake, signed the cards, cleaned the glass (the door is mirrored), got the mail, and put some of her jewelry in there just to show it off all before she came home.
She was very pleased and spent some time before we went to dinner moving her jewelry out of her jewelry box and out of some of the various boxes from stores that she has and into the armoire.
So Mona had a pretty good birthday.
Now, onto the bit about paranoia.
I’ve been working in this job since August of 2003. Since sometime in 2004 I have gotten the feeling that my bosses boss, our director, disliked me.
It was never overt, but there was always something of a coldness towards me that I didn’t see him have toward other reps. And then there were the occasional comments from my manager (I’ve had 4 in the last 5 years) that the director (let’s call him Napoleon) had asked about me in ways that made it seem like he wanted to know what I had screwed up lately.
I’d taken him on sales call with me that I felt went well. One in particular stands out in my mind. I had had good conversations with my customers, asked really on the nose questions that got responses like “That’s exactly what my people are asking for!” while he remained silent. After we left he and I talked and I had to explain some of the technology stuff to him, stuff like what a router was for. I also had an engineer with us who was there to gave a very technical presentation. I am very solid with the technology, probably one of the top few in terms of my peers, but I’m not an engineer.
When I got back to the office I asked my boss if Napoleon had given him any feedback. My boss told me that old Boney thought that I should have been able to do the technical stuff instead of bringing out an engineer. Grrrr.
I’ve also been on calls where I’ve taken his boss, an area VP who has authority for all of the company’s business in a third of the US. And I’ve overheard her telling Napoleon that I did a great job on the call (she didn’t know I was listening).
There are other examples of situations where I think I sense his dislike, but who knows, right? Maybe I am just paranoid.
However...
There’s one guy that I work with who knows I am planning to leave. He’s a friend and kind of a mentor and I learn a lot when we talk. He’s also a peer, but he works for a different boss and covers a different type of customer than I do, so we don’t really have a reason to interact on a professional basis. I bumped into him in the hall yesterday and we ducked into a conference room for a few minutes to chat.
We talked about my upcoming resignation, Mona’s interview, and his concerns for our struggling company as well as his plans for the future. We also talked about his wife’s job security as an elementary school principal and his daughters upcoming wedding.
While we were talking Napoleon walked by a couple of times and saw us talking.
Later in the day I had a meeting scheduled with my boss. It’s a standard thing we do here, the bosses sit down and just kind of get updated about what we’re doing and what help we need, if any. It’s called a one on one meeting.
When I sat down with my boss, lets call him Ajax, he told me that he had been chewed out by Napoleon earlier in the day. Ajax had been on customer appointments on Tuesday and then did a bunch of one on one meetings with some of my teammates who work out of our office in Lansing, about 80 miles from here. Yesterday Ajax was working at home while his family was out. He stayed home to get some peace and quiet to while he got caught up from a day on the raod.
Napoleon called and asked him where he was and what he was doing. Then Nappy pointed out that my performance has been subpar in some areas this year and how exactly did I have time to chat with a friend when I should be selling stuff.
Ajax pointed out that he can’t be everywhere at once and that some of Napoleons stats were wrong, but it fell on deaf ears. Then Napoleon told Ajax that if he sees me BS’ing like that again that I’ll be filing for unemployment.
The first question I asked was if it was me who was going to be fired or if it was me and my friend. The answer was it would just be me. In my fantasy world I love to be fired to talking. I’d leave quietly and then calmly drive to my attorney’s office thinking about how much I could get in a wrongful termination suit. But I know that Napoleon is smarter than that. He’d just micromanage me out of the organization by either making me so miserable that I quit or until he’d built a case that was strong enough to allow him to fire me according to policy.
If it wasn’t for the fact that Mona is waiting to hear about her interview I would have just quit on the spot. But now I have to hold out until we know whether or not she gets the job. Her relationship with the company is much more important than mine at this point.
But the whole thing pissed Ajax off. He’s now going to not change my probationary status (it could be advanced further) just to spit in Napoleons eye. I told him that it was OK with me if he needed to sacrifice me in order to make his life easier (Napoleon doesn’t seem to like him much either), but he won’t do that. He’s a good manager and he looks out for his people. If only I could have told him my plans then.
I’m going to quit next week for sure. Based on yesterday’s events I am pretty sure they’re going to decline my two weeks notice and walk me out. I’m thinking about asking Ajax if he wants to put on a show for Nappy, micromanaging me, sending me “serious” emails and hinting at how my job is in jeopardy if I fail to perform. Then at the end of a week or so of that I will just throw up my hands and quit, saying I’ve had enough. I’d do it if it gives Ajax a little break from Napoleon.
What do you think? Should I make that offer or just execute the plan that’s already in place?
And last, do you have any good stories about quitting jobs?
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
The Final Turn
Thirteen more working days as of this writing. I really feel like I quit sometime around yesterday morning. December is my last month and the pressure is off. I don't have to hit a quota, I don't have to go looking for more business, I just need to wait until it's time to leave.
I've been buying my textbooks on line. I ordered 11 of the 13 I need for this semester. Care to guess what that cost? Under $400. I was stunned. I had expected to be into four figures. Amazon rocks.
I've received four of them so far. One last week and three more today. They're not doing anything to keep me focused on cell phones. Part of me wants to start reading them like they're new Christmas presents. The less giddy part keeps reminding me that they're textbooks and I'll get enough of reading them come late January. But I'm still excited.
As much as studying can be a pain in the neck, I really like school. I've been generally good at it, it comes pretty easily and it beats the heck out of working.
Based on the schedule they've sent me it looks like this is going to be like a year of summer school with an average of 19 credits. Some of the classes are 10 weeks long, so I expect they'll be cramming a lot of stuff in as fast as they can.
But ultimately I remind myself that nursing is basically a blue collar job and that you don't have to be a genius to get into nursing. Mom was a nurse and I knew a lot of her friends and they were all just regular people. I've been fortunate to work in post doctoral dentistry, so I know what what geniuses look like (seriously, specialists in dentistry like Orhto, Endo and Perio -dontists are the cream of the crop). And the nurses I know, while good, hardworking and caring are really about as smart as most of the non-nurses I know. And that's why I'm confident I can get through it.
In related news, Mona is interviewing for a lead position on her team on Wednesday. The decision is supposed to be made on Friday. I am actually a selling point for her. I'm her conduit to sales. She has insights that no one else in our office has (likewise I have insight into customer care that most reps don't). It gives her an edge.
She had to fight for the interview since she has only been iwht the company for six months, and did sort of a pre-interview with the hiring manager. Her boss told her she wasn;t qualified, but the hiring manager liked what she had to say and added her to the candidate pool. I'm hoping that means something.
For that reason I won't be actually resigning until Monday at the earliest. Right now her relationship with the company is more important than mine.
It sounds like she might have a decent shot at this job, and the bump in pay would come in handy.
But I can see the finish line pretty clearly now, down at the bottom of an ever steeper, ever shorter, smooth, smooth, hill.
I've been buying my textbooks on line. I ordered 11 of the 13 I need for this semester. Care to guess what that cost? Under $400. I was stunned. I had expected to be into four figures. Amazon rocks.
I've received four of them so far. One last week and three more today. They're not doing anything to keep me focused on cell phones. Part of me wants to start reading them like they're new Christmas presents. The less giddy part keeps reminding me that they're textbooks and I'll get enough of reading them come late January. But I'm still excited.
As much as studying can be a pain in the neck, I really like school. I've been generally good at it, it comes pretty easily and it beats the heck out of working.
Based on the schedule they've sent me it looks like this is going to be like a year of summer school with an average of 19 credits. Some of the classes are 10 weeks long, so I expect they'll be cramming a lot of stuff in as fast as they can.
But ultimately I remind myself that nursing is basically a blue collar job and that you don't have to be a genius to get into nursing. Mom was a nurse and I knew a lot of her friends and they were all just regular people. I've been fortunate to work in post doctoral dentistry, so I know what what geniuses look like (seriously, specialists in dentistry like Orhto, Endo and Perio -dontists are the cream of the crop). And the nurses I know, while good, hardworking and caring are really about as smart as most of the non-nurses I know. And that's why I'm confident I can get through it.
In related news, Mona is interviewing for a lead position on her team on Wednesday. The decision is supposed to be made on Friday. I am actually a selling point for her. I'm her conduit to sales. She has insights that no one else in our office has (likewise I have insight into customer care that most reps don't). It gives her an edge.
She had to fight for the interview since she has only been iwht the company for six months, and did sort of a pre-interview with the hiring manager. Her boss told her she wasn;t qualified, but the hiring manager liked what she had to say and added her to the candidate pool. I'm hoping that means something.
For that reason I won't be actually resigning until Monday at the earliest. Right now her relationship with the company is more important than mine.
It sounds like she might have a decent shot at this job, and the bump in pay would come in handy.
But I can see the finish line pretty clearly now, down at the bottom of an ever steeper, ever shorter, smooth, smooth, hill.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Hosed again
So we have been going back and forth about our Thanksgiving plans.
We were supposed to go to my Mother In Laws house tomorrow but there's some flu going around over there and Mona has canceled. This is the second time we've had a cancelation like this. The first time was Easter two years ago. I managed to get us a last minute invite that time, but this time it looks like we're hosed.
My family does Thanksgiving with all their in-laws and it's too late to weasel an invite to one of those events. My brother is going to his in-laws and that sounds like a nightmare and Mona says they're out.
Next year we're hosting. And I don't care if the house has just burned down, we're not cancelling. As long as the rubble is cool enough to sit on we're doing it.
But for now it looks like no Thanksgiving for us. Mona is OK with staying home but I'm not. A holiday without a lot of family around is just sick and wrong to me.
Shit.
If you need me I'll be over here sulking.
We were supposed to go to my Mother In Laws house tomorrow but there's some flu going around over there and Mona has canceled. This is the second time we've had a cancelation like this. The first time was Easter two years ago. I managed to get us a last minute invite that time, but this time it looks like we're hosed.
My family does Thanksgiving with all their in-laws and it's too late to weasel an invite to one of those events. My brother is going to his in-laws and that sounds like a nightmare and Mona says they're out.
Next year we're hosting. And I don't care if the house has just burned down, we're not cancelling. As long as the rubble is cool enough to sit on we're doing it.
But for now it looks like no Thanksgiving for us. Mona is OK with staying home but I'm not. A holiday without a lot of family around is just sick and wrong to me.
Shit.
If you need me I'll be over here sulking.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Tick Tock
Today was a big day.
I had a mandatory 9 to 4 orientation session at the Nursing school that I’ll be going to beginning January 5th.
There wasn’t a lot to it really. It was a few things about requirements, uniforms, books and schedules along with a fair amount of “It’s going to be really, really hard, so be ready.” We also got a 5 minute tour of the lab.
There are around 40 students in the class and counted 7 or 8 guys. That seems pretty strong to me. At least one was leaving an auto company. Since it took me a year of taking pre-requisite classes with a bunch of other people who were going into nursing to get here I figured I would see some familiar faces. There was one, someone that was in my Organic Chemistry class a year ago, but that was it.
I was surprised to see her because she was set to enter this program last May. Apparently she had some medical issues that pushed her back several months. But I was glad to see someone I knew.
The whole thing wrapped up by 12:30 so I had a lot of time to myself. I went and got my student ID and parking permit and 5 school patches that I have to sew onto my scrubs and lab coat. I’m hoping the student ID will get me into movies cheaper now.
Then I went and bought some scrubs and a lab coat. And I got some new shoes, which Mona thinks look like old man shoes (they’re actually Rockports).
Everything I wear has to be white. No color anywhere. And no shirt under the scrubs. I’m going to look like an extra from M*A*S*H. But what the heck, right?
Taking the day off for school really seems to have gotten into my head. I really feel my time with my current employer coming to an end. I can see myself really starting to coast, and I am going to try and fight it. I want to try to go to the finish line if not strong, then at least under my own power. It’s getting harder. Tomorrow is a work day but I am just not feeling it. And with Thanksgiving next week there’s not going to be a lot to do.
I plan on resigning on December 8th with my last day on the 19th. That means 9 working days before I quit and 19 before I turn in my laptop and ID badge.
I still have some mixed emotions. There’s excitement in starting something new, nervousness about completing the program, mild worry about the effect this will all have at home, and a tiny bit of regret over quitting my job.
I expect it’s all pretty common place, but there it is.
I had a mandatory 9 to 4 orientation session at the Nursing school that I’ll be going to beginning January 5th.
There wasn’t a lot to it really. It was a few things about requirements, uniforms, books and schedules along with a fair amount of “It’s going to be really, really hard, so be ready.” We also got a 5 minute tour of the lab.
There are around 40 students in the class and counted 7 or 8 guys. That seems pretty strong to me. At least one was leaving an auto company. Since it took me a year of taking pre-requisite classes with a bunch of other people who were going into nursing to get here I figured I would see some familiar faces. There was one, someone that was in my Organic Chemistry class a year ago, but that was it.
I was surprised to see her because she was set to enter this program last May. Apparently she had some medical issues that pushed her back several months. But I was glad to see someone I knew.
The whole thing wrapped up by 12:30 so I had a lot of time to myself. I went and got my student ID and parking permit and 5 school patches that I have to sew onto my scrubs and lab coat. I’m hoping the student ID will get me into movies cheaper now.
Then I went and bought some scrubs and a lab coat. And I got some new shoes, which Mona thinks look like old man shoes (they’re actually Rockports).
Everything I wear has to be white. No color anywhere. And no shirt under the scrubs. I’m going to look like an extra from M*A*S*H. But what the heck, right?
Taking the day off for school really seems to have gotten into my head. I really feel my time with my current employer coming to an end. I can see myself really starting to coast, and I am going to try and fight it. I want to try to go to the finish line if not strong, then at least under my own power. It’s getting harder. Tomorrow is a work day but I am just not feeling it. And with Thanksgiving next week there’s not going to be a lot to do.
I plan on resigning on December 8th with my last day on the 19th. That means 9 working days before I quit and 19 before I turn in my laptop and ID badge.
I still have some mixed emotions. There’s excitement in starting something new, nervousness about completing the program, mild worry about the effect this will all have at home, and a tiny bit of regret over quitting my job.
I expect it’s all pretty common place, but there it is.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
I Need Some Advice
I have been meaning to talk about this for a while.
Every week we have a team meeting with all 10 reps and our boss. We just go over all the stuff that’s going on and sort of make sure we’re all on the same page.
The last item on the agenda is always “Best Practices”. We go around the room and each of the reps comes up with a tip for the week or talks about something that works for them.
As class clown I have to be different.
My boss has required that I come up with something legitimate at every meeting, but I also come up with some bit of weird advice. Most of my jokes are stolen, but I’m running out now.
I’ve used things like:
Never bet you can fit your head inside a glove compartment.
If a bar has human ears nailed to the walls, don’t pass out there.
Never fry bacon without a shirt on.
Never trust a gay fortune teller with the palm of your hand.
Don’t play strip poker in a nursing home.
When drinking never offer to prove that your shoes are fire proof.
Never throw a brick straight up.
Never ask a hitchhiker to babysit.
Never let a bald man borrow your comb.
Don’t get romantically involved with farm equipment.
Never give alcohol to a Monkey.
There’s more but you get the idea.
I’ve only got 3 or 4 more of these meetings left, but I’m running out of material.
So I need some advice. What other kinds of things should one never do nor attempt?
Every week we have a team meeting with all 10 reps and our boss. We just go over all the stuff that’s going on and sort of make sure we’re all on the same page.
The last item on the agenda is always “Best Practices”. We go around the room and each of the reps comes up with a tip for the week or talks about something that works for them.
As class clown I have to be different.
My boss has required that I come up with something legitimate at every meeting, but I also come up with some bit of weird advice. Most of my jokes are stolen, but I’m running out now.
I’ve used things like:
Never bet you can fit your head inside a glove compartment.
If a bar has human ears nailed to the walls, don’t pass out there.
Never fry bacon without a shirt on.
Never trust a gay fortune teller with the palm of your hand.
Don’t play strip poker in a nursing home.
When drinking never offer to prove that your shoes are fire proof.
Never throw a brick straight up.
Never ask a hitchhiker to babysit.
Never let a bald man borrow your comb.
Don’t get romantically involved with farm equipment.
Never give alcohol to a Monkey.
There’s more but you get the idea.
I’ve only got 3 or 4 more of these meetings left, but I’m running out of material.
So I need some advice. What other kinds of things should one never do nor attempt?
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Got Me Covered
Here are two things you may or may not know about me.
First, I am not a sports fan. I could care less about any college or pro sport. The only football game I watch is the superbowl and then it’s really about the ads. And hanging around with friends who have a lot of food. Oh, I might watch a few minutes of a football or baseball or hockey game from time to time, but that’s really about it.
And I have certainly never planned a day around watching televised sports (with the above exception of the Superbowl).
Second, I am a hat wearer. I love hats. Or pretty much any headwear, really.
I am considering trying to get a job on the medevac helicopter just so I can get the cool helmet.
I even have a rather expensive Stetson Fedora that I wear when I’m dressed up and the weather is bad. And I’m telling you, having a dry mellon and water-free glasses is great.
Now onto the story.
In my last job I traveled extensively and the part that I enjoyed most was working in the dental schools. I covered 26 schools and used to make it a point to buy a School of Dentistry hat from as many of the school stores as I could.
At home I would wear different hats and cycle through some favorites. I have a Harvard hat, Iowa, West Virginia University, University of Louisville, Boston University, University of Kentucky and a few others.
Lately I’ve been wearing the UK hat. I like the way it fits and it’s a jaunty royal blue.
A couple of weeks ago I was at the Kroger formerly known as Farmer Jacks doing my grocery shopping with The Peanut and wearing my UK hat when an elderly gentleman in a suit and car coat walked up, put his hand on my arm and said “school X didn’t have any mercy yesterday, did they?”
My mouth opened and I could feel the blank look on my face as I said “Excuse me?”
“Your hat” he said. “192 Million to 3 in the game yesterday.”
I pulled the hat off, prepared to explain why I was wearing a UK hat. I think he could see that I had a story and wasn’t really a fan. He just wandered off.
I felt really bad. This guy was hoping to find a friend while his wife was checking out the canned goods. And he runs into me, a guy in a hat who could really care less about football. Poor guy.
And every time we passed one another in an aisle I felt bad.
I know that it’s not my fault, nor was it his. But there are times when I feel bad about disappointing perfect strangers.
Why do you suppose that is?
Now hit me with your stories.
First, I am not a sports fan. I could care less about any college or pro sport. The only football game I watch is the superbowl and then it’s really about the ads. And hanging around with friends who have a lot of food. Oh, I might watch a few minutes of a football or baseball or hockey game from time to time, but that’s really about it.
And I have certainly never planned a day around watching televised sports (with the above exception of the Superbowl).
Second, I am a hat wearer. I love hats. Or pretty much any headwear, really.
I am considering trying to get a job on the medevac helicopter just so I can get the cool helmet.
I even have a rather expensive Stetson Fedora that I wear when I’m dressed up and the weather is bad. And I’m telling you, having a dry mellon and water-free glasses is great.
Now onto the story.
In my last job I traveled extensively and the part that I enjoyed most was working in the dental schools. I covered 26 schools and used to make it a point to buy a School of Dentistry hat from as many of the school stores as I could.
At home I would wear different hats and cycle through some favorites. I have a Harvard hat, Iowa, West Virginia University, University of Louisville, Boston University, University of Kentucky and a few others.
Lately I’ve been wearing the UK hat. I like the way it fits and it’s a jaunty royal blue.
A couple of weeks ago I was at the Kroger formerly known as Farmer Jacks doing my grocery shopping with The Peanut and wearing my UK hat when an elderly gentleman in a suit and car coat walked up, put his hand on my arm and said “school X didn’t have any mercy yesterday, did they?”
My mouth opened and I could feel the blank look on my face as I said “Excuse me?”
“Your hat” he said. “192 Million to 3 in the game yesterday.”
I pulled the hat off, prepared to explain why I was wearing a UK hat. I think he could see that I had a story and wasn’t really a fan. He just wandered off.
I felt really bad. This guy was hoping to find a friend while his wife was checking out the canned goods. And he runs into me, a guy in a hat who could really care less about football. Poor guy.
And every time we passed one another in an aisle I felt bad.
I know that it’s not my fault, nor was it his. But there are times when I feel bad about disappointing perfect strangers.
Why do you suppose that is?
Now hit me with your stories.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
The Anatomy of an Accident
I’ve been meaning to get something out about this for a while now.
A week or so ago Mona and I were driving to work with The Peanut strapped into what I call her “space monkey chair” in the back seat, and we had the chance to see something from start to finish that you don’t usually get to see.
We saw an accident.
Sure, drive long enough and you’re bound to see a few, and maybe even be an unwilling participant in one. That’s not what I mean.
We were driving along and I had just moved over to pass a delivery truck on the right. In front of that truck was another truck, kind of like a bread truck.
There was a car about 50’ in front of them and another 50’ in front of that one.
As I got near the bread truck I looked forward and could see what was about to happen.
The car in the lead was headed into an intersection where other cars were stopped for a red light. But the leader wasn’t stopping. I could see that he was going to need to brake very hard in the next two seconds or hit the guy at the back of the line.
And the second car didn’t seem to notice this. Nor did the bread truck. The guy in the other truck couldn’t see any of this obviously. And by now I’m sure you can see where this is headed.
Car number one braked hard. Car number 2 locked his breaks and the bread truck did as well. The guy in the second car may have seen the bread truck lock ‘em up, he had some space ahead and got off his brakes which kept him out of the wreck that was about to happen.
I think I must have slowed down watching this all because now we were just behind the bread truck.
I saw the second truck rear end the bread truck. He just didn’t have enough time to stop.
The bread truck started to swerve into my lane and I moved toward the curb, yelling “whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa!”. Mona was silent watching out my window with one hand on her armrest and the other on the dashboard.
The bread truck missed us, or we missed him, and then for us it was over. We left the wreck and a lot of stopped traffic behind us.
The interesting part of the whole thing was that I could see when the first car was charging at the stopped traffic ahead that he was going to have a problem. The thing that got me was that the guy in car 2 missed it as did the guy in the bread truck.
If those two guys had been paying attention they could have easily slowed down and not caused the wreck.
It really took all 3 drivers not watching the road to cause this accident.
I still find it fascinating that I was in the right place to see the entire cause and effect chain of events. Normally you get that with the instant replay when you’re watching NASCAR.
Have you ever seen something kind of event like that unfold from start to finish?
A week or so ago Mona and I were driving to work with The Peanut strapped into what I call her “space monkey chair” in the back seat, and we had the chance to see something from start to finish that you don’t usually get to see.
We saw an accident.
Sure, drive long enough and you’re bound to see a few, and maybe even be an unwilling participant in one. That’s not what I mean.
We were driving along and I had just moved over to pass a delivery truck on the right. In front of that truck was another truck, kind of like a bread truck.
There was a car about 50’ in front of them and another 50’ in front of that one.
As I got near the bread truck I looked forward and could see what was about to happen.
The car in the lead was headed into an intersection where other cars were stopped for a red light. But the leader wasn’t stopping. I could see that he was going to need to brake very hard in the next two seconds or hit the guy at the back of the line.
And the second car didn’t seem to notice this. Nor did the bread truck. The guy in the other truck couldn’t see any of this obviously. And by now I’m sure you can see where this is headed.
Car number one braked hard. Car number 2 locked his breaks and the bread truck did as well. The guy in the second car may have seen the bread truck lock ‘em up, he had some space ahead and got off his brakes which kept him out of the wreck that was about to happen.
I think I must have slowed down watching this all because now we were just behind the bread truck.
I saw the second truck rear end the bread truck. He just didn’t have enough time to stop.
The bread truck started to swerve into my lane and I moved toward the curb, yelling “whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa!”. Mona was silent watching out my window with one hand on her armrest and the other on the dashboard.
The bread truck missed us, or we missed him, and then for us it was over. We left the wreck and a lot of stopped traffic behind us.
The interesting part of the whole thing was that I could see when the first car was charging at the stopped traffic ahead that he was going to have a problem. The thing that got me was that the guy in car 2 missed it as did the guy in the bread truck.
If those two guys had been paying attention they could have easily slowed down and not caused the wreck.
It really took all 3 drivers not watching the road to cause this accident.
I still find it fascinating that I was in the right place to see the entire cause and effect chain of events. Normally you get that with the instant replay when you’re watching NASCAR.
Have you ever seen something kind of event like that unfold from start to finish?
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
To the President Elect
I'm posting this before I see any of the returns and before I head to the polls to do my civic duty.
Dear Sir,
I wish you the best of luck in your presidency. I hope your service is long and healthy and may your legacy be one of peace, prosperity and success.
Sincerely-
Jorge
Dear Sir,
I wish you the best of luck in your presidency. I hope your service is long and healthy and may your legacy be one of peace, prosperity and success.
Sincerely-
Jorge
Saturday, November 1, 2008
The Halloween Report
And in keeping with my recent pledge-
We dressed The Peanut up in her little bumblebee outfit last night and I figured we'd go over to 3 or 4 neighbors and that would be all the Trick or Treating she'd stand for. She's not quite 2 1/2 yet.
Man was I wrong. We did the neighbors we're close to and then she wanted to go to more houses. She pulled me along and carried her own little bag. She knocked on doors, held out her little bag and said "Trick or Treat" and said "Thank you and Happy Halloween" every time I reminded her too.
She even walked up to a woman who was herding her own little ghouls and goblins and held out her bag. The lady thought it was funny and gave her a piece of candy.
I was chuckling the whole time.
She walked 2 blocks- both sides of the street. If I hadn't called a halt she would have kept right on going. I was really impressed. She was really into getting stuff. She had no idea what she was getting, but man it was fun! her little bag got so full I had to fill my pockets so she could keep carrying it.
We got back to the house and she knelt down on the front walk and sorted through the candy. She kept taking it out piece by piece and asking "What's this?" Me: "A Kit Kat" Her: What's this?" Me: "A Snickers" and on and on.
Then we put it all back and called it a night.
Our turnout was pretty low, so I still have a ton of candy left. For the last several days I've pretty much only eaten Halloween candy and cheese. I expect it to catch up to me any second now.
I was really surprised at how much I enjoyed taking her trick or treating. Halloween has long been my favorite holiday. I didn't think I could get more out of it, but walking around with my little peanut dressed as a honey bee, holding my finger with her whole hand was one of the best experiences of my life. Really. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed it.
My anti-Halloween is Christmas. I am fully in the Scrooge/Grinch camp. I've always found the holiday stressful and unpleasant. But now that I've seen The Peanut enjoy a Lite holiday like Halloween I'm almost looking forward to watching her get into Christmas. And it's freaking me out a little.
What's happening to me?
We dressed The Peanut up in her little bumblebee outfit last night and I figured we'd go over to 3 or 4 neighbors and that would be all the Trick or Treating she'd stand for. She's not quite 2 1/2 yet.
Man was I wrong. We did the neighbors we're close to and then she wanted to go to more houses. She pulled me along and carried her own little bag. She knocked on doors, held out her little bag and said "Trick or Treat" and said "Thank you and Happy Halloween" every time I reminded her too.
She even walked up to a woman who was herding her own little ghouls and goblins and held out her bag. The lady thought it was funny and gave her a piece of candy.
I was chuckling the whole time.
She walked 2 blocks- both sides of the street. If I hadn't called a halt she would have kept right on going. I was really impressed. She was really into getting stuff. She had no idea what she was getting, but man it was fun! her little bag got so full I had to fill my pockets so she could keep carrying it.
We got back to the house and she knelt down on the front walk and sorted through the candy. She kept taking it out piece by piece and asking "What's this?" Me: "A Kit Kat" Her: What's this?" Me: "A Snickers" and on and on.
Then we put it all back and called it a night.
Our turnout was pretty low, so I still have a ton of candy left. For the last several days I've pretty much only eaten Halloween candy and cheese. I expect it to catch up to me any second now.
I was really surprised at how much I enjoyed taking her trick or treating. Halloween has long been my favorite holiday. I didn't think I could get more out of it, but walking around with my little peanut dressed as a honey bee, holding my finger with her whole hand was one of the best experiences of my life. Really. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed it.
My anti-Halloween is Christmas. I am fully in the Scrooge/Grinch camp. I've always found the holiday stressful and unpleasant. But now that I've seen The Peanut enjoy a Lite holiday like Halloween I'm almost looking forward to watching her get into Christmas. And it's freaking me out a little.
What's happening to me?
A Time for Every Purpose Under Heaven
You may be getting tired of my poitical ravings.
To tell the truth, so am I.
Normally I don't expound on politics unless I'm in a room a) by myslef, b) talking with someone I know agrees with me, like my brother, or c) suffering from a head injury.
This election has brought out the worst in me.
So I now hereby undertake to not offer any political or economic opinions for at least the next four years unless there's something to big to ingnore, like Watergate, Iran-Contra or the Lewinski mess.
No matter who wins, America will be just fine in the long run.
And now back to the usual trivia.
To tell the truth, so am I.
Normally I don't expound on politics unless I'm in a room a) by myslef, b) talking with someone I know agrees with me, like my brother, or c) suffering from a head injury.
This election has brought out the worst in me.
So I now hereby undertake to not offer any political or economic opinions for at least the next four years unless there's something to big to ingnore, like Watergate, Iran-Contra or the Lewinski mess.
No matter who wins, America will be just fine in the long run.
And now back to the usual trivia.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Time to put on My Pseudo-Intellectual Hat
First of all, full disclosure and a disclaimer.
When I leave my job in December money will be tight enough for us to qualify for food stamps. Under the Obama tax plan (should it go through in time to be used for 2009 Tax Returns) my family would probably benefit directly.
What I’m about to say is meant to be a philosophical argument. Ultimately taxation is not really theft, and the fact that one chooses to live someplace with a representative government where taxes are levied and collected does imply consent to be taxed.
But here’s the thing.
Taking something that I haven't earned is stealing.
Taking something that someone else took from somebody who earned it is receiving stolen goods.
The tax plan that the blue states are voting for will result in, according to a report on NPR this afternoon, a "direct payment" to roughly the bottom third of tax filers (people who right now get pay no tax and get full refunds at the end of the year). That's right, 30 to 40% of people who file tax returns pay no income tax at all.
The "refundable tax credit" means they (and probably I) get a check that contains more than what was withheld in taxes. Sure I can use the money, but taking it is wrong.
That extra money came from someone who might not have been willing to give it up. Someone who spent roughly 2 1/2 hours a day, every day, working to do nothing more than hand those wages over to me.
That's the problem I have. To me, this tax plan looks like the government is brokering stolen goods.
Also at the core of the argument for me is the question “Why should I work hard if I’m not going to be any better off than I am now?”
After all, what's easier (and for that matter which do you value more)- working hard and earning an extra three, four or five thousand dollars or just having faceless donor write you a check?
That ends the philosophical portion of today’s discussion.
When I leave my job in December money will be tight enough for us to qualify for food stamps. Under the Obama tax plan (should it go through in time to be used for 2009 Tax Returns) my family would probably benefit directly.
What I’m about to say is meant to be a philosophical argument. Ultimately taxation is not really theft, and the fact that one chooses to live someplace with a representative government where taxes are levied and collected does imply consent to be taxed.
But here’s the thing.
Taking something that I haven't earned is stealing.
Taking something that someone else took from somebody who earned it is receiving stolen goods.
The tax plan that the blue states are voting for will result in, according to a report on NPR this afternoon, a "direct payment" to roughly the bottom third of tax filers (people who right now get pay no tax and get full refunds at the end of the year). That's right, 30 to 40% of people who file tax returns pay no income tax at all.
The "refundable tax credit" means they (and probably I) get a check that contains more than what was withheld in taxes. Sure I can use the money, but taking it is wrong.
That extra money came from someone who might not have been willing to give it up. Someone who spent roughly 2 1/2 hours a day, every day, working to do nothing more than hand those wages over to me.
That's the problem I have. To me, this tax plan looks like the government is brokering stolen goods.
Also at the core of the argument for me is the question “Why should I work hard if I’m not going to be any better off than I am now?”
After all, what's easier (and for that matter which do you value more)- working hard and earning an extra three, four or five thousand dollars or just having faceless donor write you a check?
That ends the philosophical portion of today’s discussion.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Just Exactly How Freakin' Small is the World, Anyway?
I have an interesting story, but first you’ll need some background.
My brother Juan has a best friend I’ll call Pepe. They’ve been best friends since first grade. Both Juan and Pepe know each others families and extended families quite well. In Juan’s case he even knows some of Pepe’s relatives who live in England and Australia. I’ve met some of them as well.
And now the story.
Last night I went to the airport to pick up Juan and his wife, Juanita. They were returning from their 2 week Mediterranean cruise honeymoon. They started out in Turkey, cruised to some Greek islands, then Egypt, more islands, and ended up on the Greek mainland.
During one of their last days in Athens they were walking around in some sort of plaza that Juan describes as kind of a giant flea market when he saw a guy who looked familiar. So my brother went up to him and called him a dirty name. The guy looked at Juan, paused long enough for Juan to worry that he had just called the wrong guy a dirty name and was going to get punched in the mouth, and said “What the f*&k are you doing here, mate?
Yep. It was one of Pepe’s cousins from Australia. In freaking Athens. How in the hell is it possible for 2 people from 2 different continents who happen to know one another to bump into each other on a 3rd entirely separate continent?
Now you many know Juan and you might know that he is a congenital liar. But this time he has photographic evidence. I saw the picture (still in the camera and unedited) of him and Pepe’s cousin standing around in Greece! He’s got indisputable proof.
I keep hearing that there are something like 5 or 6 billion people on this planet. If that was true a coincidence like this should not be possible. I’m going to need some proof that there are that many people. Otherwise there’s got to be something going on.
Anyone out there good at figuring out probabilities? Juan is from Michigan. Pepe’s cousin is Australian. They met up in Greece with no planning or forethought. It was entirely coincidental. Seriously, what’s the statistical probability of that happening?
My brother Juan has a best friend I’ll call Pepe. They’ve been best friends since first grade. Both Juan and Pepe know each others families and extended families quite well. In Juan’s case he even knows some of Pepe’s relatives who live in England and Australia. I’ve met some of them as well.
And now the story.
Last night I went to the airport to pick up Juan and his wife, Juanita. They were returning from their 2 week Mediterranean cruise honeymoon. They started out in Turkey, cruised to some Greek islands, then Egypt, more islands, and ended up on the Greek mainland.
During one of their last days in Athens they were walking around in some sort of plaza that Juan describes as kind of a giant flea market when he saw a guy who looked familiar. So my brother went up to him and called him a dirty name. The guy looked at Juan, paused long enough for Juan to worry that he had just called the wrong guy a dirty name and was going to get punched in the mouth, and said “What the f*&k are you doing here, mate?
Yep. It was one of Pepe’s cousins from Australia. In freaking Athens. How in the hell is it possible for 2 people from 2 different continents who happen to know one another to bump into each other on a 3rd entirely separate continent?
Now you many know Juan and you might know that he is a congenital liar. But this time he has photographic evidence. I saw the picture (still in the camera and unedited) of him and Pepe’s cousin standing around in Greece! He’s got indisputable proof.
I keep hearing that there are something like 5 or 6 billion people on this planet. If that was true a coincidence like this should not be possible. I’m going to need some proof that there are that many people. Otherwise there’s got to be something going on.
Anyone out there good at figuring out probabilities? Juan is from Michigan. Pepe’s cousin is Australian. They met up in Greece with no planning or forethought. It was entirely coincidental. Seriously, what’s the statistical probability of that happening?
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Lots of Little Things
I have a few things today.
First.
We took The Peanut to swim class yesterday. She asks about it regularly during the week and wants to go. Since it’s a parent and tot class I get in with her and she asks about games that we’ll play. One she asks for is called “Bouncy Bouncy”. Basically I bounce up and down while holding her and moving in a circle with the other parents in front of the water slide while saying “bouncy bouncy”. When we get in front of the slide I put her on the last two or three feet and pull her to me.
The thing that gets me is when we get there after being asked about it for a while she says she doesn’t want a turn on the slide. She got one anyway, and enjoyed it, but there was definitely some nervous anticipation there.
I really, really want her to be good in the water. He mother is afraid of anything deeper than a bath tub. I fear big water (the Great Lakes, seas and oceans) just enough to keep from doing anything stupid. But I’m very, very at home in the water. I’m not Michael Phelps, but it’s just because I’m shorter, fatter and lacking in his natural talent and drive. But I bet I’m just as comfortable in the pool. I want that level of comfort for The Peanut. Ultimately I want her to be my dive buddy and take her (and her potential sibling, or siblings if Mona has her way) on SCUBA trips. My biggest fear is that my desire for it will turn her off completely.
How do you balance that?
Second.
My boss has had some family issues lately and has been somewhat absent from the office. He’s told me what they are and I fully understand and support his decision. I think I’m turning into his wise older guy employee who can help him with what I’ll call for lack of a better word and with honest humility, my “wisdom”. Truthfully if I can give him the benefit of my experience then I’m glad.
But lately he’s also leaning on me to fill in for him when he’s out. Again not something I mind doing. I don’t want his job but I am a team player and if I can help him out I’m glad to do it.
The problem I have is this- I only have 38 more working days left at this job. The more he comes to lean on me the worse I fear having to quit. I know he’ll be fine and so will the company and my customers. I have no illusions about being indispensible. It’s just that the thought of letting this guy down really bothers me. Which is also a very new experience. I think I need a hug.
Third.
We’ve taken The Peanut to a couple of Halloween events this year. One at Greenfield Village (which I really liked) and one at the Detroit Zoo. We put her in a little bumblebee outfit which is very cute but she doesn’t really seem to dig the whole Halloween thing yet. Mostly she just rides along in her stroller and gets tired and cranky by about 7:30.
I’m sure it will be better next year. Halloween is my favorite holiday, followed by the Fourth of July. If only there was a way to incorporate explosives into Halloween it would be perfect. Costumes, free candy, anonymous giving and guilt free taking. What could possibly be better?
Fourth.
I just recently figured out how to explain my views on taxation and the concept of “fairness”. I think it’s only right that I get to keep what I earn. And that other people should get to keep what they earn. I don’t believe I have a right to the fruits of the labor of anyone who isn’t me.
So let’s look at it this way. Imagine life is a classroom. A few people who are really smart or very driven to study get A’s. A few more people get B’s and the largest chunk of students get C’s. D’s should occur about as often as B’s and F’s, Incompletes and Drops should about equal the number of A’s.
I tend to get A’s. If the Dean came down to a class I was in and told everyone with a C or below that he would be giving them some extra points to bring up their grades by taking a few points from the A and B students I would be furious. And if you added up all those points taken away and redistributed you would find that they aren’t really enough to change the grades of the people who got them in the first place. So now we end up with a system where no one is better off. How is that a good idea?
In order to go further with this example we’d have to start a very long discussion about the nature of money and wealth. My view is that it is unlike matter and energy in that it can be created where it had not previously existed. Therefore wealth has, or can be, infinite, whereas matter cannot. And if the amount of wealth is potentially unlimited we can’t punish the very rich for having a lot of it. They can’t really have more of infinity. And their share of infinity does not restrict me from getting the largest share possible. Does that make sense?
Last.
I have more stuff, but the dogs are wrestling, The Peanut is getting up and I really ought to get Mona up before the whole day is gone.
Hasta la bye bye, for now.
First.
We took The Peanut to swim class yesterday. She asks about it regularly during the week and wants to go. Since it’s a parent and tot class I get in with her and she asks about games that we’ll play. One she asks for is called “Bouncy Bouncy”. Basically I bounce up and down while holding her and moving in a circle with the other parents in front of the water slide while saying “bouncy bouncy”. When we get in front of the slide I put her on the last two or three feet and pull her to me.
The thing that gets me is when we get there after being asked about it for a while she says she doesn’t want a turn on the slide. She got one anyway, and enjoyed it, but there was definitely some nervous anticipation there.
I really, really want her to be good in the water. He mother is afraid of anything deeper than a bath tub. I fear big water (the Great Lakes, seas and oceans) just enough to keep from doing anything stupid. But I’m very, very at home in the water. I’m not Michael Phelps, but it’s just because I’m shorter, fatter and lacking in his natural talent and drive. But I bet I’m just as comfortable in the pool. I want that level of comfort for The Peanut. Ultimately I want her to be my dive buddy and take her (and her potential sibling, or siblings if Mona has her way) on SCUBA trips. My biggest fear is that my desire for it will turn her off completely.
How do you balance that?
Second.
My boss has had some family issues lately and has been somewhat absent from the office. He’s told me what they are and I fully understand and support his decision. I think I’m turning into his wise older guy employee who can help him with what I’ll call for lack of a better word and with honest humility, my “wisdom”. Truthfully if I can give him the benefit of my experience then I’m glad.
But lately he’s also leaning on me to fill in for him when he’s out. Again not something I mind doing. I don’t want his job but I am a team player and if I can help him out I’m glad to do it.
The problem I have is this- I only have 38 more working days left at this job. The more he comes to lean on me the worse I fear having to quit. I know he’ll be fine and so will the company and my customers. I have no illusions about being indispensible. It’s just that the thought of letting this guy down really bothers me. Which is also a very new experience. I think I need a hug.
Third.
We’ve taken The Peanut to a couple of Halloween events this year. One at Greenfield Village (which I really liked) and one at the Detroit Zoo. We put her in a little bumblebee outfit which is very cute but she doesn’t really seem to dig the whole Halloween thing yet. Mostly she just rides along in her stroller and gets tired and cranky by about 7:30.
I’m sure it will be better next year. Halloween is my favorite holiday, followed by the Fourth of July. If only there was a way to incorporate explosives into Halloween it would be perfect. Costumes, free candy, anonymous giving and guilt free taking. What could possibly be better?
Fourth.
I just recently figured out how to explain my views on taxation and the concept of “fairness”. I think it’s only right that I get to keep what I earn. And that other people should get to keep what they earn. I don’t believe I have a right to the fruits of the labor of anyone who isn’t me.
So let’s look at it this way. Imagine life is a classroom. A few people who are really smart or very driven to study get A’s. A few more people get B’s and the largest chunk of students get C’s. D’s should occur about as often as B’s and F’s, Incompletes and Drops should about equal the number of A’s.
I tend to get A’s. If the Dean came down to a class I was in and told everyone with a C or below that he would be giving them some extra points to bring up their grades by taking a few points from the A and B students I would be furious. And if you added up all those points taken away and redistributed you would find that they aren’t really enough to change the grades of the people who got them in the first place. So now we end up with a system where no one is better off. How is that a good idea?
In order to go further with this example we’d have to start a very long discussion about the nature of money and wealth. My view is that it is unlike matter and energy in that it can be created where it had not previously existed. Therefore wealth has, or can be, infinite, whereas matter cannot. And if the amount of wealth is potentially unlimited we can’t punish the very rich for having a lot of it. They can’t really have more of infinity. And their share of infinity does not restrict me from getting the largest share possible. Does that make sense?
Last.
I have more stuff, but the dogs are wrestling, The Peanut is getting up and I really ought to get Mona up before the whole day is gone.
Hasta la bye bye, for now.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Let me tell you how I really feel...
Originally what follows was meant to be a comment on Alex’s blog. But it kind kept growing and I just couldn’t bring myself to post this as a comment.
She was talking about some instructors at her university who were, in effect, offering bribes for good evaluations. She then asked if anyone had any experience with such a thing.
Here’s my answer, along with some stories about my own college experiences.
How does one go about offering a bribe in exchange for a good evaluation?
Ultimately an instructor offering a bribe suggests one of two things to me. Either the instructor is a complete idiot, realizes it, and hopes to keep the students from spreading it around "officially" or he or she just really insecure and mildly paranoid.
Either way I don't believe I would accept a bribe, but it may lead me to go a little easy on them out of pity. Unless it was done in a way that I felt was offensive, in which case I'd have no problems crushing them.
I have no experience with any sort of academic in all of the classes I've taken.
The last few evaluations I've done have been at a community college where I was taking some pre-reqs for the program I'm starting in January.
Both times the instructors conducted a full class and with 5 minutes or so left announced that they were passing out evaluations.
They asked for a volunteer to collect them and handed that person a manila envelope to seal after they were collected.
Then the instructors left the room and we were free to evaluate away.
All in all I there two things I think about evaluations. One is that they seldom ask the right questions and two is that they are never handed out by the instructors who need to be evaluated.
Both of these stories are true and unembellished.
There's only been two times when I wished that I could fill out an evaluation, The first was for a Humanities class. The instructor was a total idiot and really should have retired.
The tests were all true and false and the instructor was fond of telling us that he didn't even know how to write a trick question. And to a certain extent he was telling the truth. But here's an example. He referenced one of his lectures and referred to a photo of a kid being handed a horn to play in a marching band. The image was not on the test, you had to go from memory.
The question was: The boy in the picture was going to play trumpet in the marching band. True or False?
Now I spent several years in marching band and played in college for a while too. I remembered that picture and recalled noticing that the horn was a coronet.
So I asked if he was making a distinction between a trumpet and a coronet and he said yes, of course, they're two very different instruments.
I knew from years and years of playing that in a whole lot of bands coronets and trumpets play from the same music. In the same key. With the exact same fingerings. And if you can play one you can play the other with no changes in proficiency. It's like switching from an electric guitar to an acoustic guitar. The sound might be a little different (barely) but the guy who's playing it won't do a single thing differently.
No trick questions my ass. All his tests were like that. I would have evaluated the crap outta him.
I was so pissed when I walked out of that final that I told my parents if I got less than a B in that class I was going to the Dean.
The second was in a psych class. The instructor there liked to rant about stuff.
One day he came in griping about “kids today” and asked if anyone could tell him why it was that students today didn’t take their academic careers seriously.
And the idiots in my class who had apparently never been yelled at by an annoyed parent tried to answer! One kid said something like “Ummm… peer pressure?” Which of course only led to more ranting.
After about 5 minutes I finally got tired of it an raised my hand. I was a senior at this point and pretty salty. When he called on me I said “Why don’t you tell us? Surely this isn’t a phenomenon that began with people born after 1970!”
He came down the aisle, glowering all the way, stood next to my desk and told me “The only reason I’m standing here today is because I had a 3.X as an undergrad and a 4.0 in my post grad program!”
I replied “That’s great. I have a 3.8 in a business curriculum and I’m being recruited by Fortune 500 companies like Dow Chemical!”.
(OK, so I lied a little there. The truth is that I had done a ride along with a Dow rep a few months earlier as part of a class project.)
But that was enough to stop the rant and get on with the class, which was my goal.
After that I was just irritated by the guy. And if I had been able to evaluate him I would have had some things to say. None of them would have been complimentary.
The last time I checked ratemyprofessor.com that nut was still teaching.
This is one of the reasons that I rather dislike the whole idea of tenure. When accountability is removed wisdom often succumbs to hubris.
Any thoughts?
She was talking about some instructors at her university who were, in effect, offering bribes for good evaluations. She then asked if anyone had any experience with such a thing.
Here’s my answer, along with some stories about my own college experiences.
How does one go about offering a bribe in exchange for a good evaluation?
Ultimately an instructor offering a bribe suggests one of two things to me. Either the instructor is a complete idiot, realizes it, and hopes to keep the students from spreading it around "officially" or he or she just really insecure and mildly paranoid.
Either way I don't believe I would accept a bribe, but it may lead me to go a little easy on them out of pity. Unless it was done in a way that I felt was offensive, in which case I'd have no problems crushing them.
I have no experience with any sort of academic in all of the classes I've taken.
The last few evaluations I've done have been at a community college where I was taking some pre-reqs for the program I'm starting in January.
Both times the instructors conducted a full class and with 5 minutes or so left announced that they were passing out evaluations.
They asked for a volunteer to collect them and handed that person a manila envelope to seal after they were collected.
Then the instructors left the room and we were free to evaluate away.
All in all I there two things I think about evaluations. One is that they seldom ask the right questions and two is that they are never handed out by the instructors who need to be evaluated.
Both of these stories are true and unembellished.
There's only been two times when I wished that I could fill out an evaluation, The first was for a Humanities class. The instructor was a total idiot and really should have retired.
The tests were all true and false and the instructor was fond of telling us that he didn't even know how to write a trick question. And to a certain extent he was telling the truth. But here's an example. He referenced one of his lectures and referred to a photo of a kid being handed a horn to play in a marching band. The image was not on the test, you had to go from memory.
The question was: The boy in the picture was going to play trumpet in the marching band. True or False?
Now I spent several years in marching band and played in college for a while too. I remembered that picture and recalled noticing that the horn was a coronet.
So I asked if he was making a distinction between a trumpet and a coronet and he said yes, of course, they're two very different instruments.
I knew from years and years of playing that in a whole lot of bands coronets and trumpets play from the same music. In the same key. With the exact same fingerings. And if you can play one you can play the other with no changes in proficiency. It's like switching from an electric guitar to an acoustic guitar. The sound might be a little different (barely) but the guy who's playing it won't do a single thing differently.
No trick questions my ass. All his tests were like that. I would have evaluated the crap outta him.
I was so pissed when I walked out of that final that I told my parents if I got less than a B in that class I was going to the Dean.
The second was in a psych class. The instructor there liked to rant about stuff.
One day he came in griping about “kids today” and asked if anyone could tell him why it was that students today didn’t take their academic careers seriously.
And the idiots in my class who had apparently never been yelled at by an annoyed parent tried to answer! One kid said something like “Ummm… peer pressure?” Which of course only led to more ranting.
After about 5 minutes I finally got tired of it an raised my hand. I was a senior at this point and pretty salty. When he called on me I said “Why don’t you tell us? Surely this isn’t a phenomenon that began with people born after 1970!”
He came down the aisle, glowering all the way, stood next to my desk and told me “The only reason I’m standing here today is because I had a 3.X as an undergrad and a 4.0 in my post grad program!”
I replied “That’s great. I have a 3.8 in a business curriculum and I’m being recruited by Fortune 500 companies like Dow Chemical!”.
(OK, so I lied a little there. The truth is that I had done a ride along with a Dow rep a few months earlier as part of a class project.)
But that was enough to stop the rant and get on with the class, which was my goal.
After that I was just irritated by the guy. And if I had been able to evaluate him I would have had some things to say. None of them would have been complimentary.
The last time I checked ratemyprofessor.com that nut was still teaching.
This is one of the reasons that I rather dislike the whole idea of tenure. When accountability is removed wisdom often succumbs to hubris.
Any thoughts?
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Never a Dull Moment
I have a sore throat. Yesterday I had a fever to go along with it, but that seems to have passed. Mona wasn’t well either.
We decided to hit the sack at about 9 PM. After some tossing, a few drinks of water to wet the sore throat and then some turning we drifted off somewhere around 10.
At 2:30 it all went to hell.
Mona and I were awakened by lots of sirens in the back yard. I thought it was the bank alarm.
Mona looked out the back window while I looked out front. Police cruisers were whipping down the street and stopping 3 or 4 doors up. Then a couple of cops came running by. Then another.
All the time- Sirens.
Mona said someone ran through the neighbor’s yard to the north.
I turned on the exterior lights and heard the police yelling. The only word I heard clearly was a compound word that started with mother.
I decided to stay inside and wait until it was light to see what had happened.
After about 45 minutes or so it was all over. Mona went back to sleep but I couldn’t. So I watched TV until it was time to get going for the day.
Once it was light out I went out and reconstructed the crime scene. Below is a satellite picture of my house (with the little A). The top of the photo is North.
It looked like the Police chased someone who tried to turn into the eastbound side street. He didn’t make it. Judging by the oil streaks and bits of engine left this morning he hit the northeast curb at a 45 degree angle, curved a bit, went over the first parking island and came to a complete stop when he hit the southwest corner of my fence. He bent the chain link post and crushed one of the 4x4 posts on the privacy fence. Then a little further north the privacy fence was broken in a bit, I’m guessing from being climbed over.
In the back yard our one remaining garden bed had the copper tubing that the tomatoes climb up crushed, probably from being landed on. Our back gate was left open.
I have some estimators coming out to look at the fence and the insurance company has been notified.
I know that people have come over the fence after robbing the bank, but this is the first crash. Interstingly enough, I've talked with the neighbors in both houses south of me and they both missed the whole thing. Both have dogs who also missed it. It's a good thing I have Mona, a damaged fence and a police report to prove I was telling the truth.
This is my second experience with a police chase. My first was riding along with a friend who is a cop.
How about you?
We decided to hit the sack at about 9 PM. After some tossing, a few drinks of water to wet the sore throat and then some turning we drifted off somewhere around 10.
At 2:30 it all went to hell.
Mona and I were awakened by lots of sirens in the back yard. I thought it was the bank alarm.
Mona looked out the back window while I looked out front. Police cruisers were whipping down the street and stopping 3 or 4 doors up. Then a couple of cops came running by. Then another.
All the time- Sirens.
Mona said someone ran through the neighbor’s yard to the north.
I turned on the exterior lights and heard the police yelling. The only word I heard clearly was a compound word that started with mother.
I decided to stay inside and wait until it was light to see what had happened.
After about 45 minutes or so it was all over. Mona went back to sleep but I couldn’t. So I watched TV until it was time to get going for the day.
Once it was light out I went out and reconstructed the crime scene. Below is a satellite picture of my house (with the little A). The top of the photo is North.
It looked like the Police chased someone who tried to turn into the eastbound side street. He didn’t make it. Judging by the oil streaks and bits of engine left this morning he hit the northeast curb at a 45 degree angle, curved a bit, went over the first parking island and came to a complete stop when he hit the southwest corner of my fence. He bent the chain link post and crushed one of the 4x4 posts on the privacy fence. Then a little further north the privacy fence was broken in a bit, I’m guessing from being climbed over.
In the back yard our one remaining garden bed had the copper tubing that the tomatoes climb up crushed, probably from being landed on. Our back gate was left open.
I have some estimators coming out to look at the fence and the insurance company has been notified.
I know that people have come over the fence after robbing the bank, but this is the first crash. Interstingly enough, I've talked with the neighbors in both houses south of me and they both missed the whole thing. Both have dogs who also missed it. It's a good thing I have Mona, a damaged fence and a police report to prove I was telling the truth.
This is my second experience with a police chase. My first was riding along with a friend who is a cop.
How about you?
Friday, October 10, 2008
I think I need a hug.
We’re doomed. I wish it weren’t so, but I’m afraid that it’s no longer possible to pretend otherwise. I have always operated under the cynical premise "People are stupd." Today I learned just how stupid they are.
Mona and I were watching some TV after we put The Peanut to bed when the phone rang. It was a new kind of political phone call. I was conferenced in to a “Town Hall” call with a local congressman and a bunch of my fellow citizens in the district.
Normally I don’t go for such things, but it seemed like a neat idea so I decided to give it a listen. I was told at the beginning of the call that I’d be given the opportunity to ask the congressman a question if I chose.
Now I’ll tell you, this is a guy I’d voted against. Repeatedly. I figured I’d listen for an opening and pounce on him like a starving Cheetah on a ham sandwhich.
Then I started listening to the questions that were coming in. Holy crap. The best of the bunch was clueless and the worst was barely coherent. I heard one guy who was unemployed ask about the cost of his medical care. The congressman suggested he look into COBRA. The question was worthless and the answer showed just how disconnected the congressman was. He’s obviously never seen what COBRA costs.
The next guy, another auto worker, this time retired, rambled about foreign companies coming over here and buying our infrastructure and golf courses with the money they make by not paying their labor what we do. He wanted to know why all foreign imports weren’t considered luxuries and subject to luxury tax. Seriously? The answer is apparently socialized medicine. That will make us more competitive. Riiiiight.
The next guy, also unemployed, was concerned that the second extension of his unemployment was about to run out and was there any way they could come up with another extension in the next week or two instead of waiting for the next session of congress.
And this is when I finally understood that we’re doomed. I hung up because in a flash of clarity I knew that no matter how clever or well constructed my argument was it was highly unlikely that my fellow citizens would understand it. Cast not pearls before swine. I might not have had pearls, but heck even if I was casting nickels it would have been the same thing.
Clearly if these guys are voters we have no hope. The level of ignorance was just staggering. I started thinking about the Lincoln Douglas debates. I fear that were those two men to arrive from Heaven speaking the vernacular of the 21st century to debate the issues of the day the general public would by and large be completely incapable of understanding their arguments.
I am not talented enough to fully describe what I heard. But if what I heard was really a representative sample then we are truly doomed. Lord help us, we're doomed.
Where can I go to find a population of free thinking, independent, and self reliant people who are interested only in making their own way in the world without the need for or expectation of the warm, fluffy and ultimately suffocating blanket of parental government?
Mona and I were watching some TV after we put The Peanut to bed when the phone rang. It was a new kind of political phone call. I was conferenced in to a “Town Hall” call with a local congressman and a bunch of my fellow citizens in the district.
Normally I don’t go for such things, but it seemed like a neat idea so I decided to give it a listen. I was told at the beginning of the call that I’d be given the opportunity to ask the congressman a question if I chose.
Now I’ll tell you, this is a guy I’d voted against. Repeatedly. I figured I’d listen for an opening and pounce on him like a starving Cheetah on a ham sandwhich.
Then I started listening to the questions that were coming in. Holy crap. The best of the bunch was clueless and the worst was barely coherent. I heard one guy who was unemployed ask about the cost of his medical care. The congressman suggested he look into COBRA. The question was worthless and the answer showed just how disconnected the congressman was. He’s obviously never seen what COBRA costs.
The next guy, another auto worker, this time retired, rambled about foreign companies coming over here and buying our infrastructure and golf courses with the money they make by not paying their labor what we do. He wanted to know why all foreign imports weren’t considered luxuries and subject to luxury tax. Seriously? The answer is apparently socialized medicine. That will make us more competitive. Riiiiight.
The next guy, also unemployed, was concerned that the second extension of his unemployment was about to run out and was there any way they could come up with another extension in the next week or two instead of waiting for the next session of congress.
And this is when I finally understood that we’re doomed. I hung up because in a flash of clarity I knew that no matter how clever or well constructed my argument was it was highly unlikely that my fellow citizens would understand it. Cast not pearls before swine. I might not have had pearls, but heck even if I was casting nickels it would have been the same thing.
Clearly if these guys are voters we have no hope. The level of ignorance was just staggering. I started thinking about the Lincoln Douglas debates. I fear that were those two men to arrive from Heaven speaking the vernacular of the 21st century to debate the issues of the day the general public would by and large be completely incapable of understanding their arguments.
I am not talented enough to fully describe what I heard. But if what I heard was really a representative sample then we are truly doomed. Lord help us, we're doomed.
Where can I go to find a population of free thinking, independent, and self reliant people who are interested only in making their own way in the world without the need for or expectation of the warm, fluffy and ultimately suffocating blanket of parental government?
Monday, October 6, 2008
My Green Mile
I was supposed to have a meeting with my boss this morning. He had to reschedule (I wasn’t surprised, he’s a great boss but has time management issues) to Wednesday.
When we finally do meet he’s going to put me on a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP). I’m going on because my sales have been poor lately. It’s no surprise and it’s happened before, but it still sucks.
PIP used to be worse in the old days because it would cost you stock options and limit your ability to take time off. Both of those things are gone now, so the only downside is the prospect of getting fired.
And don’t think it doesn’t happen. There have been a dozen people or more that I’ve seen it happen to. I was almost one of them in July of 2007. I was within 8 hours of getting fired and got lucky at the last minute.
This month I get the verbal warning. In November I go on written. Technically if they wanted to get rid of me my last day could be November 28th. I don’t think it will happen, but it’s possible.
I have a countdown going in my head. 53 more working days as of today. I should be able to last until then.
I plan to give notice on December 8th anyway so if they fire me I can get a month off with my vacation pay and a month of unemployment. If they don’t I’ll get paid through the 19th and my vacation pay (close to 4 weeks). Either way I won’t be here in January.
My boss once mentioned that people don’t quit companies, they quit managers. I fully understand that, but I don’t feel like I’m doing that. If I was still working for the guy I was when I made the decision to return to school I think I would. But I will make it a point to thank this boss for everything, assure him that there are no hard feelings and wish him success with complete sincerity.
One of the things I feel bad about is quitting on him. Like I said he’s a good guy and I really believe that he’s interested in my success. Last week I accepted his invitation to his Christmas party (the managers here are encouraged to host parties for their teams in their own homes). The party is the 12th. So that Monday I quit, Friday I go to his party and spend the next week just getting things ready for my departure. Is attending the party a way to say thanks or is it a kick in the teeth? How do you see it?
When we finally do meet he’s going to put me on a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP). I’m going on because my sales have been poor lately. It’s no surprise and it’s happened before, but it still sucks.
PIP used to be worse in the old days because it would cost you stock options and limit your ability to take time off. Both of those things are gone now, so the only downside is the prospect of getting fired.
And don’t think it doesn’t happen. There have been a dozen people or more that I’ve seen it happen to. I was almost one of them in July of 2007. I was within 8 hours of getting fired and got lucky at the last minute.
This month I get the verbal warning. In November I go on written. Technically if they wanted to get rid of me my last day could be November 28th. I don’t think it will happen, but it’s possible.
I have a countdown going in my head. 53 more working days as of today. I should be able to last until then.
I plan to give notice on December 8th anyway so if they fire me I can get a month off with my vacation pay and a month of unemployment. If they don’t I’ll get paid through the 19th and my vacation pay (close to 4 weeks). Either way I won’t be here in January.
My boss once mentioned that people don’t quit companies, they quit managers. I fully understand that, but I don’t feel like I’m doing that. If I was still working for the guy I was when I made the decision to return to school I think I would. But I will make it a point to thank this boss for everything, assure him that there are no hard feelings and wish him success with complete sincerity.
One of the things I feel bad about is quitting on him. Like I said he’s a good guy and I really believe that he’s interested in my success. Last week I accepted his invitation to his Christmas party (the managers here are encouraged to host parties for their teams in their own homes). The party is the 12th. So that Monday I quit, Friday I go to his party and spend the next week just getting things ready for my departure. Is attending the party a way to say thanks or is it a kick in the teeth? How do you see it?
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
A synopsis of the "bailout"
This was written by my brother, Juan. I've edited a little to clean some stuff up but I have not changed any of his points. Bascially just spelling and grammer, but only where I thouhgt I must.
Take a look and tell me what you think.
The History
People have to start by looking at the root causes. In the late 90s, Alan Greenspan went crazy trying to "eliminate inflation" and cut rates to the bone, to get more money out to the country. We created wealth, and encouraged investment, which worked and spawned a technology boom and we saw big expansion in America. Things were by all accounts good - too good. It was a boom, rather than steady growth. But it is starting to seem like he went a little too far. Imagine blowing a bubblegum bubble - if you blow on it slowly, it grows. If you blow too much too fast, it pops. This had the unintended consequence of removing a good portion of the leverage the Fed has on the economy. (Generally, the Fed controls the money supply and interest rates. Lower rates encourage investment, and higher rates generally encourage savings). Well once you cut rates to the bone, you have no new incentives to make people spend, or stimulate investment.
Then we had George Bush's Admin in power. They got into office as the bubble burst. Now this is not to say that the bubble popping was Clinton's fault, or even Bush's. It was unsustainable growth. Then as the air went out of the market (NASDAQ, the technology company index, went from 5200 to 1500. - that is a whoopin' in anyone’s book) we had the second shoe dropping - the terrorist attacks. Again, not a fault of any administration. It’s not like GW and his policies were the reason for this, as the terrorists started planning under a more internationally popular administration. This essentially can be blamed on every admin definitely to Truman, and possibly all the way back to a time when the US was buidling ships to take on the Barbary pirates (thats the "shores of Triploi" reference in the Marine Corps hynm). Anyway, as the economy takes a beating on both fronts, the one area that props up the economic indicators is the housing market.
Now you have the change in the government. Up until the attacks, we figured we were all safe. I did. The attacks showed us how we were vulnerable. And then we created the "Homeland security dept.", and tried to revamp the immigration dept., and did all of these things that increased the size of government, not by choice, but as many saw as necessity. Unfortunately, there were no spending cuts to make up the added amount. Now we add in the war. Everyone was all gung ho about going in and blowing up bad guys. However, I doubt many were prepared for war like we are experiencing. Or the duration, or the cost. I believe the government was, but the American people turned when we didn't win and leave in 100 hours so to speak. And of course, there were things that were mishandled, and plans went drastically awry. But generally, it is another cost that derives no growth in the economy.
Congress now decides that the American dream is for everyone to have a home, in this great social Democrat dream of universal prosperity, and for more people to get credit. The administration looks and says hey, we are going out there and helping people own homes, so this MUST be good. Everyone of every party is in agreement so they go about helping boost homeownership. The congress voted for against a bill which would have limited the portfolio size of the Fannie Mae. I guess this was voted against on a party basis by the Deems. So Fannie gets bigger, and makes the future problem potentially larger. And like many people who don't understand what the real world is like, the people who agreed to all of this loosened policy all assumed wrongly that people who got credit and bought these houses outside of their means would live up to their responsibilities. Guess what happened? People around here who lost their jobs, and couldn't find work that could pay for their homes, or had to move to get work. I feel for those people... I really do. In those cases, foreclosures are not really due to bad decisions, and in many of those cases, I can see how it can happen to a lot of people. But that isn't the bulk of our foreclosures. Then there are the people who were given mortgages that were either too dumb to know that they couldn't afford them, had no intention of paying for them to begin with, or figured that they would get the benefits of great run ups in the market, and flip the house, or refinance it later when the value went up. Now, because there is a HUGE influx of buyers, housing prices start to rise and people take notice. Boomers buy real estate like crazy to prey on Gen X - like always. In 2006, almost 70% of the houses purchased were second houses, by boomers. People notice the money to be had, and decide to start to flip houses. It becomes so popular they make freaking TV shows out of it. A general rule of investing is that when everyone is in the market, it is time to get out. As loans went bad, banks and companies increased those lending standards again, and now you had far less money going into the housing market. Then you ran out of buyers, and these prices that were blown well in excess of fair value started to sink. Now suddenly, people who had bought were screwed, and rather than take the cash losses, they walk away.
Up to this time Fannie Mae is buying up all of these mortgages, and packaged them into collateralized mortgage backed securities which as essentially huge bonds based on mortgages. In a new shocking twist, I was told these things were rated AAA which is the highest credit rating you can get for a company, presumably because it was a quasi government agency. Well, the underlying value of these things collapses and Fannie's portfolio is devastated. So the government bails them out. However, a lot of banks had bought these types of investments, though not packaged by government, to park investments and monies. And the private ones fall apart too, and banks that used to have all of these assets start taking massive losses, and they collapse. Notice, the companies in the most trouble are investment banks, which packaged and held these assets, and banks that did a lot of mortgage work in California. Have you heard of PMI? Mortgage insurance? A lot of people who don't put down 20% have to pay insurance on their mortgages in case they fail. Well, the actuaries (the dudes that calculate the risks and the cost/benefit analysis to price insurance) gave them a potential risk. Not knowing just how bad these things could go, they underestimated, and the massive underwriters were now liable for up to 40 times their normal losses in the same circumstance. So now the insurance companies are screwed.
The Present
Foreclosures are ridiculously high, banks own properties that are worth significantly less than the loan that was defaulted on, and the broader economy is solid on a regional basis. This means that there are diversified areas of the country (Dallas and others) are doing well while places with a basis on manufacturing are in deep trouble - like here. And the government wants to bail out the companies that took the losses. The form of the bailout is in question. Some (Obama) call for reviewing each mortgage, and forcing the lenders to reduce the amount of the loan to an "affordable level" for the people. Some (more liberal jackasses) think we should add car debt and credit card debt into the package to give ordinary individuals a "break." Which is ludicrous. They also want to attach stipulations on any company that takes bailouts that will let the government decide who gets paid, and how much. While I see some of the bonus and pay craziness of some of the top execs, it goes against everything I believe in to allow the government to dictate what anyone should or shouldn't make. There doesn't seem to be a clear answer as to how the rest of the bailout is structured.
The Consequences
I will tell you, the other bailouts have good and drastically bad points to them. Fannie/Freddie and AIG are about the same - a boat load of cash is loaned to the company at a prohibitively high interest rate, plus a warrant for 80% of the value. If the warrant is not ever exercised - like pulling the trigger on the transaction, the government never gets that share and the shareholders get bailed out too. Now, considering that AIG is a large insurer, if they go under, the people who have non-mortgage policies, like life insurance, home-owners, you name it, get wiped out. So in some senses bailouts generally will protect those people who are completely innocent in all of this. And of course, on the other hand is the gross cost. If done as loans above the market rates, then the government earns on this deal, but it doesn't seem to be what they are talking about.
But as hard as I look, all I hear about is where we are in pushing the bill through, but no details. Sadly, the best details out there came from George W who said that government would buy up all the bad debt. When I hear that, I would imagine that means people who were in foreclosure would now owe the government, and the government would own the property. Sounds like a huge got auction and slumlord activity is on the horizon. Goodbye once nice neighborhoods.
However, if you tighten up the credit markets, and prevent people from gaining access to money, that is a bad thing, and could greatly hurt the broader economy. In some circumstances, I think it would be better for most people to have tightened credit, considering how poorly they did with more credit. In others, less credit than currently, means less money is spent, and the economy comes to a grinding halt.
Suffice it to say, that I don't like the direct bailout idea at all. The only people who should really be bailed out are people and companies that bought highly rated CMOs only to find out they were worthless - which is essentially a fraudulent sale. Essentially, bailing out the goofballs who didn't pay their bills angers me greatly - mainly because I was the sucker who did pay his bills, and went without because that was the responsible thing to do. And in truth, all a bailout really seems to do for most banks is keep them in business. It doesn't make housing prices go up. It doesn't protect people from assets declining in value. It doesn't really strengthen the market. It puts a band-aid on a sucking chest wound. But that is just one man's opinion.
Take a look and tell me what you think.
The History
People have to start by looking at the root causes. In the late 90s, Alan Greenspan went crazy trying to "eliminate inflation" and cut rates to the bone, to get more money out to the country. We created wealth, and encouraged investment, which worked and spawned a technology boom and we saw big expansion in America. Things were by all accounts good - too good. It was a boom, rather than steady growth. But it is starting to seem like he went a little too far. Imagine blowing a bubblegum bubble - if you blow on it slowly, it grows. If you blow too much too fast, it pops. This had the unintended consequence of removing a good portion of the leverage the Fed has on the economy. (Generally, the Fed controls the money supply and interest rates. Lower rates encourage investment, and higher rates generally encourage savings). Well once you cut rates to the bone, you have no new incentives to make people spend, or stimulate investment.
Then we had George Bush's Admin in power. They got into office as the bubble burst. Now this is not to say that the bubble popping was Clinton's fault, or even Bush's. It was unsustainable growth. Then as the air went out of the market (NASDAQ, the technology company index, went from 5200 to 1500. - that is a whoopin' in anyone’s book) we had the second shoe dropping - the terrorist attacks. Again, not a fault of any administration. It’s not like GW and his policies were the reason for this, as the terrorists started planning under a more internationally popular administration. This essentially can be blamed on every admin definitely to Truman, and possibly all the way back to a time when the US was buidling ships to take on the Barbary pirates (thats the "shores of Triploi" reference in the Marine Corps hynm). Anyway, as the economy takes a beating on both fronts, the one area that props up the economic indicators is the housing market.
Now you have the change in the government. Up until the attacks, we figured we were all safe. I did. The attacks showed us how we were vulnerable. And then we created the "Homeland security dept.", and tried to revamp the immigration dept., and did all of these things that increased the size of government, not by choice, but as many saw as necessity. Unfortunately, there were no spending cuts to make up the added amount. Now we add in the war. Everyone was all gung ho about going in and blowing up bad guys. However, I doubt many were prepared for war like we are experiencing. Or the duration, or the cost. I believe the government was, but the American people turned when we didn't win and leave in 100 hours so to speak. And of course, there were things that were mishandled, and plans went drastically awry. But generally, it is another cost that derives no growth in the economy.
Congress now decides that the American dream is for everyone to have a home, in this great social Democrat dream of universal prosperity, and for more people to get credit. The administration looks and says hey, we are going out there and helping people own homes, so this MUST be good. Everyone of every party is in agreement so they go about helping boost homeownership. The congress voted for against a bill which would have limited the portfolio size of the Fannie Mae. I guess this was voted against on a party basis by the Deems. So Fannie gets bigger, and makes the future problem potentially larger. And like many people who don't understand what the real world is like, the people who agreed to all of this loosened policy all assumed wrongly that people who got credit and bought these houses outside of their means would live up to their responsibilities. Guess what happened? People around here who lost their jobs, and couldn't find work that could pay for their homes, or had to move to get work. I feel for those people... I really do. In those cases, foreclosures are not really due to bad decisions, and in many of those cases, I can see how it can happen to a lot of people. But that isn't the bulk of our foreclosures. Then there are the people who were given mortgages that were either too dumb to know that they couldn't afford them, had no intention of paying for them to begin with, or figured that they would get the benefits of great run ups in the market, and flip the house, or refinance it later when the value went up. Now, because there is a HUGE influx of buyers, housing prices start to rise and people take notice. Boomers buy real estate like crazy to prey on Gen X - like always. In 2006, almost 70% of the houses purchased were second houses, by boomers. People notice the money to be had, and decide to start to flip houses. It becomes so popular they make freaking TV shows out of it. A general rule of investing is that when everyone is in the market, it is time to get out. As loans went bad, banks and companies increased those lending standards again, and now you had far less money going into the housing market. Then you ran out of buyers, and these prices that were blown well in excess of fair value started to sink. Now suddenly, people who had bought were screwed, and rather than take the cash losses, they walk away.
Up to this time Fannie Mae is buying up all of these mortgages, and packaged them into collateralized mortgage backed securities which as essentially huge bonds based on mortgages. In a new shocking twist, I was told these things were rated AAA which is the highest credit rating you can get for a company, presumably because it was a quasi government agency. Well, the underlying value of these things collapses and Fannie's portfolio is devastated. So the government bails them out. However, a lot of banks had bought these types of investments, though not packaged by government, to park investments and monies. And the private ones fall apart too, and banks that used to have all of these assets start taking massive losses, and they collapse. Notice, the companies in the most trouble are investment banks, which packaged and held these assets, and banks that did a lot of mortgage work in California. Have you heard of PMI? Mortgage insurance? A lot of people who don't put down 20% have to pay insurance on their mortgages in case they fail. Well, the actuaries (the dudes that calculate the risks and the cost/benefit analysis to price insurance) gave them a potential risk. Not knowing just how bad these things could go, they underestimated, and the massive underwriters were now liable for up to 40 times their normal losses in the same circumstance. So now the insurance companies are screwed.
The Present
Foreclosures are ridiculously high, banks own properties that are worth significantly less than the loan that was defaulted on, and the broader economy is solid on a regional basis. This means that there are diversified areas of the country (Dallas and others) are doing well while places with a basis on manufacturing are in deep trouble - like here. And the government wants to bail out the companies that took the losses. The form of the bailout is in question. Some (Obama) call for reviewing each mortgage, and forcing the lenders to reduce the amount of the loan to an "affordable level" for the people. Some (more liberal jackasses) think we should add car debt and credit card debt into the package to give ordinary individuals a "break." Which is ludicrous. They also want to attach stipulations on any company that takes bailouts that will let the government decide who gets paid, and how much. While I see some of the bonus and pay craziness of some of the top execs, it goes against everything I believe in to allow the government to dictate what anyone should or shouldn't make. There doesn't seem to be a clear answer as to how the rest of the bailout is structured.
The Consequences
I will tell you, the other bailouts have good and drastically bad points to them. Fannie/Freddie and AIG are about the same - a boat load of cash is loaned to the company at a prohibitively high interest rate, plus a warrant for 80% of the value. If the warrant is not ever exercised - like pulling the trigger on the transaction, the government never gets that share and the shareholders get bailed out too. Now, considering that AIG is a large insurer, if they go under, the people who have non-mortgage policies, like life insurance, home-owners, you name it, get wiped out. So in some senses bailouts generally will protect those people who are completely innocent in all of this. And of course, on the other hand is the gross cost. If done as loans above the market rates, then the government earns on this deal, but it doesn't seem to be what they are talking about.
But as hard as I look, all I hear about is where we are in pushing the bill through, but no details. Sadly, the best details out there came from George W who said that government would buy up all the bad debt. When I hear that, I would imagine that means people who were in foreclosure would now owe the government, and the government would own the property. Sounds like a huge got auction and slumlord activity is on the horizon. Goodbye once nice neighborhoods.
However, if you tighten up the credit markets, and prevent people from gaining access to money, that is a bad thing, and could greatly hurt the broader economy. In some circumstances, I think it would be better for most people to have tightened credit, considering how poorly they did with more credit. In others, less credit than currently, means less money is spent, and the economy comes to a grinding halt.
Suffice it to say, that I don't like the direct bailout idea at all. The only people who should really be bailed out are people and companies that bought highly rated CMOs only to find out they were worthless - which is essentially a fraudulent sale. Essentially, bailing out the goofballs who didn't pay their bills angers me greatly - mainly because I was the sucker who did pay his bills, and went without because that was the responsible thing to do. And in truth, all a bailout really seems to do for most banks is keep them in business. It doesn't make housing prices go up. It doesn't protect people from assets declining in value. It doesn't really strengthen the market. It puts a band-aid on a sucking chest wound. But that is just one man's opinion.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Off the Tracks
Plan your work, work your plan. If you don’t know where you're going, any road will get you there. Make “to do” lists. Set goals. Be the ball.
Some days I love a good axiom and some days I’d be happy to take an axe to an axiom.
I had a plan (or at least a general idea) for today. I figured I’d do some administrative stuff and figuratively clean off the old desk and have a nice easy paperwork day.
I got into the office a little late because we got out of the house a little late. Since Mona is hourly I take her to the office first, then drop off The Peanut and finally go in myself. I started by day about ten minutes to nine. I was reading my daily comics and checking the news and eeeaaasssing into the morning when a guy from another slightly related group came by my desk and asked if I’d heard about the passing of a mutual friends (and coworker) father last Friday.
I hadn’t, but since he gave me the heads up I went to the funeral mass to pay my respects. His father was 91 and had a bunch of children and grandchildren to mourn his passing. It was a good long life so not nearly as tragic as too many other funerals often are. But good gravy it was a long affair. It was a full Catholic mass along with a short VFW honor guard ceremony and a military flag presentation (he’d served in the Second World War). I left the office before Ten and got back to pick Mona up for lunch at One. So I didn’t get back to my desk until about Two.
And once I got back here I just couldn’t get my act together. I hemmed. I hawed. I surfed the internet.
I got a couple of calls returned and sent a couple of emails but that was it. For some reason I just could not get it into gear. My sense of urgency, such as it is, was lost and not to be found again today. The worst part is that I don’t know why. I don’t think it was really the issue of the funeral, I think it was more about the unplanned and somewhat abrupt change in the days plan. Once I was off track there seemed to be no going back. Sure I’m easily distracted and prone to going off on tangents, but this degree of inability to get back on course is extreme.
What happened? Does this ever happen to you?
Some days I love a good axiom and some days I’d be happy to take an axe to an axiom.
I had a plan (or at least a general idea) for today. I figured I’d do some administrative stuff and figuratively clean off the old desk and have a nice easy paperwork day.
I got into the office a little late because we got out of the house a little late. Since Mona is hourly I take her to the office first, then drop off The Peanut and finally go in myself. I started by day about ten minutes to nine. I was reading my daily comics and checking the news and eeeaaasssing into the morning when a guy from another slightly related group came by my desk and asked if I’d heard about the passing of a mutual friends (and coworker) father last Friday.
I hadn’t, but since he gave me the heads up I went to the funeral mass to pay my respects. His father was 91 and had a bunch of children and grandchildren to mourn his passing. It was a good long life so not nearly as tragic as too many other funerals often are. But good gravy it was a long affair. It was a full Catholic mass along with a short VFW honor guard ceremony and a military flag presentation (he’d served in the Second World War). I left the office before Ten and got back to pick Mona up for lunch at One. So I didn’t get back to my desk until about Two.
And once I got back here I just couldn’t get my act together. I hemmed. I hawed. I surfed the internet.
I got a couple of calls returned and sent a couple of emails but that was it. For some reason I just could not get it into gear. My sense of urgency, such as it is, was lost and not to be found again today. The worst part is that I don’t know why. I don’t think it was really the issue of the funeral, I think it was more about the unplanned and somewhat abrupt change in the days plan. Once I was off track there seemed to be no going back. Sure I’m easily distracted and prone to going off on tangents, but this degree of inability to get back on course is extreme.
What happened? Does this ever happen to you?
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
My Story
Over at The West Virginia Surf Report today, Jeff talked about how he met his wife at work and thought that it seemed like it was a pretty common way for spouses to meet. Then he asked people for their stories.
Here's what I said-
I’d never found fishing off the company pier effective.
Nope. I met Mona on eHarmony. She and I work in the same office now, but I don’t it counts.
My brother met his wife (plastic surgeon) on eHarmony and now that rat bastard is loaded.
3 of his buddies met their wives on eHarmony. And 2 of those guys… woof.
One of Mona’s cousins met her husband on eHarmony.
One of Mona’s close friends met his wife on eHarmony.
I’m telling you, that stuff works. I want to get all 16 of us together and shoot an eHarmony commercial.
Here’s a story that was written about us in a local paper. It’s reprinted here without permission and if it turns out to be an issue I’ll remove it with apologies. Names have been changed because it seems like the sane thing to do.
Mona framed the original article for me on my birthday this year. It was written in 2005.
***
DETROIT - Talk about life-changing decisions.
A year and a half ago, Jorge and Mona Lipschutz were both Detroit singles trying to figure out where to find a quality date.
Then they posted profiles on the same Internet dating site, met a few weeks later and got married a little more than a year after that.
Now, they're sitting in their Dearborn, Mich., home on a Friday evening trying to keep Hannah, their black Labrador puppy, from gnawing everything in sight.
Jorge, 35, and Mona, 29, look so cute and natural as a couple that they ought to be in one of those commercials for Internet dating sites.
They provide a pleasant contrast to the ABC show "Hooking Up" (9 p.m. Thursdays) where singles juggle, mislead, evade and dump potential mates they meet online.
The biggest drama in the Lipschutzs' lives involves deciding who has to clean up after Hannah. The Internet actually seems to have worked for Jorge and Mona.
"I'm still shocked she would have anything to do with me," says Jorge, who acts and looks a bit like the George Costanza character from "Seinfeld."
"C'mon, she's out of my league," he says, looking at his wife.
Mona, a shy redhead, shoots a "please shut up" look his way.
"That's a compliment," Jorge tries to explain.
"Thanks," she replies.
A few years ago, Jorge and Mona's relationship might never have happened. Initially labeled a last resort for losers, Internet dating has gone mainstream.
As the TV show "Hooking Up" reveals, the Internet is far from a magic answer for singles. In the first episode, Cynthia, a 34-year-old hair-salon manager, meets a guy online who describes himself as a "slim Fabio." In person, he looks more like a burned-out hippie.
The dating sites, though, say Internet dating has paid off for thousands of singles. Dating site eHarmony knows of at least 12,000 couples married after meeting on its site.
Match.com estimates it has helped hundreds of thousands of singles meet. It receives 200 e-mails or letters each month from couples telling about their engagements or marriages.
The age of online daters ranges from teens to seniors, but both eHarmony and Match.com say the prime audience tends to be people in their 30s who have moved beyond their college social network and are still looking for a mate.
More than 26 million people, or 16 percent of U.S. Internet users, visited an online dating site in June, according to comScore, a Virginia-based research firm.
The traffic has leveled off from an initial boom two years ago, but comScore estimates that U.S. consumers spent $470 million last year on Internet personals, making it the largest category of paid online content.
For Mona and Jorge Lipschutz, the Internet provided a better way to meet potential dates. Before going online, Jorge, a corporate rep for A large compay, and Mona, a landscape designer, say their dating lives weren't going well.
"It kind of sucked," Mona says bluntly. "It was frustrating. I was going out with different guys. I'd go out with them a couple of times here and there. I wasn't really clicking with any one."
In late 2003, Mona registered for eHarmony. A friend who met someone online encouraged her to sign up.
About the same time, Jorge saw a TV ad for the site and registered, too. Within a couple of weeks, their profiles were matched.
They met for lunch. Sparks didn't fly at first.
"I thought she was cute," Jorge says.
"I enjoyed the lunch," Mona says.
They agreed on a second date, which happened to be Valentine's Day. Jorge brought an unusual gift - flowers and drill bits.
In one of their early conversations, Mona told him that she received a drill as a Christmas gift but couldn't use it because it didn't come with drill bits.
The drill bits were funny and touching, Mona says. "I knew he was listening to what I was saying," she says.
The more time they spent together, the more they felt they were a match.
On the surface, they have differences. Jorge is conservative. He voted for Jorge W. Bush. Mona is liberal. She voted for John Kerry. Jorge is a scuba instructor. Mona rarely gets in the water.
But at the core, they have a lot in common. They both have independent personalities and enjoy traveling to new places. They prefer entertaining at home rather than going out to bars or clubs.
"For us, it's been very comfortable," Jorge says. "The word we use more than any other is 'easy."'
In September, right before an East Coast trip together, Jorge proposed. They were married in March. Marriage has made their lives better, they say.
"I have someone to share my day with," Jorge says.
"Share your life with, really," Mona adds.
Without the Internet, they say they never would have met. They frequently encourage single friends and family to register online.
Their advice about Internet dating: Sign up, fill out the profile honestly and take the time to thoughtfully consider your matches.
Internet dating isn't an act of desperation, Jorge says. It's a realization that you might not randomly stumble across your future husband or wife.
"For 34½ years, Ms. Right had not fallen out of the sky and landed in my lap," he says. "Maybe, waiting for it wasn't the right thing."
Here's what I said-
I’d never found fishing off the company pier effective.
Nope. I met Mona on eHarmony. She and I work in the same office now, but I don’t it counts.
My brother met his wife (plastic surgeon) on eHarmony and now that rat bastard is loaded.
3 of his buddies met their wives on eHarmony. And 2 of those guys… woof.
One of Mona’s cousins met her husband on eHarmony.
One of Mona’s close friends met his wife on eHarmony.
I’m telling you, that stuff works. I want to get all 16 of us together and shoot an eHarmony commercial.
Here’s a story that was written about us in a local paper. It’s reprinted here without permission and if it turns out to be an issue I’ll remove it with apologies. Names have been changed because it seems like the sane thing to do.
Mona framed the original article for me on my birthday this year. It was written in 2005.
***
DETROIT - Talk about life-changing decisions.
A year and a half ago, Jorge and Mona Lipschutz were both Detroit singles trying to figure out where to find a quality date.
Then they posted profiles on the same Internet dating site, met a few weeks later and got married a little more than a year after that.
Now, they're sitting in their Dearborn, Mich., home on a Friday evening trying to keep Hannah, their black Labrador puppy, from gnawing everything in sight.
Jorge, 35, and Mona, 29, look so cute and natural as a couple that they ought to be in one of those commercials for Internet dating sites.
They provide a pleasant contrast to the ABC show "Hooking Up" (9 p.m. Thursdays) where singles juggle, mislead, evade and dump potential mates they meet online.
The biggest drama in the Lipschutzs' lives involves deciding who has to clean up after Hannah. The Internet actually seems to have worked for Jorge and Mona.
"I'm still shocked she would have anything to do with me," says Jorge, who acts and looks a bit like the George Costanza character from "Seinfeld."
"C'mon, she's out of my league," he says, looking at his wife.
Mona, a shy redhead, shoots a "please shut up" look his way.
"That's a compliment," Jorge tries to explain.
"Thanks," she replies.
A few years ago, Jorge and Mona's relationship might never have happened. Initially labeled a last resort for losers, Internet dating has gone mainstream.
As the TV show "Hooking Up" reveals, the Internet is far from a magic answer for singles. In the first episode, Cynthia, a 34-year-old hair-salon manager, meets a guy online who describes himself as a "slim Fabio." In person, he looks more like a burned-out hippie.
The dating sites, though, say Internet dating has paid off for thousands of singles. Dating site eHarmony knows of at least 12,000 couples married after meeting on its site.
Match.com estimates it has helped hundreds of thousands of singles meet. It receives 200 e-mails or letters each month from couples telling about their engagements or marriages.
The age of online daters ranges from teens to seniors, but both eHarmony and Match.com say the prime audience tends to be people in their 30s who have moved beyond their college social network and are still looking for a mate.
More than 26 million people, or 16 percent of U.S. Internet users, visited an online dating site in June, according to comScore, a Virginia-based research firm.
The traffic has leveled off from an initial boom two years ago, but comScore estimates that U.S. consumers spent $470 million last year on Internet personals, making it the largest category of paid online content.
For Mona and Jorge Lipschutz, the Internet provided a better way to meet potential dates. Before going online, Jorge, a corporate rep for A large compay, and Mona, a landscape designer, say their dating lives weren't going well.
"It kind of sucked," Mona says bluntly. "It was frustrating. I was going out with different guys. I'd go out with them a couple of times here and there. I wasn't really clicking with any one."
In late 2003, Mona registered for eHarmony. A friend who met someone online encouraged her to sign up.
About the same time, Jorge saw a TV ad for the site and registered, too. Within a couple of weeks, their profiles were matched.
They met for lunch. Sparks didn't fly at first.
"I thought she was cute," Jorge says.
"I enjoyed the lunch," Mona says.
They agreed on a second date, which happened to be Valentine's Day. Jorge brought an unusual gift - flowers and drill bits.
In one of their early conversations, Mona told him that she received a drill as a Christmas gift but couldn't use it because it didn't come with drill bits.
The drill bits were funny and touching, Mona says. "I knew he was listening to what I was saying," she says.
The more time they spent together, the more they felt they were a match.
On the surface, they have differences. Jorge is conservative. He voted for Jorge W. Bush. Mona is liberal. She voted for John Kerry. Jorge is a scuba instructor. Mona rarely gets in the water.
But at the core, they have a lot in common. They both have independent personalities and enjoy traveling to new places. They prefer entertaining at home rather than going out to bars or clubs.
"For us, it's been very comfortable," Jorge says. "The word we use more than any other is 'easy."'
In September, right before an East Coast trip together, Jorge proposed. They were married in March. Marriage has made their lives better, they say.
"I have someone to share my day with," Jorge says.
"Share your life with, really," Mona adds.
Without the Internet, they say they never would have met. They frequently encourage single friends and family to register online.
Their advice about Internet dating: Sign up, fill out the profile honestly and take the time to thoughtfully consider your matches.
Internet dating isn't an act of desperation, Jorge says. It's a realization that you might not randomly stumble across your future husband or wife.
"For 34½ years, Ms. Right had not fallen out of the sky and landed in my lap," he says. "Maybe, waiting for it wasn't the right thing."
Friday, August 29, 2008
So what if I'm an anachronism?
I wear ties to work almost every day, rain or shine. I also can’t bring myself to enter a church or go to a wedding or funeral without at least a jacket and tie.
Mona’s uncle passed away recently and we attended his funeral. I wore a dark suit, ironed and starched long sleeve shirt, conservative tie, leather belt and polished leather shoes. I was one of the few men who did.
A couple of guys had on short sleeved shirts and ties, one had a suit on with work boots. There were a couple of guys in golf shirts and Dockers and a few showed up in shorts! I was appalled, simply appalled.
The women weren’t much better. I’ll leave the rules for women to a woman, but I’ll make some “suggestions” for the guys.
There's a good reason that I dress up. It’s about respect. Respect for the people I am working with, celebrating with, worshiping with or mourning with. I show my respect by being freshly showered, shaved, and dressed as well as I can be.
Sure, sometimes I would be more physically comfortable in lighter weight clothing, but not everything is about how I feel. It’s about letting other people know that they are important enough that I would dress up for them.
Mona laughs at me, and asks if I want a black tie funeral. I think that’s a bit much, but have requested business attire.
If you want to know how a suit should fit, take a look at old tapes of Johnny Carson, or any member of the Rat Pack. Those guys were perfectly tailored at all times. And a good tailor can do more with a $150 off the rack suit than you can imagine. You don't need to spend a lot to look good.
Here are a few rules I follow. Even if you don’t wear suits to work, every guy should have at the very least a decent navy blue suit. Charcoal suits are a good second choice. Pinstripes are generally more conservative. Black suits should only be worn by funeral directors. Brown, tan or olive suits can only be worn in the Midwest and states where cowboy hats are appropriate. If you're not from a state where everyone wears hats and boots, don't try it.
Tuxedos come in one color. Black. White dinner jackets are only to be worn if you're James Bond. Tails are only worn on very formal occasions, as are white ties and white vests. Stripped pants are appropriate before 6 PM.
A suit should be made of 100% worsted wool and fully lined. If you can afford it (I can’t) you can wear silk suits. Silk is very comfortable in the heat and sits and moves beautifully. (I have a pair of silk pants from Nautica that I found at TJ Maxx. They were originally $125, I think I got them for $20 or $25.)
The bottom of the jacket should hang about to your knuckles when your arms hang naturally. Sleeves should be about even with your wrist bone in order to show a little of your shirt cuff. Single, double or unvented jackets are basically a fashion decision, but your body type may dictate one or another. Jackets are never buttoned when a vest is being worn. When not wearing vest the lowest button on the jacket should remain unbuttoned. Jackets are to be unbuttoned when sitting and re-buttoned upon standing. Always button the inside button when wearing a double breasted jacket.
Pants should sit at your natural waist. Pockets should lay flat and not bulge or pull. Cuffs are optional, and pants without cuffs are generally thought of as more formal. Pants should rest lightly on the top of the instep and have one single, slight break about 4 inches above the hem. The pant should never touch the floor, nor should it puddle around your ankles.
Belts or suspenders are a personal choice, but must never be worn simultaneously. Belts should be leather and not worn or damaged. Suspenders should be cloth and buttoned to brace buttons in the waistband of the pant.
Shirts should be pressed and starched. Collars should fit comfortably around the neck, neither pinching nor gapping. If your shirt has a place for collar stays you can purchase brass stays that hold the points flat all day. French cuffs are a matter of personal preference.
Neckties should be silk and clip-ons are only acceptable for police officers as a safety precaution. The size of the knot is determined by the distance of the collar points from one another. A wide collar needs a full Windsor. Button downs seem to work best with a half Windsor. Forehand knots are for narrow collars. The point of the tie should just meet the belt buckle. Never use a tie tack, they damage the silk.
Vests should be tailored to fit as well . The vest should button comfortably without pulling. The bottom button should be left unbuttoned.
Socks should be darker than your shoes, not see through and not falling down. White socks are never acceptable.
Shoes should be the same color as the belt. They should be lace ups, with polished leather with leather soles. Rubber soled shoes are for the gym. Plastic shoes are just an abomination.
I don’t expect to expire anytime soon, but if I should, please be dressed appropriately when you come to pay your respects.
Mona’s uncle passed away recently and we attended his funeral. I wore a dark suit, ironed and starched long sleeve shirt, conservative tie, leather belt and polished leather shoes. I was one of the few men who did.
A couple of guys had on short sleeved shirts and ties, one had a suit on with work boots. There were a couple of guys in golf shirts and Dockers and a few showed up in shorts! I was appalled, simply appalled.
The women weren’t much better. I’ll leave the rules for women to a woman, but I’ll make some “suggestions” for the guys.
There's a good reason that I dress up. It’s about respect. Respect for the people I am working with, celebrating with, worshiping with or mourning with. I show my respect by being freshly showered, shaved, and dressed as well as I can be.
Sure, sometimes I would be more physically comfortable in lighter weight clothing, but not everything is about how I feel. It’s about letting other people know that they are important enough that I would dress up for them.
Mona laughs at me, and asks if I want a black tie funeral. I think that’s a bit much, but have requested business attire.
If you want to know how a suit should fit, take a look at old tapes of Johnny Carson, or any member of the Rat Pack. Those guys were perfectly tailored at all times. And a good tailor can do more with a $150 off the rack suit than you can imagine. You don't need to spend a lot to look good.
Here are a few rules I follow. Even if you don’t wear suits to work, every guy should have at the very least a decent navy blue suit. Charcoal suits are a good second choice. Pinstripes are generally more conservative. Black suits should only be worn by funeral directors. Brown, tan or olive suits can only be worn in the Midwest and states where cowboy hats are appropriate. If you're not from a state where everyone wears hats and boots, don't try it.
Tuxedos come in one color. Black. White dinner jackets are only to be worn if you're James Bond. Tails are only worn on very formal occasions, as are white ties and white vests. Stripped pants are appropriate before 6 PM.
A suit should be made of 100% worsted wool and fully lined. If you can afford it (I can’t) you can wear silk suits. Silk is very comfortable in the heat and sits and moves beautifully. (I have a pair of silk pants from Nautica that I found at TJ Maxx. They were originally $125, I think I got them for $20 or $25.)
The bottom of the jacket should hang about to your knuckles when your arms hang naturally. Sleeves should be about even with your wrist bone in order to show a little of your shirt cuff. Single, double or unvented jackets are basically a fashion decision, but your body type may dictate one or another. Jackets are never buttoned when a vest is being worn. When not wearing vest the lowest button on the jacket should remain unbuttoned. Jackets are to be unbuttoned when sitting and re-buttoned upon standing. Always button the inside button when wearing a double breasted jacket.
Pants should sit at your natural waist. Pockets should lay flat and not bulge or pull. Cuffs are optional, and pants without cuffs are generally thought of as more formal. Pants should rest lightly on the top of the instep and have one single, slight break about 4 inches above the hem. The pant should never touch the floor, nor should it puddle around your ankles.
Belts or suspenders are a personal choice, but must never be worn simultaneously. Belts should be leather and not worn or damaged. Suspenders should be cloth and buttoned to brace buttons in the waistband of the pant.
Shirts should be pressed and starched. Collars should fit comfortably around the neck, neither pinching nor gapping. If your shirt has a place for collar stays you can purchase brass stays that hold the points flat all day. French cuffs are a matter of personal preference.
Neckties should be silk and clip-ons are only acceptable for police officers as a safety precaution. The size of the knot is determined by the distance of the collar points from one another. A wide collar needs a full Windsor. Button downs seem to work best with a half Windsor. Forehand knots are for narrow collars. The point of the tie should just meet the belt buckle. Never use a tie tack, they damage the silk.
Vests should be tailored to fit as well . The vest should button comfortably without pulling. The bottom button should be left unbuttoned.
Socks should be darker than your shoes, not see through and not falling down. White socks are never acceptable.
Shoes should be the same color as the belt. They should be lace ups, with polished leather with leather soles. Rubber soled shoes are for the gym. Plastic shoes are just an abomination.
I don’t expect to expire anytime soon, but if I should, please be dressed appropriately when you come to pay your respects.
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