So what if I'm an anachronism?

I wear ties to work almost every day, rain or shine. I also can’t bring myself to enter a church or go to a wedding or funeral without at least a jacket and tie.

Mona’s uncle passed away recently and we attended his funeral. I wore a dark suit, ironed and starched long sleeve shirt, conservative tie, leather belt and polished leather shoes. I was one of the few men who did.

A couple of guys had on short sleeved shirts and ties, one had a suit on with work boots. There were a couple of guys in golf shirts and Dockers and a few showed up in shorts! I was appalled, simply appalled.

The women weren’t much better. I’ll leave the rules for women to a woman, but I’ll make some “suggestions” for the guys.

There's a good reason that I dress up. It’s about respect. Respect for the people I am working with, celebrating with, worshiping with or mourning with. I show my respect by being freshly showered, shaved, and dressed as well as I can be.

Sure, sometimes I would be more physically comfortable in lighter weight clothing, but not everything is about how I feel. It’s about letting other people know that they are important enough that I would dress up for them.

Mona laughs at me, and asks if I want a black tie funeral. I think that’s a bit much, but have requested business attire.

If you want to know how a suit should fit, take a look at old tapes of Johnny Carson, or any member of the Rat Pack. Those guys were perfectly tailored at all times. And a good tailor can do more with a $150 off the rack suit than you can imagine. You don't need to spend a lot to look good.

Here are a few rules I follow. Even if you don’t wear suits to work, every guy should have at the very least a decent navy blue suit. Charcoal suits are a good second choice. Pinstripes are generally more conservative. Black suits should only be worn by funeral directors. Brown, tan or olive suits can only be worn in the Midwest and states where cowboy hats are appropriate. If you're not from a state where everyone wears hats and boots, don't try it.

Tuxedos come in one color. Black. White dinner jackets are only to be worn if you're James Bond. Tails are only worn on very formal occasions, as are white ties and white vests. Stripped pants are appropriate before 6 PM.

A suit should be made of 100% worsted wool and fully lined. If you can afford it (I can’t) you can wear silk suits. Silk is very comfortable in the heat and sits and moves beautifully. (I have a pair of silk pants from Nautica that I found at TJ Maxx. They were originally $125, I think I got them for $20 or $25.)

The bottom of the jacket should hang about to your knuckles when your arms hang naturally. Sleeves should be about even with your wrist bone in order to show a little of your shirt cuff. Single, double or unvented jackets are basically a fashion decision, but your body type may dictate one or another. Jackets are never buttoned when a vest is being worn. When not wearing vest the lowest button on the jacket should remain unbuttoned. Jackets are to be unbuttoned when sitting and re-buttoned upon standing. Always button the inside button when wearing a double breasted jacket.

Pants should sit at your natural waist. Pockets should lay flat and not bulge or pull. Cuffs are optional, and pants without cuffs are generally thought of as more formal. Pants should rest lightly on the top of the instep and have one single, slight break about 4 inches above the hem. The pant should never touch the floor, nor should it puddle around your ankles.

Belts or suspenders are a personal choice, but must never be worn simultaneously. Belts should be leather and not worn or damaged. Suspenders should be cloth and buttoned to brace buttons in the waistband of the pant.

Shirts should be pressed and starched. Collars should fit comfortably around the neck, neither pinching nor gapping. If your shirt has a place for collar stays you can purchase brass stays that hold the points flat all day. French cuffs are a matter of personal preference.

Neckties should be silk and clip-ons are only acceptable for police officers as a safety precaution. The size of the knot is determined by the distance of the collar points from one another. A wide collar needs a full Windsor. Button downs seem to work best with a half Windsor. Forehand knots are for narrow collars. The point of the tie should just meet the belt buckle. Never use a tie tack, they damage the silk.

Vests should be tailored to fit as well . The vest should button comfortably without pulling. The bottom button should be left unbuttoned.

Socks should be darker than your shoes, not see through and not falling down. White socks are never acceptable.

Shoes should be the same color as the belt. They should be lace ups, with polished leather with leather soles. Rubber soled shoes are for the gym. Plastic shoes are just an abomination.

I don’t expect to expire anytime soon, but if I should, please be dressed appropriately when you come to pay your respects.

Update on the recliner issue

About 2 hours after I sent that email I got a call from a director in Minneapolis. He apologized, told me he’d call back in 10 minutes to tell me whether my chairs would be in on Friday or Saturday, and was sending me a gift card by way of apology.

I’m darned impressed with the turnaround, and have been enjoying my matched recliners for a couple of weeks now.

Pride and Politcis

You may or may not know that I live very near the city of Detroit.

Three's been a lot of news coming out of the city recently concerning Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick.

He's been charged with something like 15 counts of perjury stemming from a trial where he testified that he was not having an affair with is the Chief of Staff. Text messages sent on a city owned pager seem to suggest otherwise.

He recently spent a night in the county jail when a judge revoked his bond because the mayor made a trip to Canada without informing the court or asking permission to go.

He's now out on $50,000 bond and wearing a tether.

He will be arraigned today on two counts of felony assault related to claims that he shoved a sheriffs deputy and a process server who were trying to serve a subpoena on one of the mayors friends.

If you're not a local, have you heard about any of this?

What are your thoughts? What do you think of when you think of Detroit? What do you think when someone tells you they're from Detroit?

Let's see where this gets me

I still owe you more stories of dealing with mental patients. I'll get to them, I promise.

I have something else on my mind at the moment.

You might remember me asking a while ago where I should spend some gift cards I had won. Mona and I decided to buy a new PC from Dell, get a 40" LCD TV as a monitor and get a couple of recliners for the repainted and newly cleaned out office.

We've had the TV and PC for a while, but the recliners are an issue. We're sitting in an old office chair and a lawn chair right now. I expressed my frustration with Macys in the following letter to each member of their Board of Directors, CEO, CFO and various VPs.

To Whom It May Concern:

On July 22nd I ordered 2 Lane recliners from the Macy's store at Westland Mall in Westland, Michigan.

The recliners were paid for with gift cards which were awarded to me by my employer (a Fortune 60 company) for outstanding sales performance.

At the time of order, I chose to pick up the recliners in order to a) avoid the $100 delivery fee, b) not miss a day of work and c) pick up the chairs at my convenience. There was a $15 charge for pick up, which I agreed to.

I was told to expect the furniture to arrive in about 10 days. I waited 14 days and finally called to request an update on the status of my order. I was told that the distribution center in Chicago shipped half of my order and that I could expect the other half to arrive the following week.

When I contacted the pick up location at Macy's Northland in Southfield, Michigan I was advised that customer pick up was no longer an option and the second recliner would not be available for pick up.

In fact, the first recliner needed to be returned to the distribution center and reshipped to me directly. There would be another week's delay and an additional delivery fee.

In contacting customer service I spoke to a supervisor and while she was professional, polite and sympathetic, she was unable to assist me. She did agree to credit the delivery fee, but only after I receive the furniture.

This is not acceptable to me. I have been a professional business to business sales representative in a quota bearing environment for more than 15 years. I know what it takes to make a sale and to retain my customers business in the following months and years.

Macy's has not lived up to what I consider the minimum standard of customer service.

I have declined to pay any additional fees and am attempting to secure a refund of my money.

I believe I have a contract with Macy's and your organizations decision to make unannounced changes leading to additional fees is at best, a poor business practice.

The inability of the company to set proper expectations at the time of sale, provide post-sale communication and meet the terms of your agreements is highly disappointing.

Macy's inability to resolve this issue quickly and to my satisfaction will ensure I consider other retailers in the future.

Should you have any questions please feel free to contact me at any time.

Love,

Jorge

(I didn't really sign it like that)

So what do you think will happen?