This too shall pass

I'm worried.

Mona came home tonight and told me that a director at her company came in to meet with her managers and some HR people today.

The managers have been a little withdrawn since the meetings. Mona thinks she may lose her job and I'm concerned she's right. Her group is the best performing group in the country, but also the most expensive. They could move her job down south and cut their costs by 30%.

I expect that's what will happen, but I really, really hope I'm wrong.

But it's got me concerned.

Ultimately I think we'll be OK. We can make most of our payments from unemployment and I can use some of that scholarship money for expenses instead of tuition. If my brother keeps his job she can work as a nanny for his soon to arrive baby. With even a few hundred a month that should be enough to get us by.

Mona and I talked a little about the cuts that we'll have to make. Goodbye cable, netflix and cell phones and internet. No eating out. Ever. Lots of beans and rice and peanut butter and jelly. Movies will have to come from the public library (whoever invented libraries ought to be canonized. Seriously, that has to be the single greatest contribution to humanity that has ever been made).

I don't imagine we'll have the AC on much this summer if the worst happens.

I know that we can make it. I know that a lot of people are a heck of a lot worse off than we are. I know that tough times don't last forever. I know the good old day's weren't always good and tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems.

We're in a recession, but no matter what the media says, it's nothing like the Great Depression. We're just in a big readjustment.

No matter what happens, even if we hit rock bottom, I know my family and Mona's family will always be willing to provide food and shelter.

I think the worst is just the uncertainty of it all.

If I could just absolutely guarantee that I'm going to make it through this nursing program I'd feel much better. I know there is light at the end of the tunnel, and I know it's not a train. I just don't know if I will make it to the end or if I'll have to turn back and find another route.

There's no reason I shouldn't make it. I have the intelligence and the ability. Really the only thing that can really stop me is misfortune (I hope).

And to tell the truth, I have always felt lucky. Oh, I'm not lotto winner lucky, but I do think I have a fair amount of luck. Or divine assistance. Or both, and I mean it sincerely.

Whenever the proverbial stormclouds gather I seem to find a proverbial umbrella. I don't know why, but it seems to usually happen.

If it is divine intervention I am grateful and appreciative. I try and remember that when things are good too, and I like to take some time to simply say thank you for everything in my life that's good. And I try and do that same thing when things get tough.

Part of me wants to believe that my mother is somewhere looking out for me, or interceding on my behalf. I know that if she has that opportunity she's not letting it pass by. I hope I'm right about that and that Mom is happy and well wherever she is.

If the worst part about this whole thing is lost sleep and a few sacrifices, I'll count myself lucky. And I hope that no one else, anywhere, has it worse than that (even though I know they do).

We will all be OK. Every one of us. We're all in this together, and we'll all get through it together.

The best part will be telling our grandkids about how tough it was back around the turn of the century and how we had to tighten our belts, pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, dust our selves off, and plow ahead.

Good luck to us all.

A Couple of things

First of all, school is going well for the most part. I have solid A's in all my classes except Pharmacology, which is a high C. I took the midterm this afternoon and my best guess is that I wound up with something like an 80%, which in this program is a C+. 74.9% is failing and that's it, you're out of the program.

I am deeply concerned about this class. I work harder on it than any other, and yet I struggle. And it's not just me. Most people are unhappy with this course. If I fail it, I'm gone, and on the street with no job and slim prospects.

I've talked with the instructor a bit, but she has failed to impress me. I think I may have to go see the program head if things get really shakey. The way I see it, if I am carrying 21 credits and 18 of them are A's and one is a C, it might not just be me.

Can you tell I'm a litte wound up about this?

Anyway, on to funnier stuff.

Last weekend I left the house to study and on my way home was instructed to head over to the pet store and buy some food for our Emergency Backup Dog, also known as the cat (we have a primary and auxillary dog, but I believe in tripally redundant pet systems).

While in line I took this picture.





Everything you see there on their shopping cart are clothes for pets. There are more outfits in hand and several already on the counter.

The guy behind me was laughing and said he wished he had his camera phone. All I could think about was how bad must that house smell. And those outfits were in the $15 and up range.

Wow.

Not for the weak stomached

Dear lord what have I gotten myself into? I can't give too much detail but I am so grossed out from this morning at the hospital.

It all started when a patient told me to "put some gloves on".

I had to help a 400 pound guy pee so we could measure what was coming out.

He held up part of his belly while I held up his belly's belly which had to weigh at least 20 lbs, was purple, dimpled and looked and felt like a large brick (yes it was that solid) inside a sock made out of purple turkey skin with one hand while using the other to hold a piss jug up to his wangular area.

As if that wasn't bad enough right after I poured his piss in the toilet he let go with a silent fart that absolutely blindsided me.

I have a kid and large dogs and it wasn't my first time in a hospital. Normally I can get past funky smells. But something about this one really got to me.

I actually started to heave and for a moment thought I was going to puke in his sink.

I managed not to and then went to a staff bathroom to sort myself out.

I really had to think about whether or not I wanted to be in this program.

What a day.

Fun and Follies

You may have noticed that I've been a little quiet lately.

Expect that to continue for the next 8 or 9 weeks. School has started for real and holy crap am I busy.

This week we had 2 exams, 3 papers (in APA format, cited and referenced as necessary) and 2 online quizzes. Plus 2 days working in the hospital. Next week I think I only have one paper due (maybe 2), but I have at least 3 exams and possibly an online quiz or two as well. They're doing their best to pack two years of school into 39 weeks.

This morning was a tough one. I got up at 4:45, got my stuff together and got to the hospital at about 6:20. That's when I noticed that I didn't have my hospital ID badge. Nor did I have a lock for my locker. Then I looked in my bag and realized that I didn't have the paper that was due today.

Luckily the girls from my class had all seen the paper and told the instructor that I wasn't just looking for extra time, so I'm OK there.

Later, we got our assignments for the day and I was sent to cover one patient. She's ill, but she didn't need a lot of help from me. She can feed herself and move OK and whatnot. And since I'm not allowed to pass medications yet, I had some extra time.

Out in the hall one of my classmates was headed for one of the rooms she was covering because the call light was on and needed to be turned off. She didn't know how to do it and I went in to look too. On the wall was a button that read CANCEL.

What do you think was below that one?

Yep.

A big red one that said CODE.

Can you guess which one I pushed?

Yep. That's right.

What happened next, you ask? I'll tell you.

Alarms started going off. People started coming from everywhere. I think there were people in the hallway from other hospitals in the next county. The PA lit up, "Code blue, 11 east.... Code blue 11 east". Peoples pagers started going off. Every person in that hospital heard it and I think anyone in scrubs was headed in that direction. Honestly, if I had been in an all boys middle school screaming "Horny naked supermodels here!" over and over I would not have gotten half as many people moving as I did just then.

I'm frantically pushing the CANCEL button and wishing that the PA would just shut up. The girl in my class was out in the hall telling people it was a false alarm.

Finally the sirens stopped and the PA announced the code was canceled. I was there in the room, starting to drip with flow sweat, wishing I could melt into the floor and giving serious thought to locking myself in the patients bathroom.

After it was all over the people were really very kind about the whole thing, but it was very embarrassing.

So that's the story of my THIRD DAY of clinicals. My third freaking day.

Crap.

Tomorrow I think I'll pull the fire alarm just to sort of round the whole thing out.

Ever had an embarassing moment at work or school? Please share it and help me ease the shame.