So we have been going back and forth about our Thanksgiving plans.
We were supposed to go to my Mother In Laws house tomorrow but there's some flu going around over there and Mona has canceled. This is the second time we've had a cancelation like this. The first time was Easter two years ago. I managed to get us a last minute invite that time, but this time it looks like we're hosed.
My family does Thanksgiving with all their in-laws and it's too late to weasel an invite to one of those events. My brother is going to his in-laws and that sounds like a nightmare and Mona says they're out.
Next year we're hosting. And I don't care if the house has just burned down, we're not cancelling. As long as the rubble is cool enough to sit on we're doing it.
But for now it looks like no Thanksgiving for us. Mona is OK with staying home but I'm not. A holiday without a lot of family around is just sick and wrong to me.
Shit.
If you need me I'll be over here sulking.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Tick Tock
Today was a big day.
I had a mandatory 9 to 4 orientation session at the Nursing school that I’ll be going to beginning January 5th.
There wasn’t a lot to it really. It was a few things about requirements, uniforms, books and schedules along with a fair amount of “It’s going to be really, really hard, so be ready.” We also got a 5 minute tour of the lab.
There are around 40 students in the class and counted 7 or 8 guys. That seems pretty strong to me. At least one was leaving an auto company. Since it took me a year of taking pre-requisite classes with a bunch of other people who were going into nursing to get here I figured I would see some familiar faces. There was one, someone that was in my Organic Chemistry class a year ago, but that was it.
I was surprised to see her because she was set to enter this program last May. Apparently she had some medical issues that pushed her back several months. But I was glad to see someone I knew.
The whole thing wrapped up by 12:30 so I had a lot of time to myself. I went and got my student ID and parking permit and 5 school patches that I have to sew onto my scrubs and lab coat. I’m hoping the student ID will get me into movies cheaper now.
Then I went and bought some scrubs and a lab coat. And I got some new shoes, which Mona thinks look like old man shoes (they’re actually Rockports).
Everything I wear has to be white. No color anywhere. And no shirt under the scrubs. I’m going to look like an extra from M*A*S*H. But what the heck, right?
Taking the day off for school really seems to have gotten into my head. I really feel my time with my current employer coming to an end. I can see myself really starting to coast, and I am going to try and fight it. I want to try to go to the finish line if not strong, then at least under my own power. It’s getting harder. Tomorrow is a work day but I am just not feeling it. And with Thanksgiving next week there’s not going to be a lot to do.
I plan on resigning on December 8th with my last day on the 19th. That means 9 working days before I quit and 19 before I turn in my laptop and ID badge.
I still have some mixed emotions. There’s excitement in starting something new, nervousness about completing the program, mild worry about the effect this will all have at home, and a tiny bit of regret over quitting my job.
I expect it’s all pretty common place, but there it is.
I had a mandatory 9 to 4 orientation session at the Nursing school that I’ll be going to beginning January 5th.
There wasn’t a lot to it really. It was a few things about requirements, uniforms, books and schedules along with a fair amount of “It’s going to be really, really hard, so be ready.” We also got a 5 minute tour of the lab.
There are around 40 students in the class and counted 7 or 8 guys. That seems pretty strong to me. At least one was leaving an auto company. Since it took me a year of taking pre-requisite classes with a bunch of other people who were going into nursing to get here I figured I would see some familiar faces. There was one, someone that was in my Organic Chemistry class a year ago, but that was it.
I was surprised to see her because she was set to enter this program last May. Apparently she had some medical issues that pushed her back several months. But I was glad to see someone I knew.
The whole thing wrapped up by 12:30 so I had a lot of time to myself. I went and got my student ID and parking permit and 5 school patches that I have to sew onto my scrubs and lab coat. I’m hoping the student ID will get me into movies cheaper now.
Then I went and bought some scrubs and a lab coat. And I got some new shoes, which Mona thinks look like old man shoes (they’re actually Rockports).
Everything I wear has to be white. No color anywhere. And no shirt under the scrubs. I’m going to look like an extra from M*A*S*H. But what the heck, right?
Taking the day off for school really seems to have gotten into my head. I really feel my time with my current employer coming to an end. I can see myself really starting to coast, and I am going to try and fight it. I want to try to go to the finish line if not strong, then at least under my own power. It’s getting harder. Tomorrow is a work day but I am just not feeling it. And with Thanksgiving next week there’s not going to be a lot to do.
I plan on resigning on December 8th with my last day on the 19th. That means 9 working days before I quit and 19 before I turn in my laptop and ID badge.
I still have some mixed emotions. There’s excitement in starting something new, nervousness about completing the program, mild worry about the effect this will all have at home, and a tiny bit of regret over quitting my job.
I expect it’s all pretty common place, but there it is.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
I Need Some Advice
I have been meaning to talk about this for a while.
Every week we have a team meeting with all 10 reps and our boss. We just go over all the stuff that’s going on and sort of make sure we’re all on the same page.
The last item on the agenda is always “Best Practices”. We go around the room and each of the reps comes up with a tip for the week or talks about something that works for them.
As class clown I have to be different.
My boss has required that I come up with something legitimate at every meeting, but I also come up with some bit of weird advice. Most of my jokes are stolen, but I’m running out now.
I’ve used things like:
Never bet you can fit your head inside a glove compartment.
If a bar has human ears nailed to the walls, don’t pass out there.
Never fry bacon without a shirt on.
Never trust a gay fortune teller with the palm of your hand.
Don’t play strip poker in a nursing home.
When drinking never offer to prove that your shoes are fire proof.
Never throw a brick straight up.
Never ask a hitchhiker to babysit.
Never let a bald man borrow your comb.
Don’t get romantically involved with farm equipment.
Never give alcohol to a Monkey.
There’s more but you get the idea.
I’ve only got 3 or 4 more of these meetings left, but I’m running out of material.
So I need some advice. What other kinds of things should one never do nor attempt?
Every week we have a team meeting with all 10 reps and our boss. We just go over all the stuff that’s going on and sort of make sure we’re all on the same page.
The last item on the agenda is always “Best Practices”. We go around the room and each of the reps comes up with a tip for the week or talks about something that works for them.
As class clown I have to be different.
My boss has required that I come up with something legitimate at every meeting, but I also come up with some bit of weird advice. Most of my jokes are stolen, but I’m running out now.
I’ve used things like:
Never bet you can fit your head inside a glove compartment.
If a bar has human ears nailed to the walls, don’t pass out there.
Never fry bacon without a shirt on.
Never trust a gay fortune teller with the palm of your hand.
Don’t play strip poker in a nursing home.
When drinking never offer to prove that your shoes are fire proof.
Never throw a brick straight up.
Never ask a hitchhiker to babysit.
Never let a bald man borrow your comb.
Don’t get romantically involved with farm equipment.
Never give alcohol to a Monkey.
There’s more but you get the idea.
I’ve only got 3 or 4 more of these meetings left, but I’m running out of material.
So I need some advice. What other kinds of things should one never do nor attempt?
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Got Me Covered
Here are two things you may or may not know about me.
First, I am not a sports fan. I could care less about any college or pro sport. The only football game I watch is the superbowl and then it’s really about the ads. And hanging around with friends who have a lot of food. Oh, I might watch a few minutes of a football or baseball or hockey game from time to time, but that’s really about it.
And I have certainly never planned a day around watching televised sports (with the above exception of the Superbowl).
Second, I am a hat wearer. I love hats. Or pretty much any headwear, really.
I am considering trying to get a job on the medevac helicopter just so I can get the cool helmet.
I even have a rather expensive Stetson Fedora that I wear when I’m dressed up and the weather is bad. And I’m telling you, having a dry mellon and water-free glasses is great.
Now onto the story.
In my last job I traveled extensively and the part that I enjoyed most was working in the dental schools. I covered 26 schools and used to make it a point to buy a School of Dentistry hat from as many of the school stores as I could.
At home I would wear different hats and cycle through some favorites. I have a Harvard hat, Iowa, West Virginia University, University of Louisville, Boston University, University of Kentucky and a few others.
Lately I’ve been wearing the UK hat. I like the way it fits and it’s a jaunty royal blue.
A couple of weeks ago I was at the Kroger formerly known as Farmer Jacks doing my grocery shopping with The Peanut and wearing my UK hat when an elderly gentleman in a suit and car coat walked up, put his hand on my arm and said “school X didn’t have any mercy yesterday, did they?”
My mouth opened and I could feel the blank look on my face as I said “Excuse me?”
“Your hat” he said. “192 Million to 3 in the game yesterday.”
I pulled the hat off, prepared to explain why I was wearing a UK hat. I think he could see that I had a story and wasn’t really a fan. He just wandered off.
I felt really bad. This guy was hoping to find a friend while his wife was checking out the canned goods. And he runs into me, a guy in a hat who could really care less about football. Poor guy.
And every time we passed one another in an aisle I felt bad.
I know that it’s not my fault, nor was it his. But there are times when I feel bad about disappointing perfect strangers.
Why do you suppose that is?
Now hit me with your stories.
First, I am not a sports fan. I could care less about any college or pro sport. The only football game I watch is the superbowl and then it’s really about the ads. And hanging around with friends who have a lot of food. Oh, I might watch a few minutes of a football or baseball or hockey game from time to time, but that’s really about it.
And I have certainly never planned a day around watching televised sports (with the above exception of the Superbowl).
Second, I am a hat wearer. I love hats. Or pretty much any headwear, really.
I am considering trying to get a job on the medevac helicopter just so I can get the cool helmet.
I even have a rather expensive Stetson Fedora that I wear when I’m dressed up and the weather is bad. And I’m telling you, having a dry mellon and water-free glasses is great.
Now onto the story.
In my last job I traveled extensively and the part that I enjoyed most was working in the dental schools. I covered 26 schools and used to make it a point to buy a School of Dentistry hat from as many of the school stores as I could.
At home I would wear different hats and cycle through some favorites. I have a Harvard hat, Iowa, West Virginia University, University of Louisville, Boston University, University of Kentucky and a few others.
Lately I’ve been wearing the UK hat. I like the way it fits and it’s a jaunty royal blue.
A couple of weeks ago I was at the Kroger formerly known as Farmer Jacks doing my grocery shopping with The Peanut and wearing my UK hat when an elderly gentleman in a suit and car coat walked up, put his hand on my arm and said “school X didn’t have any mercy yesterday, did they?”
My mouth opened and I could feel the blank look on my face as I said “Excuse me?”
“Your hat” he said. “192 Million to 3 in the game yesterday.”
I pulled the hat off, prepared to explain why I was wearing a UK hat. I think he could see that I had a story and wasn’t really a fan. He just wandered off.
I felt really bad. This guy was hoping to find a friend while his wife was checking out the canned goods. And he runs into me, a guy in a hat who could really care less about football. Poor guy.
And every time we passed one another in an aisle I felt bad.
I know that it’s not my fault, nor was it his. But there are times when I feel bad about disappointing perfect strangers.
Why do you suppose that is?
Now hit me with your stories.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
The Anatomy of an Accident
I’ve been meaning to get something out about this for a while now.
A week or so ago Mona and I were driving to work with The Peanut strapped into what I call her “space monkey chair” in the back seat, and we had the chance to see something from start to finish that you don’t usually get to see.
We saw an accident.
Sure, drive long enough and you’re bound to see a few, and maybe even be an unwilling participant in one. That’s not what I mean.
We were driving along and I had just moved over to pass a delivery truck on the right. In front of that truck was another truck, kind of like a bread truck.
There was a car about 50’ in front of them and another 50’ in front of that one.
As I got near the bread truck I looked forward and could see what was about to happen.
The car in the lead was headed into an intersection where other cars were stopped for a red light. But the leader wasn’t stopping. I could see that he was going to need to brake very hard in the next two seconds or hit the guy at the back of the line.
And the second car didn’t seem to notice this. Nor did the bread truck. The guy in the other truck couldn’t see any of this obviously. And by now I’m sure you can see where this is headed.
Car number one braked hard. Car number 2 locked his breaks and the bread truck did as well. The guy in the second car may have seen the bread truck lock ‘em up, he had some space ahead and got off his brakes which kept him out of the wreck that was about to happen.
I think I must have slowed down watching this all because now we were just behind the bread truck.
I saw the second truck rear end the bread truck. He just didn’t have enough time to stop.
The bread truck started to swerve into my lane and I moved toward the curb, yelling “whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa!”. Mona was silent watching out my window with one hand on her armrest and the other on the dashboard.
The bread truck missed us, or we missed him, and then for us it was over. We left the wreck and a lot of stopped traffic behind us.
The interesting part of the whole thing was that I could see when the first car was charging at the stopped traffic ahead that he was going to have a problem. The thing that got me was that the guy in car 2 missed it as did the guy in the bread truck.
If those two guys had been paying attention they could have easily slowed down and not caused the wreck.
It really took all 3 drivers not watching the road to cause this accident.
I still find it fascinating that I was in the right place to see the entire cause and effect chain of events. Normally you get that with the instant replay when you’re watching NASCAR.
Have you ever seen something kind of event like that unfold from start to finish?
A week or so ago Mona and I were driving to work with The Peanut strapped into what I call her “space monkey chair” in the back seat, and we had the chance to see something from start to finish that you don’t usually get to see.
We saw an accident.
Sure, drive long enough and you’re bound to see a few, and maybe even be an unwilling participant in one. That’s not what I mean.
We were driving along and I had just moved over to pass a delivery truck on the right. In front of that truck was another truck, kind of like a bread truck.
There was a car about 50’ in front of them and another 50’ in front of that one.
As I got near the bread truck I looked forward and could see what was about to happen.
The car in the lead was headed into an intersection where other cars were stopped for a red light. But the leader wasn’t stopping. I could see that he was going to need to brake very hard in the next two seconds or hit the guy at the back of the line.
And the second car didn’t seem to notice this. Nor did the bread truck. The guy in the other truck couldn’t see any of this obviously. And by now I’m sure you can see where this is headed.
Car number one braked hard. Car number 2 locked his breaks and the bread truck did as well. The guy in the second car may have seen the bread truck lock ‘em up, he had some space ahead and got off his brakes which kept him out of the wreck that was about to happen.
I think I must have slowed down watching this all because now we were just behind the bread truck.
I saw the second truck rear end the bread truck. He just didn’t have enough time to stop.
The bread truck started to swerve into my lane and I moved toward the curb, yelling “whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa!”. Mona was silent watching out my window with one hand on her armrest and the other on the dashboard.
The bread truck missed us, or we missed him, and then for us it was over. We left the wreck and a lot of stopped traffic behind us.
The interesting part of the whole thing was that I could see when the first car was charging at the stopped traffic ahead that he was going to have a problem. The thing that got me was that the guy in car 2 missed it as did the guy in the bread truck.
If those two guys had been paying attention they could have easily slowed down and not caused the wreck.
It really took all 3 drivers not watching the road to cause this accident.
I still find it fascinating that I was in the right place to see the entire cause and effect chain of events. Normally you get that with the instant replay when you’re watching NASCAR.
Have you ever seen something kind of event like that unfold from start to finish?
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
To the President Elect
I'm posting this before I see any of the returns and before I head to the polls to do my civic duty.
Dear Sir,
I wish you the best of luck in your presidency. I hope your service is long and healthy and may your legacy be one of peace, prosperity and success.
Sincerely-
Jorge
Dear Sir,
I wish you the best of luck in your presidency. I hope your service is long and healthy and may your legacy be one of peace, prosperity and success.
Sincerely-
Jorge
Saturday, November 1, 2008
The Halloween Report
And in keeping with my recent pledge-
We dressed The Peanut up in her little bumblebee outfit last night and I figured we'd go over to 3 or 4 neighbors and that would be all the Trick or Treating she'd stand for. She's not quite 2 1/2 yet.
Man was I wrong. We did the neighbors we're close to and then she wanted to go to more houses. She pulled me along and carried her own little bag. She knocked on doors, held out her little bag and said "Trick or Treat" and said "Thank you and Happy Halloween" every time I reminded her too.
She even walked up to a woman who was herding her own little ghouls and goblins and held out her bag. The lady thought it was funny and gave her a piece of candy.
I was chuckling the whole time.
She walked 2 blocks- both sides of the street. If I hadn't called a halt she would have kept right on going. I was really impressed. She was really into getting stuff. She had no idea what she was getting, but man it was fun! her little bag got so full I had to fill my pockets so she could keep carrying it.
We got back to the house and she knelt down on the front walk and sorted through the candy. She kept taking it out piece by piece and asking "What's this?" Me: "A Kit Kat" Her: What's this?" Me: "A Snickers" and on and on.
Then we put it all back and called it a night.
Our turnout was pretty low, so I still have a ton of candy left. For the last several days I've pretty much only eaten Halloween candy and cheese. I expect it to catch up to me any second now.
I was really surprised at how much I enjoyed taking her trick or treating. Halloween has long been my favorite holiday. I didn't think I could get more out of it, but walking around with my little peanut dressed as a honey bee, holding my finger with her whole hand was one of the best experiences of my life. Really. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed it.
My anti-Halloween is Christmas. I am fully in the Scrooge/Grinch camp. I've always found the holiday stressful and unpleasant. But now that I've seen The Peanut enjoy a Lite holiday like Halloween I'm almost looking forward to watching her get into Christmas. And it's freaking me out a little.
What's happening to me?
We dressed The Peanut up in her little bumblebee outfit last night and I figured we'd go over to 3 or 4 neighbors and that would be all the Trick or Treating she'd stand for. She's not quite 2 1/2 yet.
Man was I wrong. We did the neighbors we're close to and then she wanted to go to more houses. She pulled me along and carried her own little bag. She knocked on doors, held out her little bag and said "Trick or Treat" and said "Thank you and Happy Halloween" every time I reminded her too.
She even walked up to a woman who was herding her own little ghouls and goblins and held out her bag. The lady thought it was funny and gave her a piece of candy.
I was chuckling the whole time.
She walked 2 blocks- both sides of the street. If I hadn't called a halt she would have kept right on going. I was really impressed. She was really into getting stuff. She had no idea what she was getting, but man it was fun! her little bag got so full I had to fill my pockets so she could keep carrying it.
We got back to the house and she knelt down on the front walk and sorted through the candy. She kept taking it out piece by piece and asking "What's this?" Me: "A Kit Kat" Her: What's this?" Me: "A Snickers" and on and on.
Then we put it all back and called it a night.
Our turnout was pretty low, so I still have a ton of candy left. For the last several days I've pretty much only eaten Halloween candy and cheese. I expect it to catch up to me any second now.
I was really surprised at how much I enjoyed taking her trick or treating. Halloween has long been my favorite holiday. I didn't think I could get more out of it, but walking around with my little peanut dressed as a honey bee, holding my finger with her whole hand was one of the best experiences of my life. Really. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed it.
My anti-Halloween is Christmas. I am fully in the Scrooge/Grinch camp. I've always found the holiday stressful and unpleasant. But now that I've seen The Peanut enjoy a Lite holiday like Halloween I'm almost looking forward to watching her get into Christmas. And it's freaking me out a little.
What's happening to me?
A Time for Every Purpose Under Heaven
You may be getting tired of my poitical ravings.
To tell the truth, so am I.
Normally I don't expound on politics unless I'm in a room a) by myslef, b) talking with someone I know agrees with me, like my brother, or c) suffering from a head injury.
This election has brought out the worst in me.
So I now hereby undertake to not offer any political or economic opinions for at least the next four years unless there's something to big to ingnore, like Watergate, Iran-Contra or the Lewinski mess.
No matter who wins, America will be just fine in the long run.
And now back to the usual trivia.
To tell the truth, so am I.
Normally I don't expound on politics unless I'm in a room a) by myslef, b) talking with someone I know agrees with me, like my brother, or c) suffering from a head injury.
This election has brought out the worst in me.
So I now hereby undertake to not offer any political or economic opinions for at least the next four years unless there's something to big to ingnore, like Watergate, Iran-Contra or the Lewinski mess.
No matter who wins, America will be just fine in the long run.
And now back to the usual trivia.
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